Would you think this was weird?

LedZeppelin

So a little over an hour ago, FI told me he was leaving work and heading home. About half an hour later, when he should have been home, he texted me to say that he was playing a quick game with "Leslie." I asked, "a game of what?" He said pool.

First of all, I'm bummed that he went and played pool without me. I would love to go play pool, but we haven't had any extra money, so we really can't afford to right now.

Also, I'm not sure how I feel about him going out with another woman one on one to play pool. It seems to kind of date like to me. I've hung out with Leslie before. She's cool and I'm not worried about "something happening" or anything like that, but I don't know, this just seems weird, maybe inappropriate to me.

Please feel free to set me straight if I'm over reacting. TIA.

allisong23

I woiuld be a little annoyed, not because he was with a woman, but because he didn't invite me.

SarahPLiz

Wait until he gets home. Perhaps Leslie is having a hard time today and needed a friend and he didn't want to rehash it over the phone with you if she was in earshot. Don't assume anything, and listen when he comes home. Definitely let him know if made you at least pause, but listen first, k? 

LessThanZero

I would definitely be annoyed. Maybe that's not a rational response, but it's how I would feel. Not only because he didn't invite me and it's with a woman, but also because of how you mentioned not being able to afford it exactly.

I can't say I'd be able to practice what I'm about to preach, but try not to let it get to you. I'd bring it up to him, and let him know why it bothers you, but pick your battles. This one's not worth getting too upset over.

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-think-this-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4e5b29d6-a0d0-45d6-ab93-902dd727de2bPost:f309ceef-9dc1-4d8e-af87-c6e08ae3c6f9">Would you think this was weird?</a>:
[QUOTE]So a little over an hour ago, FI told me he was leaving work and heading home. About half an hour later, when he should have been home, he texted me to say that he was playing a quick game with "Leslie." I asked, "a game of what?" He said pool. First of all, I'm bummed that he went and played pool without me. I would love to go play pool, but we haven't had any extra money, so we really can't afford to right now. Also, I'm not sure how I feel about him going out with another woman one on one to play pool. It seems to kind of date like to me. I've hung out with Leslie before. She's cool and I'm not worried about "something happening" or anything like that, but I don't know, this just seems weird, maybe inappropriate to me. Please feel free to set me straight if I'm over reacting. TIA.
<p>Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>I'd be upset about the money issue, I think. That, and who randomly decides to play a game of pool when they've already told their s/o that they're heading home? A little bizarre.</p>

LedZeppelin

Ok, thanks ladies. I will definitely hear him out.

I'm not super angry or anything. I'm just a little perplexed by the situation and I suppose, slightly irritated.

KaylaSue19

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-think-this-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4e5b29d6-a0d0-45d6-ab93-902dd727de2bPost:188b896d-a1b5-4139-a2d9-775636b19737">Re: Would you think this was weird?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would definitely be annoyed. Maybe that's not a rational response, but it's how I would feel. Not only because he didn't invite me and it's with a woman, but also because of how you mentioned not being able to afford it exactly. I can't say I'd be able to practice what I'm about to preach, but try not to let it get to you. I'd bring it up to him, and let him know why it bothers you, but pick your battles. This one's not worth getting too upset over.
Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

 I'm not gonna lie, I would be irritated for all those reasons. LTZ is right though, let him know how you feel, but don't get too upset.

Sun's thought went through my head as well that is seems random after saying he was heading home.

Edit- Oh, and cute new sig pic, Led!

MarriedInAFever

I would find that weird and be irritated, LZ. I would expect to be invited. Just hear him out when he gets home and let HIM know how you feel.

LessThanZero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-think-this-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4e5b29d6-a0d0-45d6-ab93-902dd727de2bPost:069348e8-51c1-4df7-9ed9-666d6e308832">Re: Would you think this was weird?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, thanks ladies. I will definitely hear him out. I'm not super angry or anything. I'm just a little perplexed by the situation and I suppose, slightly irritated.
Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]

That's completely understandable Zepp. I agree with Sarah though, I'd ask him about it (in a non-accusatory way) when he gets home and see what he has to say. There could be a multitude of reasons for this and it's natural to kind of assume the worst.
Just try not to let it get the best of you, because when he does get home, you'll just be emotional and pissed off and nothing good will come of that.

LedZeppelin

He said it was "impulse." Umm...ok?

Thanks, Kayla!

staceytaylor0704

I would be upset. Sarah is wise though.

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-think-this-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4e5b29d6-a0d0-45d6-ab93-902dd727de2bPost:e8301694-8041-4f98-9b75-91b4e88b251b">Re: Would you think this was weird?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you think this was weird? : Word! Especially with those hardwood floors and the cookie scented candles you bought for open house, Mara. Tee-hee!   : )
Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]
Bahaha. Splinters in the ass are never a good thing.

LedZeppelin

Haha! Thank you for the laugh mar!

I think you guys are right. I don't think it would have bothered me if he told me this morning he was going to play pool with her this evening and invited me and I just couldn't go for some reason. KWIM?

LessThanZero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-think-this-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4e5b29d6-a0d0-45d6-ab93-902dd727de2bPost:91243e52-8c6f-4c7c-a42a-e16e9503c2f5">Re: Would you think this was weird?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you think this was weird? : Bahaha. Splinters in the ass are never a good thing.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

Haha, I suppose that depends on who you ask. Some people are into that type of stuff.

polichik

Yeah, I'd be annoyed about the $ thing too. DH and I are pinching pennies, so if we were going to splurge and go out, I'd want us both to benefit from it. And it would bug me that he'd called to say he'd be home and then changed his mind.

DH has never really had a close girl friend (he was really shy in HS and college), so it would actually weird me out if he suddenly had one and was hanging out with her, mostly because it would be a totally new behavior.

But ditto pp's.. Speak up for yourself, but try to stay calm and non-accusatory.

LedZeppelin

I talked to him a little bit on the phone. She was not having a bad day or anything. She just said they should go across the street to the hotel she stays at when she's in town (they work together) and play pool and have a beer. So they did and HE vented about how he's mad at his company.

I'm not really feeling any better about this situation.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-think-this-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4e5b29d6-a0d0-45d6-ab93-902dd727de2bPost:a00b7caa-786e-423b-8044-4cf32a43f675">Re: Would you think this was weird?</a>:
[QUOTE]Darlin, when he gets home, just talk to him. Tell him it bothers you that he decided to spend his time and money tonight with Leslie and not you. He's your fiance and the father of your child,<strong> it probably didn't even cross his mind that it would bother you.</strong> Just be honest, but not accusatory, as the smart people above said.
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]

You're probably right about this one. I swear, guys don't think sometimes.

KaylaSue19

I would kindly let him know the next time he has an "impulse" on the way home that an invite might be nice. Not that he can't go out without you, but if it's something you usually both enjoy doing together I think that's understandable.

Edit - I am with Mara. The statement in bold would get me even more irritated. Though I will jump on the men don't think sometimes train.

MarriedInAFever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-think-this-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4e5b29d6-a0d0-45d6-ab93-902dd727de2bPost:039bd7fc-52be-4c07-a715-49a69787836d">Re: Would you think this was weird?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Would you think this was weird? : You're probably right about this one. I swear, guys don't think sometimes.
Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]

Seriously! That's why it's important that you talk to him about WHAT bothers you and WHY it bothers you.

LessThanZero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-think-this-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4e5b29d6-a0d0-45d6-ab93-902dd727de2bPost:bc0bc49a-d05d-473b-80ec-5b5fe1640171">Re: Would you think this was weird?</a>:
[QUOTE]I talked to him a little bit on the phone. She was not having a bad day or anything. She just said they should go across the street to the hotel she stays at when she's in town (they work together) and play pool and have a beer. So they did and HE vented about how he's mad at his company. <strong>I'm not really feeling any better about this situation.</strong>
Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry Zepp. I know it feels like this pit in your stomach and it's hard not to obsess over it.

Look at it this way, if something was going on (which I know you said you don't think it would) he wouldn't have told you as many details as he did. Or at least that's what I think. If this wasn't about him being a clueless guy who acted spontaneous, I don't think he would have told you he was going to play pool with some girl, especially one you've met.

So just breathe and keep yourself busy and try not to let it bug you too much.

Start a dance party in your living room!!  : )

LedZeppelin

I should put on "Life is a Highway" Emerson loves that song and then we can both dance. haha.

NatesGirl16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-think-this-weird?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4e5b29d6-a0d0-45d6-ab93-902dd727de2bPost:f7b5d067-2835-42ec-b137-a1268339298b">Re: Would you think this was weird?</a>:
[QUOTE]I should put on "Life is a Highway" Emerson loves that song and then we can both dance. haha.
Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]
Do it! 

But seriously, I'm sorry.  I know the exact feeling you're describing and it sucks. :(. 

KaylaSue19

I love dance parties with DS. I think that's a great plan!