Favorite dirty lines

hetshup

Since my board is dead, and this board is full of dirty minds


What is your favorite inappropriate/ dirty comeback to things people say?

I like:

"My lips are chapped"

'You should stop wearing skirts on windy days"


And

As I told my bridesmaids, "As long as you don't need two hair styles, that dress is fine."


Now you go!

zippityb

That's what she said.

Anysunrise

Just like your mother.

JenGin74

I don't really have any favorites. Whatever pops in my head at the moment is usually what comes out of my mouth.

maratea

"I took H out for dinner last night."

"I took your mother out to dinner last night."

Also, I thought this was going to be something more along of the lines of dirty pick-up lines and I was all excited to share mine.

hetshup

Mara- I would love to hear your dirty pick up lines.

Gen-- That's what she said! Giggity

LedZeppelin

Mara, I think you should share them anyway.

maratea

Ahem,

"Girl you are like a large mouth bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you."

"Do you raise chickens, because you sure made my c0ck grow."

LessThanZero

This isn't really dirty but I often yell "DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT" to just about anything I feel like.

It really keeps people on their toes.

Y I Oughta

All I got is that a friend once asked me in the middle of the grocery store how to pick out a toothbrush.

My response was "you have to look at the size and whether it's hard or soft." the four men in the aisle busted out laughing.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_favorite-dirty-lines?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:71c11036-1333-40db-8e07-8094c5a39f2aPost:92bc8e8f-ebaa-46dc-9ac5-1d2fa617711f">Re: Favorite dirty lines</a>:
[QUOTE]Ahem, "Girl you are like a large mouth bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you."<strong> "Do you raise chickens, because you sure made my c0ck grow."</strong>
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

I wish I was a guy, so that I could say this to someone.

SCBojangles1138

Anything from SNL's Jeopardy but especially "The Pen Is Mightier"

slubkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_favorite-dirty-lines?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:71c11036-1333-40db-8e07-8094c5a39f2aPost:92bc8e8f-ebaa-46dc-9ac5-1d2fa617711f">Re: Favorite dirty lines</a>:
[QUOTE]Ahem, "Girl you are like a large mouth bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you." "Do you raise chickens, because you sure made my c0ck grow."
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]
"Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can sure see myself in your pants."

"That sweater is very becoming on you.  Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming too."

Y I Oughta

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_favorite-dirty-lines?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:71c11036-1333-40db-8e07-8094c5a39f2aPost:6bb34545-ee99-4dd9-9306-84729fe2fddb">Re: Favorite dirty lines</a>:
[QUOTE]This isn't really dirty but I often yell "DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT" to just about anything I feel like. It really keeps people on their toes.
Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

Your sig is cute but at the same time kind of freaking me out.

jessienjeremy

I always say "Dollar"

As in if I had a dollar for everytime someone said that...

Only a few select knows what It means so sometimes I say it and people are like.. uh WTF

hetshup

Jessie- Where is your bio? I need to stalk it.

LessThanZero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_favorite-dirty-lines?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:71c11036-1333-40db-8e07-8094c5a39f2aPost:14b43016-223a-4482-ae1c-7c97971b2550">Re: Favorite dirty lines</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Favorite dirty lines : Your sig is cute but at the same time kind of freaking me out.
Posted by Y I Oughta[/QUOTE]


Read this and you'll change your mind. I promise.

<a href="http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/10/god-of-cake.html" rel="nofollow">http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/10/god-of-cake.html</a>

SCBojangles1138

Ok for you NCIS fans out here, here's another one from last night: "I think if you want to get something out of your pants, you need to take it out yourself."

Y I Oughta

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_favorite-dirty-lines?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:71c11036-1333-40db-8e07-8094c5a39f2aPost:eef481db-c1bd-4420-b524-b2c50bbc96a7">Re: Favorite dirty lines</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Favorite dirty lines : Read this and you'll change your mind. I promise. <a href="http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/10/god-of-cake.html" rel="nofollow">http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/10/god-of-cake.html</a>
Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

That's awesome. I find it funnier because whenever we have cake around my nephew and I do the Cake cake cake song all around the house until somebody gets the hint and we eat the cake. My nephew is good at getting overly excited about cake to the point that he starts yelling the cake song and ruins any possibility of a surprise for the intended cake recipient.

I am done with the thread jacking now.

jessienjeremy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_favorite-dirty-lines?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:71c11036-1333-40db-8e07-8094c5a39f2aPost:1c20b968-72a6-4734-9ef0-1c6df8f11534">Re: Favorite dirty lines</a>:
[QUOTE]Jessie- Where is your bio? I need to stalk it.
Posted by hetshup[/QUOTE]

I didn't know I didn't have one.. I will work on that for you.