Pre-marriage possessions - yours or ours?

suze423

My FI thinks that everything I owned before we got together, like furniture I bought 10 years ago,  is now ours.  He even gets upset if I say somthing like "my couch" instead of "our couch."  I'm happy to share my things with him; about 95% of things in the house are mine or my dad's (it's his house, I moved in 2 years ago after he went to an assisted living facility).  Most of his furniture was in horrible condition so he didn't want to keep it anyway.

My opinion is things acquired pre-marriage are mine and his (not in a "this is mine so you can't use it" sort of way but just as far as ownership goes), things acquired  post-marriage are ours. 

Thoughts on this?

cakegirl.73

We've been living together for 3 years now and I still have a hard time calling stuff ours that use to be his..he has no problem with it. I have managed to get rid of a lot of things that were his and "her's"- xwife..lol- and he has been fine with those things going, we've replaced them with new things.

MeaghanandMichael

I am a huge fan of, "what is yours is mine and what is mine is mine." Huge.

zippityb

Any mess that is made in the house is his. Any money found in the washer/dryer becomes mine.

suze423

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_pre-marriage-possessions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5b9e1705-3770-4c25-802b-397c62fe0f9fPost:331e17d7-1b93-4b75-a895-4ee9a247b22f">Re: Pre-marriage possessions - yours or ours?</a>:
[QUOTE]I realize in a lot of peoples situations it just makes sense for one person to move into the others existing home, but I think it can be a pretty big adjustment for that person to have it feel like a home. Imagine living someplace where nothing was yours and you had someone always telling you that the items were theirs?
Posted by tamaraandrob[/QUOTE]

Exactly.  As much as we would love to have a home that is truely ours, right now it doesn't make sense.  The house we live in belongs to my dad and is paid off. The property taxes are lower than they would be on a house in our name since my dad gets discounts due to his age and veteran status.

Our situation is more difficult given the fact that this is the house I grew up in so it feels even more like my house.  FI has a 9 year old who sleeps in my childhood bedroom.  I often slip up and say "my room" instead of "Harper's room" without realizing it because it was mine for 18 years.