Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth
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Dilemma

My very close friend asked me to be a BM this coming Memorial Day weekend. I accepted, of course. My brother's high school graduation has been scheduled for that day (time TBA). The wedding is in Shreveport and his graduation is in Garland. I really want to do both. FWIW, I have not had to purchase a dress yet, however I would feel bad telling her I have to back out as I have already accepted. WWYD?

Re: Dilemma

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    juliebug1997juliebug1997 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My brother's graduation would be way more important to me and my parents would probably kill me if I didn't go.  I would call my friend and explain the situation.  Is the time really TBA?  The ISD where I work has had the graduation times posted for this coming year's graduation since the end of school in 2008.
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    edited December 2011
    I would have to tell her about the situation.  Family trumps weddings (at least to me).  She should be able to understand and appreciate you letting her know so far in advance.
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    edited December 2011
    I'm really not sure why I would make up that the time is TBA. Yes, it really is.
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    juliebug1997juliebug1997 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I didn't mean to say that you made that up.  I was just saying that some schools have these things planned out so far in advanced and put it on their websites.  The parents in our district start planning summer vacations years a head sometimes.  That's all....
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with Mariah, explain the situation to her and I'm sure she would understand that you can't be in two places at once.  Good Luck!
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    shananaginsshananagins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    While family does trump friends, for me, weddings trump graduations.  If it was me, I know that unless my brother was speaking or performing at the graduation, he wouldn't care if I missed the ceremony, as long as I didn't miss the family celebration.  I know graduations are important milestones, but I find them boring and impersonal.  I would feel worse about missing a good friend's wedding than a graduation.  Don't feel guilty about backing out if you don't feel like you can miss the graduation.  Your friend would understand, and you'd be giving her plenty of notice. 
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    BanannaPBanannaP member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    While family does trump friends, for me, weddings trump graduations.I agree with this. I missed my sister's high school graduation because the TWU was going to New York to sing in Carnegie Hall. She didn't care at all, and it was one less loooong graduation for me to sit through. I did change some plans to make it to her college graduation, though, because that was a bigger deal to her.
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    emylianaemyliana member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i agree with shannon..  ask your brother to see if it would hurt his feelings, and if he's okay with it then i would make sure to be at his family celebration then go to the wedding.. i know i had a couple family members that couldn't make it to my hs graduation, and it didn't bother me at all
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    edited December 2011
    *sigh* There are so many factors in this situation. I don't think my brother would mind me missing out, but he's the kind that I would never really know for sure. She is my oldest friend (we've known each other since we were two!) but I always missed his football games because of dance. I'll have to let you all know what I decide to do. Maybe his walk will be at 9 and her wedding will be at 7!
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    BanannaPBanannaP member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Maybe you could talk to them both and explain the situation, if you haven't already. Tell them that you really want to do both, and you will do everything in your power to make that happen, but if they're too close together, something will have to give. Hopefully you'll be able to work it out soon!
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    callie_knotcallie_knot member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Are you sure her wedding will be on a Saturday? I have a friend that is getting married Labor Day weekend and she's doing it on Sunday because the venue is cheaper and no one has to go to work on Monday.I think family would trump graduation too. But I think it's odd that they don't know when the graduation will be.I also think it's weird it's on Mem Day weekend. Maybe you'll luck out and the graduation will be in the morning or early afternoon. And FWIW but anyone I had been best friends with since I was two would probably feel the same as family to me. I have a few friends who we've been together since third grade and their parents are like my parents etc.
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    edited December 2011
    This is a tough one.    I know it is way too early to know just yet, but our high school had multiple awards banquets/sports banquets etc. leading up to graduation that were much more personal.   Perhaps if they have these types of events you could make it a point to attend them, and if it ends up that there is a time conflict with the wedding then you can attend the wedding instead.
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