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Snarky Brides

So tired of hearing this.

When people find out I'm engaged and getting married soon I get the 
"run while you can"
"say goodbye to freedom"
" ball and chain huh?"
How annoying. Just because you were a miserable person to live with doesn't mean my marriage is going to suck.  Also, not funny because every jack and jill thinks its SO HILARIOUS to make ball and chain jokes and what not.....Not funny. 
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Re: So tired of hearing this.

  • I agree with you! It's annoying a rude. I've heard "are you ready for this?" more than I've heard congratulations. SMH
  • I don't really get that much but my FI does. And it drives him crazy.  He replies with "if you felt that way then way did YOU get married"  This makes me smile.  But I sitll feel bad that he has to deal with that.  People just hate so they have to hate on everyone else.  Ignore the Haters!

    When you tell people, try this "I am getting married, and saying goodbye to my freedom?" With a smirk on your face it will totally disarm them.  haha I am laughing just thinking about the look on peoples faces.
  • I hear you! Your misery need not be ours, I say.
  • I always get the "So when's the baby due?" or "Is your dad holding a shotgun to his head?" line. Trust me, if we wanted kids while dating, we would have already made that happen...

  • He!!, I make the jokes myself...between the two of us.  but don't get any of that from others.  He has had someone tell him they wanted to come to the wedding, when we both know they're not on the guest list. (former coworker, and the list is family, and friends close enough to be family.  I had to ask him, if he was close enough to you to be considered family, then... okay, if not.. then....)
  • My dad told me to run when I told him. Yeah. My dad. Yell
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  • I hear them too, but it's more directed to my FI. 

    All of a sudden, I "have his balls in a jar" and he must "ask to have them back."

    I hate when his guy friends and brother make that comment every time FI and I do anything together.  I try to ignore it, but I hate being stereotyped into a demanding wife.  I am nothing of the sort and FI knows he doesn't need (never has) my permission to do things.

    Does anyone else get this too?
  • i get the "just rmember, you can't change him!" all the time...why would i be marrying someone i wanted to change?
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    september siggy challenge! my colours!

    "Love does not consist of gazing at each other's eyes but looking outwards at the same direction." - The Little Prince Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • I haven't gotten any weird remarks when I say I am getting married. I got engaged and some people said "its about damn time" but that is only because we have been together 5 years... and it is about damn time! haha!
  • i get tired of hearing it too especially from divorcees, ive heard how someones cousin was married for 2 years then got divorced, and how my own cousin was married for nine months then got divorced too. i mean what do people expect u to say? im still getting married regardless of how bad ur marrieage sucked.. sorry it happened but dont make me feel guilty for feeling happy and excited.. what i usually say id nothing is guaranteed in life.
    i also hear but ur so young... and lets not forget
    you dont have a pot to piss in
  • Ditto with the divorcees... my parents are both divorced and remarried, and I heard..."why do you want to spend so much money on the photographer? The pictures will just end up in the basement when your marriage ends, like mine did..."
    Thanks for the words of wisdom.  So positive.
    Anniversary
  • Well FI and are nearly always together and FI says to people "I'm getting married in XX days!" (I always laugh because he says HE'S getting married, not us!). So I cue in back "yeah, only XX days until doomsday and yet he doesn't seem very concerned! I think he's after her for her car!"  If the person FI is talking to has never met me, they figure I'm just a co-worker or good friend (FI has a lot of female buddies because of where he works - like sisters) and will reply back with some snarky comment. I think it's funny as all get out because they don't know I'm the bride that they are talking about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So after they stick their foot in their mouth FI tells them "uh yeah, SHE is my FI" - it's freaking hillarious!
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    My Ceremony Location - Scottish Castle

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  • How about: "so you've already had your fun then?" UMM...yeah I have had fun but my fun is not going to stop because I am getting married!! We have fun together and we still do fun things apart from each other. Ughh
    [IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/2vulwnt.jpg[/IMG]
  • I don't mind things said in humor from family/friends but comments from strangers/people I don't really know... yeah, it's annoying and rude.
    Anniversary
  • Some people just really have no idea....they like to think that just because they are unhappy that every other bride is unhappy as well....they'll eventually get over it just shake it off and know that you arent going to deal with it and you wont be like them.
  • "Just because you were a miserable person to live with doesn't mean my marriage is going to suck."

    That's exactly what I started saying when people made stupid comments. I swear it shuts them up immediately. :)
  • Ugh, I went through this too all throughout the engaged period, and sadly it doesn't stop once you get married. I've begun to adopt a more sarcastic approach to point out the ridiculousness and negativity people throw my way. Something like, "Wow, is that true? Thank goodness you told me, so I can finally stop trying! What a relief!"



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • I feel you! I get "Are you sure?"  "How old are you again?" "Jump the gun, yeah?". ALL from people we go to school with. OK, I get it, I am 19 and FI is 21. We will be 21 and 23 when we get married. But we would have also been dating for 6 years when we get hitched. What's wrong with just knowing this is right. Im a firm believer in age just being a number and am told by many employers, professors, etc that they would guess I am at least 24 by my maturity. We are not jumping into this. 

    Word of advice. Do what I do. Smile sweetly, answer their questions, and cut them from the guest list. Anyone who isn't happy for us obviously doesn't want to be there. Most of those people were already on the B list, and it makes it easy to cross them off. Good riddance. 
  • we will have been engaged for 13 months when we get married, and all i keep hearing is "you must not really love him" or "you must not be sure" in regards to our "long" engagement.  at first i came back with the fact that we have family all over the place and want everyone to be here for the wedding, and the next thing i got was "what?  your family doesn't have cars or plane fare?  if they wanted to be there they'd make it work no matter when you got married".....riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight....i've completely stopped talking to these people who make me want to scream!!!!!
  • I know we got into this the other week, but it is 485794835734 comments like these that I got constantly after getting engaged that make me less sympathetic to the whines I hear from all my peers now on why Mr. Right has not come along. You don't get to trash me for wanting to get married soon after college and then a few years later act like you are a flower wilting on the vine.
  • In Response to Re: So tired of hearing this.:
    [QUOTE]I know we got into this the other week, but it is 485794835734 comments like these that I got constantly after getting engaged that make me less sympathetic to the whines I hear from all my peers now on why Mr. Right has not come along. You don't get to trash me for wanting to get married soon after college and then a few years later act like you are a flower wilting on the vine.
    Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

    This exactly. Oh how I've missed you Meg. :)



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Eh, I just bought J a "ball and chain" to wear as a Halloween costume when we were engaged. :)

    Most of his friends figured he'd never get married (this is his first), and my friends were surprised I tried again (as was I). The lesson I learned is what was important - the marriage, not the wedding.
    image
    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
  • It's so sad, but I've heard more of these kinds of comments than I have "congratulations!" 

    People are so jaded these days.  Comments like that are said (and taken) with such disregard to what marriage is actually about!  I recently went to Nashville, TN for my bachelorette party and ALL I heard (from strangers, no less) was: "Run!" "Don't do it!" "Don't make the biggest mistake of your life!" "Good luck, you're gonna need it!" "Start saving for the divorce!"  Oh my goodness!  (Can I just mention, on a side note, how many married people were there that were not with their husbands/wifes... and were practically making out with strangers!!) 

    With the divorce rate as high as it is, people need to be encouraging and say positive things.  And if their marriage didn't work out and they want to give you advice, they should give you advice that will actually help.  Such as, "I wish we had spent more time doing ______" or "Always remember to talk to each other." 

    My parents divorced when I was pretty young, so marriage was always a scary word/thought for me... until I met my man.  I'm not scared, but I'm also not naive enough to think that everything will always come up roses without any real WORK.  I know how wrong things can go and how they can turn out, but I really don't need the bitter comments about why your marriage was a suck-fest. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • When my mom told my aunt I was engaged, my aunt asked "can't you talk her out of it?".  I wanted to retract her wedding invite.  Clearly, since I wasn't the one telling this aunt, we aren't close (I think the last time we spoke was at a funeral two years ago), so I have no idea why she feels entitled to judge.  On one hand I don't get many of the "ball and chain" type comments...but I'm getting married fairly young (22 on the wedding day) so I get crap for that pretty regularly. Drives me up a wall.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I get those a lot too. I just shrug them off. Most people aren't trying to be nasty, I hope anyway! You could always play a game too. Set a number, like 100. When you've put up with 100 comments go buy something you've been really wanting lately. That way you'll look forward to hearing those remarks because you get to treat yourself. Let's face it, you're going to hear the comments, so at least this way you'd be getting rewarded for having to hear people's rude humor!
  • I was told 2 days after we got engaged by a co-work to just to "go to city hall because you need to start saying for the second marriage." I about feel over! This comment has made all the other teasing seem minor.
  • In Response to Re: So tired of hearing this.:
    [QUOTE]we will have been engaged for 13 months when we get married, and all i keep hearing is "you must not really love him" or "you must not be sure" in regards to our "long" engagement.  at first i came back with the fact that we have family all over the place and want everyone to be here for the wedding, and the next thing i got was "what?  your family doesn't have cars or plane fare?  if they wanted to be there they'd make it work no matter when you got married".....riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight....i've completely stopped talking to these people who make me want to scream!!!!!
    Posted by BlueGreys4Me[/QUOTE]

    If you are still getting comments like, this point out that the average engagement period for an American couple right now is 12-18 months!! MY FI and I will be engaged for just shy of 11 months (I'm starting Law School in the Fall and we wanted to get married in the spring otherwise our engagement would have been longer). Two of our really good friends got engaged Sept 2009 and are not getting married until Oct 2012 because they are paying for the wedding themselves and need the time to save up!! Your engagement period is a refelction of how much time you feel you need to prepare (or an indication that you both wanted a specific date for you wedding and he didn't propose on an 'approved' (I say this smirking and with sarcasm) time schedule) not a refelction of your relationship.

    I kept getting the "are you sure? you are so young! you have your whole lives ahead of you! just stay engaged until after you get out of school!" questions! My responses were "yes! I know, that means we have more time together! Hopefully I will learn to cook before our lives are over! yeah because I can go to law school and plan a wedding at the same time! who do you think I am superwoman?"

    The ones that annoyed me most were these ones "so, are you not going back to school now?" (yes because I am going to completely give up my independence when I get married) and my favorite from my FMIL 2 weeks after announcing our engagement: "so when are you going to start a family?"

    I marry my soulmate in 8 days!!
  • I hate it so much too... I'm pretty sure I've heard "Oh my gosh, are you pregnant?" more than Congratulations... It's rediculous just how rude people can be...
  • The one that I kept getting and I thought was the stupidest question a person could ask me is "Are you sure he's the one?" Hell yeah I'm sure! I'm a smart girl and know when something is good for me or bad. And he is definitely THE ONE for me.

    It also hurts my FI because it makes him feel like he's not good enough for me. Not only is he good enough for me but he is good for and to me.
  • I hear these kind of comments more from our families than other people which to me just seems wrong. His family jokes about him being whipped and me telling him what to do. We definitely do not work that way, neither of us tells the other how to live! And my parents keep reminding me to remember that I can't change him. If I wanted to change him wouldn't I just have found someone else that was like how I want him to be? really....
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