I can't help it, I'm judging

K Byte

Just saw this gem in my Facebook news feed:

"One one note, my stove may have just died. On another note, I have the most loving, caring, considerate and thoughtful man leading our household. It is my privilege to Biblicaly submit to my wonderful husband. My life is so blessed."

How do these two thoughts relate to each other? And what is "biblically submit," is that that crazy domestic discipline stuff they're always going on about on TN? Whatever it is, it doesn't sound like something I'd like to do, and I'm a Christian and I definitely love my husband!

DISCUSS.

NatesGirl16

Ew.  Just....ew.

DodgersBride

Yeah I have no idea why those two thing relate to each other.

That's like saying oh I am taking the best crap ever and on another note my FI is the best most loving FI ever and I am so happy to be a love slave of his.

flyjawn

one word.  CREEPY.

[Deleted User]

It almost sounds sarcastic, like she's mad at him. But if she's serious, then it's just weird. Not my cup of tea at all.

sosterhout

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:bcb9070e-0b48-45f2-bea5-d09e65572f11">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah I have no idea why those two thing relate to each other. That's like saying oh I am taking the best crap ever and on another note my FI is the best most loving FI ever and I am so happy to be a love slave of his.
Posted by DodgersBride[/QUOTE]

this pretty much sums it up!

staceytaylor0704

I think "Biblically submit" means to them whatever their beliefs on that are. Some people have way OFF beliefs on that whole idea- like that crazy domestic discipline mess.

The verse says :
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

BUT some people like to leave out the next part:
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

I don't look at that like I am supposed to be FI's slave. More like God created the family where the man "should" be head of the household. In other words, someone has to be in charge, or there will be chaos. However, a marriage is a unit, and husbands should NOT ignore the wife, or not value her opinions.. I hope this makes sense.. I'd write more but I am out the door to zumba.
Will check back.

SarahPLiz

I read that as someone trying to convince themselves and those around them of something that is otherwise not apparent (or true).

Nebb

My BIL's girlfriend does that all the time, writes something random and follows it up by how much she loves her amazing boyfriend. I think shes crazy.

DodgersBride

Hate to sound like a newbie but what does FTW mean?

I looked on FAQ and Chit Chats lingo post and nothing.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

For The Win!

Starmusica

i mean ive posted once in awhile that H has done something super nice or something like that.....

but unlike a few friends.. I do not do the nightly "H is phenomenal because he can boil water" posts

number55

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:4ffd9415-1dbc-431a-ab66-e50a75b9ea63">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]<a href="http://www.christiandd.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.christiandd.com/</a>
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

<div>Things like this make me mad because I am Christian and NOT pyscho. Bleh.</div>

number55

And, I wrote psycho wrong. Sigh.

DodgersBride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:9fa6bebf-ace0-40d1-921d-dae6a4df597a">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]For The Win!
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Thanks! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

DodgersBride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:fc099df4-6e23-43a2-aa15-965dddf01fe9">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]i mean ive posted once in awhile that H has done something super nice or something like that..... but unlike a few friends.. I do not do the nightly "H is phenomenal because he can boil water" posts
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]

This exactly.

allisong23

If her husband is so wonderful, why doesn't he fix the frickin stove?

KaylaSue19

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:d58e877e-70b2-4b7d-b072-b2bd0a48b9da">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I can't help it, I'm judging : from reading that girls blog that we had up last month.. it seems like shes been brainwashed into thinking it will help her be a better person/wife. I don't get it. I imagine the submissive must have some self confidence issues and the person in charge must have major control issues and abusive tendencies. To me- thats a potentially lethal combination
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]


I totally agree.

ricksang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:57714787-961c-4ec0-88ae-4a22fefd4d0f">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]If her husband is so wonderful, why doesn't he fix the frickin stove?
Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]

For real! Spend less time on putting his hands thatass and more time fixing things!

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:4ffd9415-1dbc-431a-ab66-e50a75b9ea63">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]<a href="http://www.christiandd.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.christiandd.com/</a>
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

<div>That is so fucked up, I can't even begin to understand.</div>

flyjawn

i had never heard of domestic discipline until this thread.

i am so disturbed that i'm at a loss for words.

Lenore2010

DD aside, the whole idea that God commanded my submission to anyone sickens me. I am particularly offended by the whole "The man is the spiritual head of the home" implying that males have a special relationship with God (you know, as first class humans as opposed to second class humans).

It is a part of what turned me off of traditional religion, all religions (Islam, Christianity, Judaism) contain some form or aspect of male-superior thinking.

I believe in a higher power that sees me as being as fully human, capable, and worthy as any man. As being human first, and gendered second.

staceytaylor0704

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:b615d56b-942b-4847-960a-02f9d28cb69c">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I can't help it, I'm judging : Things like this make me mad because I am Christian and NOT pyscho. Bleh.
Posted by number55[/QUOTE]

Same here. Those are the people that take scripture and totally twist it out of context. So wrong.

RYoung1485

So, part of me think that this whole DD thing is a sick sexual practice and the other half of me thinks its some type of sick psychological issue. And its sad to say but I think its a bit of both. This sh!t totally freaks me out. What woman sits there and is like, "Oh hey hubby, kick my @$$ when I do something less than desirable to you so I can learn to be a better wife and ultimately become a non verbal, subservient being whose sole purpose in life is to do exactly as you say, when you say it and how you say it without so much of an utterance of my ideas or desires."

Ugh. These women need to learn how to be a whole individual who is a valued partner.  

staceytaylor0704

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:50c0f0d3-b505-422b-8be7-69d2055b9a73">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]DD aside, the whole idea that God commanded my submission to anyone sickens me. I am particularly offended by the whole "The man is the spiritual head of the home" <strong>implying that males have a special relationship with God (you know, as first class humans as opposed to second class humans)</strong>. It is a part of what turned me off of traditional religion, all religions (Islam, Christianity, Judaism) contain some form or aspect of male-superior thinking. I believe in a higher power that sees me as being as fully human, capable, and worthy as any man. As being human first, and gendered second.
Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]

I totally get what you're saying, but I don't believe that is what the "spiritual head of the home" means. I'm obviously sucking at putting thoughts into words tonight, but I found this, that kinda says what I am trying to convey:

 <em>This insidious doctrine of “husband-leadership” is responsible for much of the prejudice against women, and it puts an impossible burden on men because they cannot always be spiritually superior to their wives, yet are encouraged to take the place of the Holy Spirit in a woman’s life. This is idolatry. So then, what is the meaning of “head?” The more accurate meaning is “source” or “origin,” and it refers to Eve being made from a bone in Adam’s side (Genesis 2:22), Adam being the “origin”. Of course, Christ is also the “origin” of the church (Eph. 5:23). Then, God put the man and woman back together, and now he submits himself to his wife for the same reason: she is “bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh!” (Eph. 5:21, 25-31)

</em>Also, I believe that God sees me as fully human, capable AND worthy as any man.
I don't believe He created any "second-rate" humans.

Again, not disrespecting your beliefs, just giving my perspective. :)

AmandaDB10

Ok I may be opening myself up here, but....

We are going through pre marriage counseling with our pastor. Neither of us are crazy-religious people who thump the Bible every day. We have our beliefs, but we know that it's a personal thing and not to be pushed.

ANYHOW....... Pastor explained to us that "submitting to your husband" does not at all mean, Husband makes all the decisions and you are his slave. His explanation of it left me believing that submitting means, you believe that there are times when he is more knowledgeable or a better leader in that particular situation. Sometimes my (soon to be) husband will submit to me, because I will be better equipped to handle that situation. Other situations I will submit to him, meaning he will take the lead and such, because he is better suited to that circumstance.

Am I making any sense? I think this happens in just about every marriage, it's just not always called this. There usually isn't one spouse who ALWAYS leads. It happens, but it's not the norm. IMO.

Thoughts?

Night_Sprite

Is my marriage doomed because I'm the alpha?

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:d5e108c6-b859-4a50-a619-a27c85fbb20e">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok I may be opening myself up here, but.... We are going through pre marriage counseling with our pastor. Neither of us are crazy-religious people who thump the Bible every day. We have our beliefs, but we know that it's a personal thing and not to be pushed. ANYHOW....... Pastor explained to us that "submitting to your husband" does not at all mean, Husband makes all the decisions and you are his slave. His explanation of it left me believing that submitting means, you believe that there are times when he is more knowledgeable or a better leader in that particular situation. Sometimes my (soon to be) husband will submit to me, because I will be better equipped to handle that situation. Other situations I will submit to him, meaning he will take the lead and such, because he is better suited to that circumstance. Am I making any sense? I think this happens in just about every marriage, it's just not always called this. There usually isn't one spouse who ALWAYS leads. It happens, but it's not the norm. IMO. Thoughts?
Posted by AmandaDB10[/QUOTE]

I just don't like the use of "submit". Replace that with deference maybe. Deference to me, implies mutual respect for someone with skills or knowledge applicable to the situation at hand. Submit implies obedience without thought.

Night_Sprite

Amanda, do his vows say submit, too?  If not, then it's still crap.

AmandaDB10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:840c415b-f28e-427a-ae4b-64e3b2771ea6">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]Amanda, do his vows say submit, too?  If not, then it's still crap.
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]

It's not even in our vows. It's just a topic we discussed in pre marriage counseling. We talked about it, discussed what it meant Biblically, and to us, and that was that. No big deal.

kathrynhabibti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-im-judging?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f666c65-3e6b-45d6-90cb-5cd07dd0bbb0Post:fc099df4-6e23-43a2-aa15-965dddf01fe9">Re: I can't help it, I'm judging</a>:
[QUOTE]i mean ive posted once in awhile that H has done something super nice or something like that..... but unlike a few friends.. I do not do the nightly "H is phenomenal because he can boil water" posts[/QUOTE]
Same

[QUOTE]agreed and not to drag the debate out of the closet again but all I have read of <strong>DD sounds like physical/mental/emotional abuse to me</strong>. Spanking because your wife misbehaves? punishing her in her room? its all just wrong...
......
from reading that girls blog that we had up last month.. it seems like shes been brainwashed into thinking it will help her be a better person/wife. I don't get it.<strong> I imagine the submissive must have some self confidence issues and the person in charge must have major control issues and abusive tendencies. To me- thats a potentially lethal combination
</strong>Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]
Exactly, and exactly. I feel like I should expand on the first thing I said - it seems to me that it's likely to be physical/mental/emotional abuse but I'm willing to believe that it's not necessarily so in every case, ie. they do keep in mind the second part of the belief; but even if it's not at that point, I feel the potential for abuse is still there.