Who am I?

ReneeJacob

Wedding is in 10 days and I'm seriously acting/feeling like a different person...I'm looking for reassurance that this is normal? If not, thats fine maybe its just my pms For example, I move into FIs house this weekend and I've asked him to clear out a few of his dresser drawers for me. He still hasnt and he suggested I get my own dresser. I cried. To me, that means he isnt making room for me and isnt excited about me moving in.

He said he is going to work on Friday the day before our wedding. I panicked. So much is going on the day before and it means everything to me that he takes that day off. He agreed but was not nice about it. I cried. To me, that means he isnt doing things that he knows are important to me.

Dude...how ridiculous am I being?? Last time I cried was probably 2 years ago when my cat died. But now I'm crying at the drop of a dime and want to punch everything...including my FI.

staceytaylor0704

I cry when I get stressed out.. You could be stressed about the changes happening, and not even realize it, ya know?

I think he is right about having your own dresser though. I know I couldn't share mine with FI. lol

AllAboutTheBenjamin

You're stressed.  Relaaaaaax.  You should communicate your feelings, or interpretations of your FI's actions, accurately and you two should talk it out.  I'm sure he's not trying to make you feel this way on purpose.

ichellemay1

PMS makes everything more vivid...  Good stuff - way better.  Bad stuff - way worse.  Plus, you have the wedding stress throw in for good measure.  I agree with PP - relax and have a heart to heart with your FI. 

sarah0725

I think you're okay - it will all be over soon.

We all get into these irrational moments sometimes. You're about to pledge the rest of your life to this man, and thus it makes sense that every little thing he does seems magnified right now. FI and I just moved in together, and I'm having some trouble adjusting to being out here, and sometimes I have crazy thoughts like "How can I think of having CHILDREN with a man who can't CLOSE the CABINETS???" But then I realize those thoughts are crazy.

So don't beat yourself up, and realize that most of these crazy thoughts you're having are due to nerves. And take care of yourself.

ReneeJacob

Thanks everyone! You are right...pms does compound emotions, and men don't truly understand everything involved in a wedding. I will cut him some slack and try to be nicer. And maybe.....I will think of using my own dresser

Simply Fated

Whoopsies, looks like you forgot how to breathe. You have to exhale after you inhale, silly! Then you inhale again. Then exhale. Repeat as desired.

I would definitely sit and talk with him before you lose your mind lol.

What is it exactly that you need him to do on the day before your wedding? Maybe if you discussed that with him, maybe he'll start to understand that you need help.

And don't feel bad... One of my teachers worked the day OF his wedding. True story. We knew he was getting married, so we were all expected a free period, but  there he was, ready to teach away lol.

ReneeJacob

Simply Fated - that Friday I will be dropping my car off at the house (which he needs to park in the garage for me - its a weird angle), he has company coming into town to stay there, he is always exhausted on work days because he gets up at 4a.m. and...he has a really dangerous job so I don't want to risk anything happening that day. Or ever. But especially that day. I guess I just want him to be relaxed and ready for the rehearsal/dinner, etc. If he could work the day of the wedding I'm sure he would!

jcbsjr - haha, okay I guess its not that bad

Chi_Chi

I didn't lay my eyes on J the day of our wedding. I have no clue what he did all day. I just know he got his hair done and was on time and dressed. He didn't work, but if he had wanted to, I wouldn't have cared. Would I have thought he was insane? Yes, but it's his decision. Maybe he wants to keep him mind occupied and busy the day of so he isn't a nervous wreck? At this point, just go with the flow. Everything will work out.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:61ef0f7c-ba42-4245-9ba7-c8f9e573d14dPost:3e9fe80c-ebe3-495c-b383-8d1674691d77">Re: Who am I?</a>:
[QUOTE]Simply Fated - that Friday I will be dropping my car off at the house (which he needs to park in the garage for me - its a weird angle), he has company coming into town to stay there, he is always exhausted on work days because he gets up at 4a.m. and...he has a really dangerous job so I don't want to risk anything happening that day. Or ever. But especially that day. I guess I just want him to be relaxed and ready for the rehearsal/dinner, etc. If he could work the day of the wedding I'm sure he would! jcbsjr - haha, okay I guess its not that bad
Posted by ReneeJacob[/QUOTE]
It looks to me like the only chore you have for him to do during the day is to park your car in his garage.... did I read that right?
Of course you want him to be safe and well rested every day, but what if he gets badly injured parking your car in the garage? ;)
It might be important to you for him to take off that day, but it might be important for him to work that day. Maybe as a compromise, he can try to come home early?

katiewhompus

Maybe his boss wouldn't let him have that day off? It's always a possibility. And my interpretation of him not moving his stuff out of the drawers is that he's a guy and thought he was being nice by suggesting you have your own space. Trust me, after the first 6 months in the same house you will love having your own dresser

I still cry every once in a while over stupid shiit, especially if I'm tired or frustrated. The other day I ran an errand for my mom and it took me 2 hours to get home. I thought about all the things I had to do and started crying in the kitchen. H found me and asked what was wrong "I HAVE SO MUCH to do and I can't get it all done and I wanted to get it all done" "Ok what do you have to do?" "I have to make the bed and do laundry and cook dinner and change Diamond's cage and vacuum!"
He's learned to work with my crazy (and help with chores when I get insane)

ReneeJacob

Simply Fated  - lol, um yes I think you did read that right. Maybe there isn't SO much to do after all. For some reason I just dont want him to go to work that day! Hmm.

katiewhompus - I seriously think we are related.

mica001 - thanks, I just might do that

katiewhompus

I just about killed H the day before the wedding. We were supposed to be in my parent's city (1 hour away from our apt) at 2pm to finish up a lot of stuff. I ended up leaving our apt at 3pm after leaving him there, because he and his friend still hadn't picked up his friend's tux. I told him "The only thing you need to do is remember your Dress Blues". Yeah, guess what he forgot? Luckily his friend was still in the apt and brought them with him.

barbbhoww

I acted REALLY weird right before the wedding too.  It was stress, excitement and a weird vibe that I am totally changing my life (in a good way, but still) in a week or two.  Trust me, it gets better. 

missy68

The only walk-away from each other fight we had was the day before. He was frustrated and I was indecisive. The day of, however, we slept in, had brunch with my aunt and uncle (whom he'd never met) - champagne brunch, nonetheless, then I took my stuff over to my parents' suite to get ready. He showered, hit the bar for a couple of drinks, then after I left, he and my brother and dad had a couple of drinks together. All was cool.

Packing and the trip there? A nightmare.

Cleaning out drawer space is like for a girlfriend. You need a real dresser of your own - after all, you will be a permanent resident and need permanent space! Men's minds work in a different way and process things differently than ours - not a bad thing, but just differently. That's where effective communication comes in to play Good luck!