Update on me, since I couldnt get back to respond last night.

sarabear23

H and I talked a lot last night. A LOT. I wont go into everything that was said, but I didn't expect a lot of it.
It got to the point where H wasn't sure if he wanted to try and work it out, even though I did. His parents talked to both of us, and helped us realize that it will get better from here. So we spent the night apart, and plan to work on out relationship from here. He's going to make more time for me, and I'm going to adjust some of the things I do that have been bothering him.

Thank all of you so much for everything you said. I can't tell you how much I appriciate it, its nice to have someone else input on whats going on. So, thank you, you guys are awesome.

kd.joseph

Wow Sara, I'm sorry you are having issues. I want to say it's the usual adjustment to one another after marriage. And I hope it is. I'm glad that you two have talked and are working on things. But I think you need to seek some counseling, maybe someone at the church. It bothers me that he would be willing to throw in the towel so soon after marriage.

I don't mean to scare you or anything, I just think some guys get married and think it's ok to just continue as if they didn't get married. Keep us updated, ok?

[Deleted User]

I'm glad you guys talked and are working things out. I'm sorry it got to that point that your H said that. Personally I think it's a selfish thing to say when the other person is only looking for a way to make things better, but then again I only know what you've said here so I can't base that on anything valid.

Good luck! It's good that it's all out in the open, you know?

sarabear23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_update-couldnt-back-respond-last-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:72359159-2a9f-4adc-bec6-3954b4d869a9Post:e4f43919-d757-4f93-854f-c35cf855ba6c">Re: Update on me, since I couldnt get back to respond last night.</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow Sara, I'm sorry you are having issues. I want to say it's the usual adjustment to one another after marriage. And I hope it is. I'm glad that you two have talked and are working on things. But I think you need to seek some counseling, maybe someone at the church. It bothers me that he would be willing to throw in the towel so soon after marriage. I don't mean to scare you or anything, I just think some <strong>guys get married and think it's ok to just continue as if they didn't get married</strong>. Keep us updated, ok?
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

I mentioned counseling to him, and it's something he is willing to do if we decide thats what we need.
 Thats what I've been feeling like hes doing. I don't think its his intention to do so, but he likes to be involved in things, and he doesnt realize that he cant just go back to how it was before.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_update-couldnt-back-respond-last-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:72359159-2a9f-4adc-bec6-3954b4d869a9Post:a8985d4f-dd6a-444d-a8ab-63c8505a7730">Re: Update on me, since I couldnt get back to respond last night.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Update on me, since I couldnt get back to respond last night. : I mentioned counseling to him, and it's something he is willing to do if we decide thats what we need.  Thats what I've been feeling like hes doing. I don't think its his intention to do so, but he likes to be involved in things, and he doesnt realize that he cant just go back to how it was before.
Posted by sarabear23[/QUOTE]

And I get this. Some men just  dont get it, and it takes a kick in the head. Thats why I think guidance from someone at church or therapist can make him understand that it's ok to have a life outside of marriage. But you cant neglect the other person in the relationship. It's just not ok.

I know you are going to school and all, but is there anyway you can get involved in some of these activities, as a couple?

MISSCOURTNEY20

Can you get involved in the church as well? I am sure they would welcome you as their pastor's wife.