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Lunch and a question

What's for lunch?

If you worked with a transgendered or transsexual person, how would you feel about them using the stall next to you in the bathroom?

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Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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Re: Lunch and a question

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    Twice baked potato soup.

    And I wouldn't care, really.  They gotta go somewhere.

    You know what I think sucks?  Intersexed people that can't marry because no matter WHO they fall in love with, it's a same-sex marriage.
    panther
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    A banana and some granola.

    I would expect the person to use the bathroom for the gender they present as. 
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    Leftovers from Mediterranean restaurant mmmmmmm..

    No issues with it.  But then, I live/work in the SF bay area so I lean a bit towards progressive on a few things.
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    ricksangricksang member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2010
    As long as they don't try to get in my stall, I don't care where someone pees.

    I had a gyro
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lunch-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9b27374e-b7b4-4abb-a836-81a04297ef4fPost:bbac7160-3f29-4535-b5dd-720af841a0cc">Re: Lunch and a question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Twice baked potato soup. And I wouldn't care, really.  They gotta go somewhere. You know what I think sucks?  <strong>Intersexed people that can't marry because no matter WHO they fall in love with, it's a same-sex marriage.</strong>
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    I never even thought of that.  That DOES suck.

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    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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    1 Lean pocket ham and cheese.

    Nope, I would not mind in the least about the bathroom.
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    I am not sure. I might want to think about that.

    I have no problem with transgendered people going into the bathroom of the sex that they identify with. It wouldn't make me uncomfortable for me to see them in there.

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    I haven't gone up to get lunch yet, but hopefully some corn chowder and something sweet.

    I have actually thought about this before, and I just don't know.  If she were a MTF pre-op and pre-hormones, I think I would be uncomfortable.  I don't like that I feel that way because I don't think people should be discriminated upon or that men who feel like they were born the wrong gender should be forced to use the men's room, but I am just being honest.  I like that more places seem to have the one person only family restroom or handicap restroom so that makes it easier.  I guess in the end I wouldn't know because that person would be living like a woman and presumably dressing like a woman.  This is something that I will just have to get over I guess.  I'm interested to see what other people think.
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    An apple and a WW meal.

    I don't think it would bother me at all, especially since by working with them I'd know them as a person and not just as a random transgendered person (not that that would bother me, but you get the idea).
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lunch-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9b27374e-b7b4-4abb-a836-81a04297ef4fPost:bbac7160-3f29-4535-b5dd-720af841a0cc">Re: Lunch and a question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Twice baked potato soup. And I wouldn't care, really.  They gotta go somewhere. You know what I think sucks?<strong>  Intersexed people that can't marry because no matter WHO they fall in love with, it's a same-sex marriage.
    </strong>Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    Is that really true?  Most statutes state that a man and a woman may marry.  If the intersexed person identifies as either a man or a woman, and many do, he or she can marry as long as he or she marries a person who identifies and is identified legally as the other sex.   

    Typically, an intersexed person has to choose one or the other in order to get things like a driver's license that categorizes one's sex.  I think the same would hold true for a marriage license, wouldn't it? 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lunch-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9b27374e-b7b4-4abb-a836-81a04297ef4fPost:b17a629f-cac5-463f-88e5-35b705263640">Re: Lunch and a question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Lunch and a question : I never even thought of that.  That DOES suck.
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    Yeah.  And the shiit of it is, waaaay more people are born that way than you'd ever realize.  I think it's like one in every 2-thousand people or something.

    I met one at UND.
    panther
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    southwest chicken salad

    I wouldn't care that kind of stuff doesn't bother me. I agree with Slubkin I used to live in the SF bay area for a few years so you get used to that sorta thing. It's definately not uncommon.
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    Lentil soup and toast.

    I like to think that I'd be ok with it.  It might make me feel a bit weird at first, but I'm pretty sure I'd get over that quickly.
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    TheCranberryTheCranberry member
    First Comment
    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lunch-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9b27374e-b7b4-4abb-a836-81a04297ef4fPost:bbac7160-3f29-4535-b5dd-720af841a0cc">Re: Lunch and a question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Twice baked potato soup. And I wouldn't care, really.  They gotta go somewhere. You know what I think sucks?  Intersexed people that can't marry because no matter WHO they fall in love with, it's a same-sex marriage.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    Not necessarily.  I think there are some states that recognize a sex change so that if you are a MTF transgendered person and want to marry a man, it's no problem even if that state doesn't recognize same sex marriage. 

    I am at work and don't want to research this on my work computer so if anyone else has more or contrary information let us know.
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    edited December 2010
    OWN - The person I met who was intersexed talked to me about it.  In North Dakota, anyway - no dice.

    ETA - Intersexed people are not the same as transgendered people.  Transgendered people are born one sex and identify with the other.  Intersexed people are born with, basically, both parts.
    panther
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    I had a frozen Weight Watchers thingy and a banana.

    I don't care who is peeing next to me as long as they're not peeing on me.
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    Squash bisque and filet of sole stuffed with crabmeat. YUM! oh, and some raspberry cheesecake for dessert :)

    It doesn't bother me in the least. I would expect them to make the decision as to which bathroom they feel most comfortable in, not me.
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    Soup or maybe a chicken piccate and oven roasted veggies and I'll add brown or steamed rice.

    I wouldn't mind but I would assume they would use the restroom of which gender they are taking in public. For instance if they are dressed as a female they would use the woman's and vise versa.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lunch-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9b27374e-b7b4-4abb-a836-81a04297ef4fPost:b2e666e5-fd2a-4cb1-983a-9d70fb11942c">Re: Lunch and a question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lentil soup and toast. I like to think that I'd be ok with it.  It might make me feel a bit weird at first, but I'm pretty sure I'd get over that quickly.
    Posted by raynes[/QUOTE]

    This is my thought on it too. I'm pretty sure I would get used to it, and I certainly want them to do what they're most comfortable with.  But I'm surprised more people wouldn't be a little weirded out at first over seeing feet pointing the "wrong" way in the stall next to them. 

    Leftover sloppy joes and an apple.

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    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lunch-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9b27374e-b7b4-4abb-a836-81a04297ef4fPost:c72a2496-dfab-4ef6-9b5b-00a0cd46613c">Re: Lunch and a question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Lunch and a question : Yeah.  And the shiit of it is, waaaay more people are born that way than you'd ever realize.  I think it's like one in every 2-thousand people or something. I met one at UND.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I saw a program a while back about intrasexed people. They talked a lot about how doctors frequently tried to push a female identity for them on the parents when they were babies, but they felt more male as they grew up. Wow. What a situation.

    </div>
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    Clam chowder and an apple.

    And I really wouldn't care one way or another.  Seriously, what's the big deal?  I'm in a stall, they're in a stall.  You can't see in each others stall...
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    Gonna have some homemade veggie beef soup with rice.  Don't want to fill up, Christmas party is tonight at Fogo de Chao (Brazillian Steakhouse-basically all the meat you can eat, and then some).

    As for the transgender, I'm with everyone else, as long as they're not in my stall with me, they can pee wherever they want.  I mean really, how old are we?  Who cares who is in the stall next to you?  They're in another stall...not yours.
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    BF packed lunch for me.  Sandwich and chips I think...

    I wouldn't care at all.  I just want seperate stalls.

    I went to a gay club and was warned before I went in that the bathrooms were co-ed.
    I was ok, walked into a bathroom full of men, got a few funny looks, did my business and walked out.
    Only after that did my friend tell me that there is a big men's bathroom, and a smaller bathroom around the corner for women and whoever else wanted to use it.

    Either they thought I was crazy, or a very convincing drag queen.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lunch-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9b27374e-b7b4-4abb-a836-81a04297ef4fPost:08f09bcc-5e75-4195-9ff4-e4601afc1ec5">Re: Lunch and a question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Lunch and a question : I saw a program a while back about intrasexed people. They talked a lot about how doctors frequently tried to push a female identity for them on the parents when they were babies, but they felt more male as they grew up. Wow. What a situation.
    Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]

    Yeah - it's so sad :( The best thing to do is just nothing and let them grow up and decide for themselves.

    The intersexed person I met was raised as a boy - she had more developed male parts than female parts.  Unfortuately she was developed enough to start getting her period when she was 12 or 13.   Once a month she became violently sick and it was because she was mentruating and it basically had nowhere to go - that's when her parents finally told her the truth about her body. 
    panther
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lunch-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9b27374e-b7b4-4abb-a836-81a04297ef4fPost:24d426ff-7905-4a73-87af-71cd32399e75">Re: Lunch and a question</a>:
    [QUOTE]OWN - The person I met who was intersexed talked to me about it.  In North Dakota, anyway - no dice.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    So, what did that person put on his or her driver's license?  I'm pretty sure that if he or she put down M, say, and the fiancee put down F, no one would be be checking their chromosomal makeup.  At least, that's the way it has worked for at least two couples I know here in Wisconsin. 

    It seems there would be ways around the ND law as long as the person fell in love with another person of the sex opposite of what he or she presented as.   I suppose it gets tricky if the person wants to marry another of the same gender as what he or she presents as, though. 

    Yet another reason not to discriminate against gays who want to marry - the male/female dichotomy doesn't really exist.  There are several shades of grey.
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    Leftover pizza and these really good mint chocolate cookies.

    I wouldn't care. It's not like the person is going into the bathroom to be a peeping Tom, they just have to use the restroom. The one thing I am curious about though is a men's bathroom. I could see guys being more weirded out over a transgender person because they don't have stalls like women do, unless they have to poo I guess.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_lunch-question-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9b27374e-b7b4-4abb-a836-81a04297ef4fPost:03765221-76e5-4ef4-ae53-afa5fe80f3ad">Re: Lunch and a question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Gonna have some homemade veggie beef soup with rice.  Don't want to fill up, Christmas party is tonight at Fogo de Chao (Brazillian Steakhouse-basically all the meat you can eat, and then some). As for the transgender, I'm with everyone else, as long as they're not in my stall with me, they can pee wherever they want.  <strong>I mean really, how old are we?  Who cares who is in the stall next to you?  They're in another stall...not yours.</strong>
    Posted by Bkseller13[/QUOTE]

    Really?  So if a man that identified as a man was using the same bathroom as you at the same time as you, you could not possibly care less?  Because that would be weird to me.  Maybe I'm a prude.

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    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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    Our building management is hosting a holiday turkey lunch for everyone in the building.  Since I don't want to leave the building, I'm having turkey.

    I wouldn't care if they were using the next stall.
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    OWN - I can't believe I never asked her what she put on her drivers license!
    panther
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    It wouldn't bother me. I don't go to each stall checking out people's parts.

    Someone at my school said it best (they are gay) - the bathroom is probably when you're most unattractive. I'm not going to hit on you while you're taking a piss and I don't expect the same. I go in there to do my business just like everyone else.


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