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Baby post -opinions

Yes I am putting the cart before the horse but hey, it gives me something else to worry about ;)

Ever since Z found out she's going to have a cousin she has talked non-stop about how excited she is to hold, kiss, and play with her baby cousin. She has also informed everyone that "other than auntie and uncle" she is going to be the first to hold the baby.

She will be 5 in July and I am really uncomfortable with a 5 year old holding a baby of any age. I was holding my breath when she was playing with Taryn because I was terrified she would break Tide's baby. Z is really good and acts far older than her age, but still, a 5 year olds muscle and motor skills are not that great.

Would it be a biitch move for me to say (to her mom) that I'm not comfortable with Z holding the baby until the baby can at least support it's own head? I'm going to do it regardless, but just wanted to know if I'm being crazy or if this is a normal/sensible thing to do.

Re: Baby post -opinions

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    I think it would be a good opportunity to teach Z how to hold a baby, a little bit about babies that age and teach her how to care for the baby (in the small ways a 5 year old can). I would make sure she was sitting when she did it and knew how gentle you had to be.
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    Awww, Katie - she won't break the baby :)

    If she's even allowed into the hospital (depending on the time of year, a lot of hospitals won't allow children to visit, due to the potential for spreading illness) I don't think it would hurt to allow her to hold baby Whomplette, providing that she's sitting down, and it's only for a few minutes under close supervision.  From what I saw, she was extremely considerate, and could comprehend the need to be gentle with the little one.  When they're that little, they're not as squirmy as they are when they can actually support their heads ;) 

    Holy Crap. We survived the first year!
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    edited December 2010
    When I was little, if I wanted to hold one of the babies in my family, I had to sit in my mom's lap and "hold" the baby (aka mom was really holding on). I think your concern is valid but I would wait until much closer to delivery to bring it up.

    ETA: I don't remember how little I was or when I got to hold the baby on my own.
    Mrs. Wiggins image
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    Well if it were my kid, I'd feel the same way. And I'm with you on the not holding the baby until Baby can hold his/her head up.
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    Ok you guys are making me feel better about it.
    I think part of it is that I've never been around a newborn so I have this image in my mind of them being these fragile little things that will break if you breathe on them.

    Tide, that's a good point about the squirming being less the younger they are, I didn't think of it that way. Can you come live with me for a month over the summer and teach me the ways of the baby? (Because you'll just have so much time on your hands)
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    When I was four I loved holding my newborn little sister, but I was always seated and was either on the floor, on the couch, or sitting in her crib. Oh the other hand, I do think people understand others being a little overcareful with their first kid. So maybe you can instead lay the baby on the floor when you get home and let Z shake a rattle and kiss and hold the baby's hand and stuff.
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    HA!  DH would probably be better there than me.  I literally had a "sink or swim" introduction to babies when Taryn was born.  DH wasn't at the hospital much because he had appts and house stuff that he needed to take care of.  The first night, he was sleeping, and I had to ask the nurse how to do everything - how to change a diaper, how to swaddle, how to hold the baby, etc.  It sucked SO bad, but I honestly think it was for the best; had DH been available, I probably would have pawned it all off on him and never learned.  IF I had to learn on the fly, so do you :) 
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    I don't blame you for feeling that way. My son was 3 when his dad had another baby and his dad and the new baby's mom wanted my son to be the first to hold him. My son's dad and I get along pretty good, so he asked me to bring our son to the hospital when the baby was being born. I was uncomfortable letting my 3 year old son old a newborn, but his dad sat right beside him and showed him exactly how to hold him and even kept his arm under our son's arms until he was sure our son had it down.

    Like tide said, Z won't break the baby, but I think its normal to feel the way you do.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    When I was 5 my little cousin was born, I was able to sit on the couch near the arm of the couch & hold the baby. With the baby's mother sitting beside me showing me how to old the baby's head, etc.
    I completely understand why you are worried, I'd be the same way with a baby. I don't have kids, but when I do, I can see myself asking this same question.
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    I held my baby sister when I was 3.5-4 years old and she was a newborn. Like everyone else suggested, just make sure that the child is sitting down and has adult backups and I think you'll all be fine! :D That's so cute that she wants to be involved!
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    I agree with everyone else that if she's sitting down with you or your husband (or another capable adult) she'll probably do alright holding him. However, if that makes you uncomfortable you are the mom and you make the rules. I don't think anyone will fault you for trying to be careful with your child.

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    I held baby cousin's at that age, but the rule was I had to sit down exactly like mrs.jesse's picture, and it was only for a few moments.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_baby-post-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7dc9a5b0-8e16-4b17-938e-d3b606ea418ePost:3ec2be63-352e-432d-82f9-04f47f87dbbf">Re: Baby post -opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I held my baby sister when I was 3.5-4 years old and she was a newborn. Like everyone else suggested, just make sure that the child is sitting down and has adult backups and I think you'll all be fine! :D <strong>That's so cute that she wants to be involved!
    </strong>Posted by K Byte[/QUOTE]

    It really is and I'm glad she didn't go the other way of hating any new family members! It has been tough on her mom though because now Z keeps asking her why she isn't pregnant because she really really wants a sister. They've been trying for 2 years and now her H is out of the country until July 2012 so chances are slim to none.

    Now I just have to figure out a way to tell mil that no, the baby does not need a 7' tall dollhouse and no, our house does not have the room to hold everything she wants to buy us.
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    I remember holding babies when I was like 3/4 but it was always while sitting next to someone with the baby on my lap. I understand you being uncomfortable with it though, and I think that'd your right.
    It'll all work out :)
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    Ditto what everyone else said re: supervised holding.
    I always tell the nervous parents/grandparents that you can't break a baby unless you're actually trying. They're 'build Ford tough' and if they can survive birth, they can survive being held by a nervous loved one! =)

    I held my cousins all the time when I was 5 or 6. I even carried them around, changed diapers and fed them (I took naturally to babies I guess). It's totally normal to be nervous if you yourself aren't comfortable with newborns, but you will get over it with time and become more comfortable. Then will come a time when you'll be glad to have someone else hold him/her! =)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_baby-post-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:7dc9a5b0-8e16-4b17-938e-d3b606ea418ePost:78f8ce23-0ff5-4c20-84de-7afcac13db93">Re: Baby post -opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok you guys are making me feel better about it. I think part of it is that I've never been around a newborn so<strong> I have this image in my mind of them being these fragile little things that will break if you breathe on them</strong>. Tide, that's a good point about the squirming being less the younger they are, I didn't think of it that way. Can you come live with me for a month over the summer and teach me the ways of the baby? (Because you'll just have so much time on your hands)
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    I had the same fear when I held my first newborn. It was my good friend's first kid and I've only really ever held her and my niece when she was born. The thing I had to tell myself was that the human race wouldn't have survived if babies were as fragile as we make them out to be when they're born. :) 

    When niece was born my B and SIL were super duper careful and meticulous with everything they did. It was their first kid and bro had never been around babies before. They learned everything from the nurse at the hospital. Now they seem to be like old pros!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_baby-post-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:7dc9a5b0-8e16-4b17-938e-d3b606ea418ePost:d5512abf-9f26-44a8-a560-7e964e831caa">Baby post -opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes I am putting the cart before the horse but hey, it gives me something else to worry about ;) Ever since Z found out she's going to have a cousin she has talked non-stop about how excited she is to hold, kiss, and play with her baby cousin. She has also informed everyone that "other than auntie and uncle" she is going to be the first to hold the baby. She will be 5 in July and I am really uncomfortable with a 5 year old holding a baby of any age. I was holding my breath when she was playing with Taryn because I was terrified she would break Tide's baby. Z is really good and acts far older than her age, but still, a 5 year olds muscle and motor skills are not that great. Would it be a biitch move for me to say (to her mom) that I'm not comfortable with Z holding the baby until the baby can at least support it's own head? I'm going to do it regardless, but just wanted to know if I'm being crazy or if this is a normal/sensible thing to do.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    I think you should let her 'hold' the baby by sitting her on the couch and putting the baby in her lap, having someone else take pictures, and sitting next to her. 

    My older nephew 'held' my younger nephew (they're 13 months apart) when he was born.  He didn't really, but it made for some cute pics and I'm sure made him feel important.

    Should you let her carry the baby around?  Of course not.  But I think that a 5 year old is more than capable of following directions and knowing that it's something special that she has to earn.
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
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    Yeah, my bad for not reading the responses.  Sorry! 

    Babies are MUCH more resilient than you think.  I was terrified to bring Emma home...she was only 5 pounds!  But the NICU nurse told me that they're much more tough than you'd think and can stand some handling. 

    Well, we had 1 nicu nurse who picked up Emma without holding her head and it fell back and I FLIPPED OUT.  She was older and didn't seem to really know what she was doing.  However, she was also the nurse that had to clean up Em's explosive poop that happened when B was changing her, so I guess it all evened out, right?  lol
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    I held my baby brother when he was born and I was 5 years old. I sat on the couch similar to Mrs. Jesse's picture except instead of with the arm of the couch there were pillows stacked so my dad could sit next to the pillows near the baby's head.

    Honestly, there are so many things a new mother will worry about, but a small child holding a baby while sitting on a couch "holding" the baby (really he was just laying in my arms), is probably one of the things that is least likely to end to in harm to the baby. I can really understand why you would be nervous, but I don't think much would go wrong if she is well-supervised and she can follow directions. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_baby-post-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:7dc9a5b0-8e16-4b17-938e-d3b606ea418ePost:78f8ce23-0ff5-4c20-84de-7afcac13db93">Re: Baby post -opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok you guys are making me feel better about it. I think part of it is that I've never been around a newborn so I have this image in my mind of them being these fragile little things that will break if you breathe on them.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    You'll quickly learn how not fragile they are when you see the nurses with the baby lol, my best man's wife just had their first about six weeks ago and she was freaking out for the first day but slowly realized all the nurses did basically the same things.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


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    Why not get her a Baby Alive (or something similar) for Christmas so she can practice holding and caring for baby? It might help her (and you) prepare for holding the baby :)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_baby-post-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:7dc9a5b0-8e16-4b17-938e-d3b606ea418ePost:00a49d63-12d0-4db9-9c0c-7011797a189a">Re: Baby post -opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why not get her a Baby Alive (or something similar) for Christmas so she can practice holding and caring for baby? It might help her (and you) prepare for holding the baby :)
    Posted by scoetto[/QUOTE]

    Last time I saw her with a baby doll she was walking around the room holding it by it's foot <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />
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    True. But maybe if you tell her it's a very special baby doll she'll treat it different. 5 yr olds can be very receptive.
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    Oh yeah. And she hasn't broken her other cousin yet, so hopefully that's a god sign. bil's sister is due in April so maybe she'll be sick of babies by July lol.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_baby-post-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:7dc9a5b0-8e16-4b17-938e-d3b606ea418ePost:04a439c2-5089-4021-a921-3a53cdffd14a">Re: Baby post -opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Baby post -opinions : Last time I saw her with a baby doll she was walking around the room holding it by it's foot
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    I used to stand my dolls on their heads when changing them.

    I don't do that with Emma, haha.
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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    Kids that treat their toys like crap, even their dolls, aren't necessarily going to break a baby. LIke everyone else said, have the kid sitting at the time and all that.


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