In a tricky pickle

tonyscutieest09

My exIL's and I were very close and while we aren't as close as we were I am friends with a lot of them on Facebook and we chat regulary. They know I am in a realtionship so announcing my engagement won't be coming out of left field but I was wondering if I should let them know privately first?

 They are truely good people, who have stood by me through thick and thin, so I know they won't be upset by the annoucement, but maybe by how they hear about it.

J&K10910

Hehehe tricky pickle.

[Deleted User]

Cookie cake. I always vote cookie cake.

J&K10910

Seriously though, I think if you chat regularly, I'd bring it up to them then.  If you only communicate through occasional wall posts and stuff though, I'd say let them find out when the rest of the FB world does.  I wouldn't block them from the announcement (they'll find out eventually) or go way out of your way to let them know either.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

If you are close with them, a phone call or private message wouldn't be too out of line.

I dated my ex-boyfriend for six years, and began dating my fiance immediately afterward - so his family wasn't that impressed with me.  I didn't call or email them to tell them about my engagement, and ended up just deleting them off my facebook a few months ago.

But that's a whole different situation.  If you're on good terms with them - they'll probably be excited for you and would appreciate you letting them know before announcing it to the world on facebook.

J&K10910

(ppssssttt, you forgot the "cew's a megabitch" option)

Jesus, I guess I'm posting too much for TK.  WTF TK, everyone wants to know what I have to say.  DON'T HOLD ME BACK!

SCBojangles1138

No worries. If it comes up in convo before you post on FB ok and if it doesn't, just the FB announcement will be ok. Tip toeing around may be well intentioned but easily misunderstood.

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tricky-pickle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7025d2db-48be-4467-8106-09572b96f6c7Post:2fc4320c-a27f-42f4-b90b-82c3826458c2">Re: In a tricky pickle</a>:
[QUOTE](ppssssttt, you forgot the "cew's a megabitch" option) Jesus, I guess I'm posting too much for TK.  WTF TK, everyone wants to know what I have to say.  DON'T HOLD ME BACK!
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Ha! "You have posted too many things too quickly" message got ya?

If you are friends with them in the area where you talk to them about major events, illnesses, etc then I would let them know in advanced. If you are friends where they wish you happy birthday via facebook and just "like" things on your wall, they can find out with everyone else.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tricky-pickle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7025d2db-48be-4467-8106-09572b96f6c7Post:79c06217-70a6-49a6-9a8d-4d59b2983003">Re: In a tricky pickle</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: In a tricky pickle : Ha! "You have posted too many things too quickly" message got ya?[/QUOTE]

That message always makes me feel like a loser.

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tricky-pickle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:7025d2db-48be-4467-8106-09572b96f6c7Post:f1c6881b-993f-462b-bcc9-c4659a34bc70">Re: In a tricky pickle</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: In a tricky pickle : That message always makes me feel like a loser.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

This message always makes me feel like TK Big Brother is trying to tell me I should think faster to make it all into one post instead of being too stupid to think of it all at once. 

Don't boss me!

katiewhompus

It just catches me because I have E and SB open on two separate tabs so if they are both hopping I post a lot and quickly.

I also see Bojangles point. If they ask how your relationship is or if anything new is happening saying "It's great, I'm actually engaged" but if you contact them out of the blue saying you are engaged they may take it weird.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I would let all my close friends and family know privately. If you consider them to be in the circle, let them know by email. If not, let them know when everyone else finds out.

talpins101511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tricky-pickle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7025d2db-48be-4467-8106-09572b96f6c7Post:886cf3e0-0c1f-46ea-a39f-6cc2cca2e828">Re: In a tricky pickle</a>:
[QUOTE]I would let all my close friends and family know privately. If you consider them to be in the circle, let them know by email. If not, let them know when everyone else finds out.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I agree!

mysticl

My FI has the same situation.  As he says he got his ILs in the divorce.  Anyhow he now lives a few thousand miles away from them so most contact is via FB.  The day he proposed he changed his status to "engaged" (after we called our mothers).  They posted only positive comments and his former MIL and FIL sent us an engagement card saying they would like to meet me someday.