Dear Coworkers,

MeaghanandMichael

When you make coffee and miss the filter when spooning in coffee, the grounds then filter into the coffeepot and make me gag. How hard is it to make coffee? You are dumb.

Also, I waited for you all last night to finish your work so I could do mine. Now you don't bother to show up today. I need to ask you 384389 questions on your half assed work. Annoyed.

Love and kisses,
Meaghan

J&K10910

Oh, is it my turn?

Dear coworker,
I hate you.  I really do.  I hate when you take 8 smoke breaks and I can't even go pee until I've been at work for 6 hours.  I hate when you disappear when shiit goes down.  I hate how you always reek like cigarettes.  I hate how you sit at our meetings and pretend everyone doesn't hate you and that you're always right.  I hate how you lie to everyone's faces.  I hate how you make things unsafe and make me want to stab myself in the face with rusty railroad ties.  Please go away before someone dies.

Love,
J.

shellydiane820

At least you don't have a mail man that tells you about his latest colonoscopy.  I'd take coffe grinds any day!

MeaghanandMichael

Ew. Yeah, I get more bizarre conversations than gross ones around here. For example, all the kitchen guys were fighting on Tuesday about where the best weed comes from. They were all, "well in MY country" and then it turned into where the best coffee comes from and the best women. Ah the finer things in life.

missy68

Dear Coworkers,

How about making your OWN coffee and cleaning up when you spill? I don't drink it, I shouldn't have to make it for you.... I'm not your momma, and I'm not old enough to BE your momma! I know I "have" to get it ready to go for first thing it the morning, I've accepted that.
And oh yeah - putting the coffee into a filter and NOT putting it into the basket? Waste of a filter. And stupid.

Dear Neurologist,
Thanks for taking me seriously yesterday. And next Tuesday? PLEASE don't make this test hurt too much. And please do whatever will fix this problem. You do the best you can with my migraines - they are "normal" 9 months out of the year, so - good job. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

jasmineh7777

Dear Boss,
 You are a creepy little hobbit. Stop talking to me. I know you're only standing in front of my desk so you can stare at my chest. Every time I hear you jingling down the hall, I imagine tripping you and watching you flail on the ground. Please waddle on back to your hole in the wall.
Sincerely,
 the student who is about to freak the fuuck out on you.

BecW2be

Dear Co-worker,

When I sent you the list of 30 products that are not even in your system that I need price increases for, that was not an invitation for you to send me different spreadsheet of thousands of products, telling me to "see if the ones you need are here." FUUck you. If you got all butthurt by me emailing back telling you I'm not doing your job, and that I need a list of the specific 30 products I need pricing for, you are in for a world of hurt when I miss this deadline and send every person who comes to me asking why to your desk.

Oh! P.S. You are pushing 50. Take off those stupid fucking silly bandz. Idiot.

jennylove810

Dear Boss,

Promotions director =/= 'person who does everything that is not specifically assigned to a specific person.'  I am not the bitchgirl around the station.  And don't take 5 minutes typing up an email to me about something that will take 3 minutes to complete.  Don't do this several times a day.  Just freakin do it yourself.

And while you're at it, give me a raise.

Please and thank you,
Jenny

MeaghanandMichael

J, clearly you just need to start smoking cigs.

Mag, five weeks? what the? where did she go?

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-coworkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a3316ac-372f-41d1-a59e-b45691dd32f0Post:6071190a-12ad-4876-a655-881d27d713e5">Re: Dear Coworkers,</a>:
[QUOTE]J, clearly you just need to start smoking cigs. Mag, five weeks? what the? where did she go?
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

You know, it's a sad day when it makes sense to give myself cancer just so I can get a damn break.

MeaghanandMichael

Jenny. That is my work life word.for.word. Although you need to throw in a part there about not fully thinking through the logic of the requests they throw at me so more time is wasted explaining to my coworkers why their ideas are too dumb to work.

jennylove810

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-coworkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a3316ac-372f-41d1-a59e-b45691dd32f0Post:3bb9219b-2c2f-4422-a784-0d5cd0058c41">Re: Dear Coworkers,</a>:
[QUOTE]Jenny. That is my work life word.for.word. Although you need to throw in a part there about not fully thinking through the logic of the requests they throw at me so more time is wasted explaining to my coworkers why their ideas are too dumb to work.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

Are we too old for Thirsty Thursday?  I might need to bring it back tonight...

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-coworkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a3316ac-372f-41d1-a59e-b45691dd32f0Post:ca9bea7b-36a1-4146-bd23-45b2be6c3133">Re: Dear Coworkers,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear Coworkers, : Are we too old for Thirsty Thursday?  I might need to bring it back tonight...
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

I went out last night.  Technically, this week it was my Thursday, though it's usually my Friday.  So I say go for it.

SarahPLiz

Dear Student Activities Director:
Making the orientation scavenger hunt clue to find our office read "When you come through our do', we hope you ain't po', you better pay your bill, or we'll break your knee caps"  is so not cool. Having it brough to my attention by the print shop is even worse.

I hope you liked having your ass handed to you by my VP yesterday. You had better be thankful your VP is on vacation or you might not have a job.

Your friend,
The Director of Accounting and Student Accounts

P.S. Do it again and I'll break your knee caps.

MeaghanandMichael

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dear-coworkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6a3316ac-372f-41d1-a59e-b45691dd32f0Post:ca9bea7b-36a1-4146-bd23-45b2be6c3133">Re: Dear Coworkers,</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dear Coworkers, : Are we too old for Thirsty Thursday?  I might need to bring it back tonight...
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

No m'am, not at all. In fact, I think plans are in the works!

SarahPLiz

Oh, really! Then he tried to blame it on a student. Dude, you are supposed to SUPERVISE the students. That means edit them so that they project the Christian mission of the school. Let the kids at least get here before you try to turn them against us. Yes, I am a hardass, but I am not the Godfather an my staff are not my henchmen. Plus, bad grammar on orientation materials does not project an academic focus either. Think, people. That's all I ask.

goheels05

Oh gosh I am really thankful for my coworkers today.  Yours all suck. 

MeaghanandMichael

Heelsy, I missed your will and testament thread (gl with that by the way!) but maybe your coworkers would be willing to leavve that bottle of booze that was in the employee fridge? We would deifnitely drink that in your honor.

jasmineh7777

Missy- Are they doing something for your migraines?

[Deleted User]

Dear Coworker,
Please buy some Head & Shoulders. The white flakes on your shoulders make me gag. And while you're at it, do a load of laundry because you've worn those pants every day this week.

[Deleted User]

Sort of random, but...

Dear H,
I'm glad that it makes you happy to bake a pizza in the middle of the night, but why do you have to top it with ass? Our entire house smells like a burnt nightmare now.
Love,
CEW

missy68

Jasmineh - no; the cyclical phase is pretty much over. Now it's just "normal" occurring ones.
They are trying to figure out why my right leg is numb on the outside from about halfway down from my knee (has been for a couple of months) and across my foot now towards my big toe (new). I fell a couple of times last month because my right ankle just gave out and the doc noticed oddities in the gait tests and reflex tests.

deepcovejackie

Dear people of the hospital:

No, I can't see 5 patients at once.  Not every referral can possibly be the emergency that you say it is.  Not all of them.  Stop paging me, it doesn't make me work faster to have to stop and answer your 56,843 pages per hour.  I only need to hear about it once.  I'm not stupid.

Besos,  Jackie

katiewhompus

Dear Coworker, telling a teacher "It's so easy even I can figure it out" when you are tech support is not encouraging the teacher, just pointing out how stupid you are. I'm sorry that apparently the concept of a hard reboot, or plugging in a cord are too technical for your abilities, but guess what, your job is to know this shiit. I fear for the state of east coast every time you talk about how when you worked for Verizon you personally did the wiring on most of the major buildings. You can't figure out how to connect a monitor to a cpu, how thefuck did you manager to run wires through a huge building?