My Younger Niece Wants to get Married at Our House but...

Lenore2010

Okay, I know I can get some straight up thoughts on this issue here.

My neice got married this past Christmas week at our house. It was a wonderful occasion, I for one enjoyed the h-ll out of it, and a good time was had by all. Well, all except DH apparently.

Friday, my younger neice got engaged in a not unexpected move, She is a mere 20 (my bro is MUCH older than me - 18 years), but has know her fiance since they were 14. He is a same age, pre med. They are young but we are happy for them. The collage students want to get married here at our house on New Years Eve. I am great with it, but my DH is dead set against it. HATES the idea of "going through it again". Should I try to persuade him, or risk "why her and not ME" with my neice?

Family. Love them to bits but sometimes they make like a little difficult.

Mad Men is on in 12 minutes. I need some distraction because tonight this is really bugging me!

Starqueg

Why didn't your husband enjoy it the first time?  Did he get stuck doing a lot of work he didn't want, too many people, is there something specific that you can do differently this time to make him happier?

cheeseandrice

Why do they want to get married at your house? 

What did you H hate about it last time?

LetsHikeToday

I bet having a wedding at your house is a ton of work.

SereJane

I would see what specifically your h had an issue with and see if you could find a way to work around it.

annmarie714

Communication is the basis to a successful marriage.  Set an example for your neice and communicate with your husband about this issue.  And no, finding ways to "persuade" your husband is probably not a good idea.

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-younger-niece-wants-to-get-married-at-our-house-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5bb03ce1-7aa7-46e6-ae4a-abb3323b7a6ePost:f9e03ede-d152-4730-89ce-707d1ac523bb">Re: My Younger Niece Wants to get Married at Our House but...</a>:
[QUOTE]Communication is the basis to a successful marriage.  Set an example for your neice and communicate with your husband about this issue.  And no, finding ways to "persuade" your husband is probably not a good idea.
Posted by annmarie714[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, la dee daaaaaa. </div>

LetsHikeToday

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-younger-niece-wants-to-get-married-at-our-house-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5bb03ce1-7aa7-46e6-ae4a-abb3323b7a6ePost:f9e03ede-d152-4730-89ce-707d1ac523bb">Re: My Younger Niece Wants to get Married at Our House but...</a>:
[QUOTE]Communication is the basis to a successful marriage.  Set an example for your neice and communicate with your husband about this issue.  And no, finding ways to "persuade" your husband is probably not a good idea.
Posted by annmarie714[/QUOTE]
I didn't realize a marriage counselor was here.<div>
</div><div>Any- Love the new pic. :-)</div>

ricksang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-younger-niece-wants-to-get-married-at-our-house-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5bb03ce1-7aa7-46e6-ae4a-abb3323b7a6ePost:f9e03ede-d152-4730-89ce-707d1ac523bb">Re: My Younger Niece Wants to get Married at Our House but...</a>:
[QUOTE]Communication is the basis to a successful marriage.  Set an example for your neice and communicate with your husband about this issue.  And no, finding ways to "persuade" your husband is probably not a good idea.
Posted by annmarie714[/QUOTE]
Great generic advice!

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_my-younger-niece-wants-to-get-married-at-our-house-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5bb03ce1-7aa7-46e6-ae4a-abb3323b7a6ePost:b2ebc4ea-af88-4806-9d91-b18fcf4863a9">Re: My Younger Niece Wants to get Married at Our House but...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Younger Niece Wants to get Married at Our House but... : Great generic advice!
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

<div>I think I'm going to write down all of these we get on a slip of paper, and then reply to threads for a week with nothing but what I pull out of a hat. I bet it'd work pretty well.</div>

ricksang

You should, Any.


 I need a good recipe for a cheese cake! Hey there a some really good recipes on the internet!

I think my husband is cheating on me, what should I do? You should ask him if he's cheating on you. Married people aren't supposed to cheat on each other.

Anysunrise

Lolol. Yeah, I'm definitely doing this at some point.

ricksang

You should. I might too. It's important to annoy theshit out of people every now and then.

Anysunrise

You should try redirecting the conversation. "Have you tried the bean dip?"

ricksang

OMG love this idea. I though about posting about the same subject for a week but this is a better idea.

[Deleted User]

It sounds like a huge PITA and I would probably feel the way your husband does. If he is dead set against it, I wouldn't force him. And hi Lenore!

Summer2011Bride

OP, honestly I would probably feel like your H. Throwing a wedding at your house had to be a TON of work and something that you might only want to go through once. I would talk to your H about what specificially he did not want to re-do and if it's something easily fixable, like "I hated that we had a huge mess we had to clean up the next day," maybe you could compromise (this time hire people to clean up, etc).

If you decide to not throw this niece's wedding at your house, I don't think it's playing favorites. If she asks/complains (which would be rude to complain anyway), you could just explain that throwing a wedding at your home was a ton of work, more than expected, and you aren't able to do it again, esp. in the span of a year, but you're very happy for her and are excited to attend her wedding.

skippylouwho

You must have a heck of a house if both of them want their weddings there.

That might sound snotty but I don't mean it that way. You must have a really nice home that they both want to have weddings there and that's a real compliment to you.

Lenore2010

Thanks to mess ups with TK, this thread seemed to disappear after I posted it so I did not check back for replies. Thank you everyone. Oh, and hi CEW!

My husband did not like the big crowd, and some of the work pure and simple. A lot of people and noise for a lot of days and he is not a big extrovert, really. Well, fast forwarding DH gave this as his reason and when I said yesterday that if he felt uncomfortable we would not do it, he said he wanted to do it after all. He decided that it was pretty great she wants to have the wedding here, and said that we could make things easier to handle by hiring some more help for the event. He did not like that I was cleaning for days before and after, and that he shampooed every carpet in the house before and after, and so on. Seems to me that nmore help will increase the human traffic, but hey I will go with what he wants here.

Who said something about communication? We communicate pretty well most of the time. I don't try to persuade him on much very often - helll as an attorney I get tired of that at work as it is, but I have a big soft spot for my youngest neice. I am glad DH decided all on his own that he was good with the wedding. Guess our New Year's plans are made!

cheeseandrice

Is your niece paying you at all? It's hard if there's already the prescendent with the first nice, I guess. But what if you ask her to pay to have someone come clean the house ahead of time? That would still be far less than paying for an actual rental. (And TBH, I would assume I'd help prepare the venue if I was using a relative's home.)

Lenore2010

Yea, Steph I am going to ask her to pitch in on that.  My older neice handed us plane tickets to Chicago and a gift card for Sea Change here in Minneapolis as a thank you, which was very unexpected and much appreciated by us. Younger neice is already taking a 25% larger guest list, at least among other add ons so I think it would be fine to ask.

cheeseandrice

I think that's totally fair. I mean, even if money doesn't matter (I don't think that's why you're doing it).  At least then she's contributing, which might help ease the annoyance. More of a principle of the matter kind of thing.

cheeseandrice

BTW, I'm super nosey what your house is like now

Do you have any pictures from your first niece's wedding?