Open letters, bitchin'

MarriedInAFever

Anyone feel like doing an open letters/bitchin' thread?

Dear Anthem,

PLEEEEEEASE DON'T DENY ME INSURANCE COVERAGE!

Dear Indiana Lottery,

Please pick me.

Hugs and kisses,

Farrah

Night_Sprite

Dear Crazy Ass Bus Lady,

WTF were you so racist and talking to me in front of lots of racial groups?  You make me feel really really awky.

Dislike,

Amber

maratea

Dear Self,

Why did you have to go and dislocate your shoulder? Now you've only got one arm. And this sling is itchy, plus the vicodin makes me feel even itchier.

Netflix,

Please get some new stuff on Instant Play. I'm far too impatient to wait for a real DVD.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I bitched about this earlier today on my month board but it bears repeating:

Dear Dental Hygienist -

You suck ... you're supposed to scrape my teeth, not my gums. 

Kthanksbai.

-dani

Also I'm pissed off in general because my computer is being a diva about what audio files to open and which ones to completely melt down over - and these are files I'm working on that have nothing to do with my job, because I can't say no to my boss.  Also, boss: tic tacs.  Gum.  SOMETHING.  I can smell your breath ten feet away.

loop0406

Dear Director at my Job,

Why can't you see I do all the work for the department? So fire my lazy ass boss who gives me all her work anyways and give me a BIG raise and promotion, don't you see I'm engaged and have expenses ?


Loop0406

[Deleted User]

Dear neighbor,

Please stop calling me so much. I like you, but I just really don't need to talk to you every day. We are not in Junior High. I don't want to talk to you on my neon light up phone for two hours every night. The thought of that makes me want to stab my ears with a safety pen.

Love,
CEW

anna.oskar

Dear people of earth,

If you don't like me, please tell me why.  i'm genuinely curious.  I don't know how much more job rejection and friends dropping off the face of the earth I can take.  Unless i get feedback, i'm going to keep stabbing my self-esteem over this and i'm afraid it is already wounded.

Thanks!
Anna

MarriedInAFever

What the f, Mara? What did you do?

Night_Sprite

Hey Guys,

Cew has a neon light up phone. She told me.

Night_Sprite

Anna!  Come to DSM and go to the REN FEST with us!

tidetravel

Hold up.  Did someone say RENNFEST?!  Ours starts this weekend.  Eeek!

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:d4e5de80-dee6-40cd-bc83-dc880cabef12">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]What the f, Mara? What did you do?
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]
It's almost too stupid to tell. I was reaching for noodles on the top shelf of the cupboard and I just moved my arm too quickly. Then all I remember is the worst pain in my life. It felt like I was slowly dying from my shoulder down. So I ended up in the ER at 11:20 Monday night and left around 2:40. It was lovely.

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:caea850b-2ea9-45cb-9410-8056123d0992">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]Anna!  Come to DSM and go to the REN FEST with us!
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]

Can't.  we just got back from a vacation and i'm on a spending freeze.  i may have spent a tiny bit over our budget  in the hills.  Darn tourist traps and christmas store!  But I did get a spiffy new christmas ornament.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:aabd84d3-3d5a-4851-a13d-3e1093da50a7">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear people of earth, If you don't like me, please tell me why.  i'm genuinely curious.  I don't know how much more job rejection and friends dropping off the face of the earth I can take.  Unless i get feedback, i'm going to keep stabbing my self-esteem over this and i'm afraid it is already wounded. Thanks! Anna
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

Dear Anna,
I love you. If I had a job in your area, I'd give it to you. And if I lived closer, I would take you out on a girl date.
Love,
CEW

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:e0c2507f-0580-4866-8c1b-aebc108fc666">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]Hold up.  Did someone say RENNFEST?!  Ours starts this weekend.  Eeek!
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]
We can emote excessively together.  I'M SO EXCITED!

MarriedInAFever

Ohhhh noooo, Mara! You poor thing!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:8478209e-118b-49a0-b50f-2e0d46f6cb4b">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters, bitchin' : It's almost too stupid to tell. I was reaching for noodles on the top shelf of the cupboard and I just moved my arm too quickly. Then all I remember is the worst pain in my life. It felt like I was slowly dying from my shoulder down. So I ended up in the ER at 11:20 Monday night and left around 2:40. It was lovely.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

Ooooh. That's so awful. That sucks. I hate the ER with a passion. Are you still in a lot of pain?

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:514068c4-bc26-4b8d-abbc-259fd177375a">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters, bitchin' : We can emote excessively together.  I'M SO EXCITED!
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]

I want pics, and I want them of you in a tightly cinched leather corset with your bewbs pushed up to your chin.  I will not, however, tell you what I want them for.

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:fb8d1449-9e66-46ed-99b1-67158e408c9b">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters, bitchin' : I want pics, and I want them of you in a tightly cinched leather corset with your bewbs pushed up to your chin.  I will not, however, tell you what I want them for.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]
I don't own one of those.  I anticipate looking really really bad in one.  I would also not have a face anymore because there would only be boobs in its place.

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:4fecaac5-fca7-444d-b431-a0dda829a456">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters, bitchin' : Dear Anna, I love you. If I had a job in your area, I'd give it to you. And if I lived closer, I would take you out on a girl date. Love, CEW
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

i like girl dates.  Maybe if we move we can have that date.

stephl3055

MIAF,

You look like a friend of mine.  See?



That is all.

Me

MarriedInAFever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:750246b0-4659-41dd-a4b2-86aa73acb8b4">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]MIAF, You look like a friend of mine.  See? That is all. Me
Posted by steph 13055[/QUOTE]

I think she's really pretty. So, thank you!

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:57aa5751-b7df-4e59-bedb-d5f2c8449def">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters, bitchin' : I don't own one of those.  I anticipate looking really really bad in one. <strong> I would also not have a face anymore because there would only be boobs in its place</strong>.
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]

This is acceptable.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:ad695a77-05d0-4b4c-aaf1-cdf470b7430e">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters, bitchin' : i like girl dates.  Maybe if we move we can have that date.
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

Yessss! What will we do on our girl date?

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:0fa4689d-991a-46af-8635-e04a2a51451b">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters, bitchin' : Ooooh. That's so awful. That sucks. I hate the ER with a passion. Are you still in a lot of pain?
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
It hurts but I'm dealing with it. I'm not going to take anymore vicodin though because it makes me itchy.

staceytaylor0704

Dear "friend",
Please get over yourself. You have no idea how selfish and immature you appear by breaking off ties with me because I didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid.
Sincerely,
Your sad pal
P.S. Its also incredibly rude to confront someone and ask them why you weren't asked, just FYI.

Dear Autumn,
Please come back soon. I miss you-its been too long! You should stay awhile when you do come back around.
Thanks,
Stacey

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:1d3078da-e26f-4382-9f34-7c26796993a4">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters, bitchin' : This is acceptable.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]
Your motives seem nefarious.

jennylove810

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:64a5a25d-cc2b-45e0-8670-6127f3f708ca">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters, bitchin' : It hurts but I'm dealing with it. I'm not going to take anymore vicodin though because it makes me itchy.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

Sell it and get something for all your pain and suffering :-P

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:ac4bf714-d040-45b3-a004-5df5ae092697">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters, bitchin' : Your motives seem nefarious.
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]
<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
As your sister wife, I'm entitled to look at your bewbs any time I want.  It was in the marriage contract.  You should have read the fine print.

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:d0b1ff19-883d-4ae1-9c8a-1e080d565a13">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters, bitchin' : Yessss! What will we do on our girl date?
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]



Good food,
people watching,
stage an alien abduction in a local park and put it on youtube,
make up a secret language and speak to each other loudly in public,
buy heelies &skate around fancy stores whenever the employees aren't looking,
have a burping contest,
get makeovers at a mall cosmetic counter - tell them we want whore-esque

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_open-letters-bitchin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:79cb586d-0bbd-4559-ac5a-ce0d7f9d15eePost:e0c2507f-0580-4866-8c1b-aebc108fc666">Re: Open letters, bitchin'</a>:
[QUOTE]Hold up.  Did someone say RENNFEST?!  Ours starts this weekend.  Eeek!
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]


You should get taryn  some Renn-garb.  My niece has been doing it since she was 2 months old and loves it!

She's even friends with faeries