Okay, I'm trying to figure out if I was wrong to say anything, so here's the backstory:
I gave a ton of clothes (two giant trash bags full) to a neighbor of mine with some shoes, let's call her Betty. Today, I get on facebook and we are members of this local yard sale site where you can sale whatever you want via facebook. I see the clothes I gave her on the site. Now, the clothes I gave her aren't cheap (not that it makes a difference) and are still in style. On the site she is selling the jeans I gave her @$20 ea., selling some sweaters at $15, shirts were $5-$10 and she is selling a couple of pairs of Vans and Uggs I gave her for $15-$40 bucks.
I text her this morning and asked if I could come over and talk with her. She said she was busy just text her. So, I text her and said, "Okay I was just going to say if you didn't like the clothes I gave you, or they are too small for your little one, in the future can I just get them back from you because I know other kids who can where them. Now hard feelings, I didn't stipulate that when I gave them to you, I just figured if you weren't going to use them, you'd let me know."
She responds, "Are you F*CKING kidding me??? I didn't know there were rules on sh*t you gave people! Just FYI, I was taking the money I made and putting it in a jar so that I could take my girls and your little one to chuck-e-cheese with it, I give tons of clothes to people all the time and if I can't use them, I always ask if they want them back. I don't appreciate you accusing me of trying to make a profit off of free clothes. I'll bring them all back to you. Happy now?"
I reply, "This is why I would have rather done this in person. I'm not mad, I just wanted to let you know that in the future, I would like to have the option of passing them on to others if you don't want them. That's all I was saying. I just thought that was the general rule of thumb with hand-me-downs, perhaps I was mistaken. I didn't specify what I wanted you to do with the clothes because I figured your daughter would wear them because they should all fit her. I was just kind of surprised you were trying to sell them without asking me. It was just a misunderstanding, I didn't mean to offend you."
She answered back, "It's fine, I'll just make a note that any 'good dead' you do comes with stipulations. Note to self. I'm busy I have to go. Take care."
I said, "Sorry for any hurt feelings, wasn't my intention, have a good day. I hope we can talk more, it wasn't my intention to start an argument."
-Our kids play together all the time and we have come to be pretty good friends. She has the tendency to be a hot head which is why I preferred talking with her in person. I shouldn't have done it via text, that was my mistake. Am I wrong for bringing it up? Should I have just bit the bullet and not said anything and just not given her anymore clothes? I'll admit, I was kind of upset. If I wanted the clothes sold, I would have sold them. I don't feel it's her place to sell them and decide what I want to do with the money (chuck-e-cheese). Maybe I am being petty, I just know that with everyone else I have given hand me downs too, we ask each other if they want them back when they are outgrown, etc. etc. I thought this was rule of thumb.
Thanks for input!!!
*Edited to add NWR to title*Edit again: I gave them to her about 4 days before I saw them on facebook. grrrrrr.
June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!