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In honor of B's AE....

Did you have any guests/ +1's that you really really did not want to invite? What happened?

I'll admit that I pulled the biitch card on one of my friends bfs. I had lived with him in college and we had a very bad past, not romantically, but shiit he did to my stuff, my cat, and his sexual history that he had no told her about. I told her that while I was giving her a +1 I would really appreciate if she did not bring him as her guest. She asked why and I told all. She dated him for about a month until he showed his true colors and he was out of both of our lives forever.

Re: In honor of B's AE....

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    edited October 2010
    Well I posted about it a while ago, but I have an old friend who started dating a total douche a couple years ago and the idea of him being at the wedding made me ill.  I asked for advice and basically resigned myself to just sucking it up and inviting her - but luckily, he dumped her recently - so now he's not coming.  Am I a bitch for being happy that my friend got dumped?  Whatever.

    I will say that my parent's part of the guest list is rather out of hand.  My mom called the other day with another address of someone to invite: the hired man of a friend of my dad's.  Why are we iniviting this guy?  Oh, because all the guys have gotten to know him really well, and he's really nice, and everyone else is invited to the wedding, so it would be sad if he wasn't invited and he'd be really honored to be invited.  Except I've never even met the guy.  And my mom didn't even know his last name, initially.  Meh.  Whatevs.

    ETA - OH!  Also, my parents are inviting another farmer in the farmer friend circle, and his wife.  His wife just happens to be the mother of a high school classmate of mine who used to actively stalk me.  As in, I was creeped out and often scared of this guy, and now his mom and step-dad are coming to the wedding.  Nice.
    panther
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    One of my FI's GM's has this really awful GF. Long story short she met a stranger at the gas station  where she works and went on a weekend trip with him to PA with their 1yr old son. She is always leaving him for other men and after she sleeps around for a while she comes back. She is 20yrs old and can't handle her alcohol (this GM had told us she was 21 at the time) She was booty-dancing at a friends wedding and was such a skank that the Grooms grandmother left because she was sooo uncomfortable. OK so maybe that was a little longer than a short story but there is sooo much more and I really do not look forward to her coming to my wedding. (I do have a BM who knows her and has promised to make sure she doesn't over do it on the booze as she will actually be 21 by me wedding)
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    Does my MIL count? Or any of the family friends she invited, even though H's family didn't pay for anything. Oh well, most of them didn't show. Other than those people, I liked everyone we invited and was disappointed when some of them couldn't come.
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    I'm not inviting my MOH's mom. My MOH is my first cousin, and my best friend. Her parents are divorced, and her dad is my dad's brother. MOH's mom has never cared for my other uncle or my dad, and has said some pretty terrible stuff about us behind our backs. She's done some mean things (IMO) to MOH before. She loathes my mom, because my mom was married to my uncle (MOH's mom's ex husband, yeah it's weird) first. Anyway, she's not invited. The wedding hasn't happened yet, but I don't foresee it really being a problem.
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    Well, I'm way farther out than most of you who are still planning, but I'm frsutrated that FI's family is so damn huge.  Both of his parents are remarried (since he was 12, so he grew up with the extended fam, too) and his mom and stepmom both come from 7-8 kid families.  It's a situation where we can't invite some without inviitng everyone. So we're inviting all of them, sans kids.

    I feel bad being bitchy about it.  I know it's his family and he wants them there; they're also the sweetest people in the world.  I just get frustrated that I can' t invite some of my close friends so that we can accomodate extended family.  Also, I have to wonder how many will actually follow through with coming out here (although a lot of them are planning on making it into a whole vacation).
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    meh, I don't know. FI's Best Woman swore up and down that she wasn't going to bring a date because she didn't have a SO, then three days after our numbers were due she asked if her BF of three weeks/month could come after dinner. We happened to have mis-counted our head count and had an extra meal so we told her he could come.

    I don't think we have an real +1s, most people are people we know. I am more frustrated with the people who have dropped out since I put in the #s. It is such a waste of money to pay for meals that won't be used. 
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    I didn't want one of H's friends to be there. I have no respect for him and think he's a horrible influence on anyone he meets. But I sucked it up and hardly even saw him, thankfully. Now, if only he'd move away and I didn't have to deal with him anymore. He's not a bad guy and never did anything to me, I just don't like him.


    I did tell my mother in the beginning that I would not be inviting her sister and one of her brothers, or any of their children. I knew she would understand why but I neeed her to know because they would not take the news lightly, and she would have to deal with them. They were the only ones I flat-out refused to have there.

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    I'm waffling on a cousin's long term boyfriend.  He's a tool, they're off and on (more on than off, but still), and he doesn't care for me much.  I know I should invite him, and I probably will, but man, I don't want him there.

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    I have an aunt that I really don't want to be there.  I was a total betch and my plan was to not send her an invite at all and if she made a stink about it I'd say I must have had the wrong address.  My Grandmother made a stink about it so I ended up sending her an invite which she never replied to so God only knows if she's coming.  I can't stand her (she won't respond to my Grandmother asking her, and she isn't important enough to me for me to call her).  She's been nothing but cruel and mean to my Grandmother who still adores her.  She lives across the country so maybe she won't come, but I'm pretty sure she will just to be a you know what.
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    I'll 'fess up. We asked my sister not to bring her husband. It's a longass story but he's a piece of shiit and nobody likes him. The reaction I got from her was what you'd expect... but it actually opened up a dialogue and ended in a meaningful conversation between the 4 of us (H & I, sis & her H) that was a longtime coming.

    In the end, he came to the wedding. But we still don't like him.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honor-of-bs-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:7cf4c8f5-7e06-4e0f-a2e6-6259ae60d68bPost:689617cb-a324-43ac-9e8e-da94969ed86b">Re: In honor of B's AE....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll 'fess up. We asked my sister not to bring her husband. It's a longass story but he's a piece of shiit and nobody likes him. The reaction I got from her was what you'd expect... but it actually opened up a dialogue and ended in a meaningful conversation between the 4 of us (H & I, sis & her H) that was a longtime coming. In the end, he came to the wedding. But we still don't like him.
    Posted by akhensley81[/QUOTE]

    So I HAVE to ask.  You know how everyone says "ZOMG YOU WON'T EVEN NOTICE HE'S THERE!"? 

    So...did you notice?

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honor-of-bs-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7cf4c8f5-7e06-4e0f-a2e6-6259ae60d68bPost:e48b69df-ea60-44c2-97a7-a2aa98ed8456">Re: In honor of B's AE....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: In honor of B's AE.... : So I HAVE to ask.  You know how everyone says "ZOMG YOU WON'T EVEN NOTICE HE'S THERE!"?  So...did you notice?
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    Oh yes. He's one of these people who makes it impossible not to notice him. And I'll also admit that I asked the reception coordinator and several other guests to "keep an eye" on him for us, so if anything went down we wouldn't have to worry.

    But the wedding still happened and nobody died, so there's that. :)
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    My step dad, but it would cause an obvious shiit storm. Oh, and FI's Groomswoman's creepy BF, but they've been together almost as long as we have. It would be mean to her. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honor-of-bs-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:7cf4c8f5-7e06-4e0f-a2e6-6259ae60d68bPost:c335997b-1ae8-4263-baec-7f86f7894549">Re: In honor of B's AE....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: In honor of B's AE.... : Oh yes. He's one of these people who makes it impossible not to notice him. And I'll also admit that I asked the reception coordinator and several other guests to "keep an eye" on him for us, so if anything went down we wouldn't have to worry. But the wedding still happened and nobody died, so there's that. :)
    Posted by akhensley81[/QUOTE]

    I always want to call bullshit on the people who say that.  Though I guess a husband of a sister is probably more noticeble than the random boyfriend of a college sorority sister or something, so there's that.  But good to know!

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honor-of-bs-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7cf4c8f5-7e06-4e0f-a2e6-6259ae60d68bPost:3d0e6a5c-8854-4ce3-bb66-4837a3db3a73">Re: In honor of B's AE....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: In honor of B's AE.... : I always want to call bullshit on the people who say that.  Though I guess a husband of a sister is probably more noticeble than the random boyfriend of a college sorority sister or something, so there's that.  But good to know!
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I know my situation came up on the boards at one point months ago, and I got that standard "you won't even notice he's there" from a lot of people. I knew that was a bunch of crap. I definitely noticed him. But his presence didn't ruin anything. It just annoyed a couple of people. Hehe.
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    My FFIL's gf.  If there was any way to not invite her we would.  But we still have time till the wedding so we're hoping for a break up.  (Yes, that's mean but this woman is a pita and a kitten stealer)
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    I'm not inviting my brother's girlfriend. He left his wife for her and I'll admit it- I'm pretty angry about it still. (This was in April-ish) I have no desire to meet this new woman, and I am still very close to his ex. She is actually the one helping me coordinate a lot of the wedding stuff. I'm sure he will get mad, but he will get over it.
    (Its not just me who doesn't want her there- none of my family wants to meet her at this point)
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    I don't have any +1s that I don't want coming. But I'm also giving all my single friends a +1 so they can bring a date if they choose b/c going to weddings stag blows. So someone could bring along a total douchebag with them, but who cares. My mom is adding a bunch of her cousins that she hasn't seen in 10 years and friends of her from g-ma's nursing home that I barely know. But my parents are paying for it, so I guess they can add whomever they want. I kind of don't want to invite my two cousins who live in TX, but I have to invite my Aunt & Uncle and I guess it's rude not to invite the kids, but I'm not inviting other cousins. One of them is like 10 or 12 and that violates my no kiddies rule, but whatever.

    On that note if I address invites to couples ie Mr & Mrs John Doe is that clear that only THEY are invited versus The Doe Family implying all the kiddies are invited too. I have a bunch of friends with babies and I don't want a fucking rompa room at my wedding.


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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honor-of-bs-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:7cf4c8f5-7e06-4e0f-a2e6-6259ae60d68bPost:37cce887-a6c1-4d17-a861-d4ffd0ca62ba">Re: In honor of B's AE....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't have any +1s that I don't want coming. But I'm also giving all my single friends a +1 so they can bring a date if they choose b/c going to weddings stag blows. So someone could bring along a total douchebag with them, but who cares. My mom is adding a bunch of her cousins that she hasn't seen in 10 years and friends of her from g-ma's nursing home that I barely know. But my parents are paying for it, so I guess they can add whomever they want. I kind of don't want to invite my two cousins who live in TX, but I have to invite my Aunt & Uncle and I guess it's rude not to invite the kids, but I'm not inviting other cousins. One of them <strong>is like 10 or 12 and that violates my no kiddies rule</strong>, but whatever. On that note if I address invites to couples ie Mr & Mrs John Doe is that clear that only THEY are invited versus The Doe Family implying all the kiddies are invited too. I have a bunch of friends with babies and I don't want a fucking rompa room at my wedding.
    Posted by kcullen37[/QUOTE]

    If you set your age limit to include them then you're fine.  I picked the age of the youngest person I wanted and that is how I set my "kid's" limit.  This way there were no hurt feelings.  Of course I choose 18.  :) (Actually I have a DD and couldn't set an age limit b/c her cousins are all around her age so instead we're just having her and my nephew who are both in the wedding party and no other kids except little babies which there may be one)
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    I really didnt want my friend to bring her on again/off again bf to our wedding because I dated him for like a year and a half in high school and it would be weird. Luckily she didn't bring him anyway! Other than that there was no invite sketchiness, thank goodness.
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    I don't think J wanted his dad to come. We did send him an invitation, he said he was coming, said he'd booked a room (at the FAR end of the strip from us - in the cheap hotel area), and then called his sister either the day before or the morning of the wedding and said he "was sick" and wasn't coming.

    Don't know if I believe it or not, but sister said he sounded sick. Worked for me. Worked for J - he wrote him off as being reliable 26 years ago. And he communicates with J through the sister. Always.

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    I basically only want my nephews there, and they won't be there for long at all, one will be 8 months old (he was just born 10/1/10!) and the other will be 4 and is our ring bearer, he'll stay for some of the reception I assume. I leave that all up to my sis, they're family so it's ok. My cousins I barely know, but I doubt A&U will leave them in TX alone for a weekend, plus they all used to live in NJ and the girls probably want to see my parents. I guess I could say no kids under 10, except my nephews?

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    We didn't invite one of my brothers, for reasons I've discussed in the past and don't want to go into now, and it caused a huge shiitstorm.  He verbally attacked me and I was crying for weeks.  I got over it.  I don't think he did, but screw him and his wife. 

    Everyone else who was there was more than welcomed by us.  H wanted to invite a woman who'd long ago had an affair with one of his friends and I vetoed that.  Frankly, I didn't care which one of the affair-ees he invited, because he is friendly with both of them, but I put my foot down over inviting them both.   
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honor-of-bs-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:7cf4c8f5-7e06-4e0f-a2e6-6259ae60d68bPost:e2549faa-ae8e-4e6e-91e9-6722c481f0f7">Re: In honor of B's AE....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I really didnt want my friend to bring her on again/off again bf to our wedding because I dated him for like a year and a half in high school and it would be weird. Luckily she didn't bring him anyway! Other than that there was no invite sketchiness, thank goodness.
    Posted by K Byte[/QUOTE]


    Ha!  Two of our groomsmen are former boyfriends of mine.  I dated the best man in high school and we were sooooooo hot and heavy (lol).  It's not awkward for us though, we grew up in a small town - and literally, everyone ended up dating everyone else sooner or later.
    panther
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    I only had 2 people that I didn't want to invite but I felt that I had to because I wanted their husband/father to come and I didn't want them to feel disrespected. Well, last week I got their RSVP with 3 no's. I was a little upset that the husband/father wasn't coming but overall, I am happy that the wife/daughter was staying away.
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
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    I didn't invite some family members, for reasons similiar to OWN's. Excluding them meant excluding about 20 people. I agonized over it for months beforehand, but after I made the decision, I was so happy they weren't there.
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