Ok ladies. WDYT. (ETA pics)

Blueyed228

So im bored at work. Its slow due to Earl. Tell me what you think of this. Most of you know that I work at gay clubs. Predominantly men. So there is this dancer we shall call Hector. Well Hector is" straight" and in a serious committed relationship with a beautiful girl. Well Hector is dancing on a pole righ now in front of me with his boxers around his ankles and his Jimmy Choo in everyones face. He also lets guys shove dollars in his boxers and grab a feel.
 
I am a confident girl, but this would concern me. What say you? Would you be ok with your man doing this?

(also there a rumors about him hooking up with boys which is no big deal except the whole gf thing so if he us bi she definitely does not know)

ETA: This is what I am talking about.




I dont know if you can see, but in the pic above his bum bum is totally out.

katiewhompus

Hell no. I'm very protective/possessive and have a terrible self esteem/self confidence. That would be a deal breaker.

alehayes

I wouldn't be comfortable with that.  I wouldn't want a girl doing it, and I wouldn't want a guy doing it either.  I think people should not touch other girls' boyfriend's junk.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Heya, Blue

So one part of me says, hey, it's just a job, and he's making money.

The other part of me imagines Ben having a job like this... and me flying into the club and clawing the eyes out of any other women OR MEN who are grabbing at him.

Yeah, I'd be concerned.  Quite a bit!

therickson

I am pretty laid back and trust my husband but I think this would be a little bit too much for me! This is also based on us being married... If we were not that serious I probably would be ok with it.

ETA: Missed the serious part... So yes I would say it would probably get to me.

desertsun

Uh, no. I would not be okay with that. I dated a bi man for a while, and that didn't bother me. But showing off the goods to anyone else? That's a deal-breaker for me.

nda_roxybabe

Uh no. That would be a problem.

npasquale16

I would definitely not be comfortable with that.  In most of the gay clubs I frequent, the customers are VERY touchy-feely and that would make me feel uncomfortable, whether it was a man or woman.

I also don't buy gay for pay, but that's another issue. 

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Also - the secret hookups?

I want to call up this chick and tell her to get out.

[Deleted User]

Yaa..I say not good.
Granted, I can see FI doing it with his friends.  In fact, it may have happened at a couple parties.  Lol..that's a matter on it's own though..and not at all at the level of seriousness you're talking about.

Blueyed228

Yeah. Like i said, your sexual orientation is not something i judge. But if you have a gf and hook up with dudes, im gonna think you're a jerk.

npasquale16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ok-ladies-wdyt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9bb1a3e1-6b03-498f-8cd6-3b05b29a5029Post:eae47b55-28d9-4efc-8683-899777885190">Re: Ok ladies. WDYT.</a>:
[QUOTE]Yaa..I say not good. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Granted, I can see FI doing it with his friends.  In fact, it may have happened at a couple parties</span>.  Lol..that's a matter on it's own though..and not at all at the level of seriousness you're talking about.
Posted by *tiffbot*1985*[/QUOTE]
Wait.  What?

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ok-ladies-wdyt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9bb1a3e1-6b03-498f-8cd6-3b05b29a5029Post:0641da0f-b25e-41dd-ad7b-29e29e28eff1">Re: Ok ladies. WDYT.</a>:
[QUOTE]I would definitely not be comfortable with that.  In most of the gay clubs I frequent, the customers are VERY touchy-feely and that would make me feel uncomfortable, whether it was a man or woman. <strong>I also don't buy gay for pay, but that's another issue. </strong>
Posted by npasquale16[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>I don't know. Some people are just narcissists/exhibitionists. </div><div>
</div><div>I kinda think you should know better than to date someone like that, though, if you want a committed relationship.</div>

[Deleted User]

np-haha..sorry..I really don't have a crazy FI
him and his friends just get along really really well.  And my guy friends fit right into their group.  And boys will be boys..!

npasquale16

I agree that no one should have a secret life, if they are in a committed relationship, so that part is definitely wrong.

When I say gay for pay, I'm talking about allowing people to touch you, or hooking up with customers, or acting in gay porn.  In my circle, I know of a lot of men who claim to be straight, but work at the clubs and hook up with customers to "make more money."  I just don't buy it. 

Either way, he shoud definitely be honest with the GF.

desertsun

Don't tease, tiff! What's the story?

[Deleted User]

I mean, I can think of one instance where we were all at a party and us girls went downstairs to chill out and talk and drink together for a bit, and when we got upstairs the boys were all in their ginch standing there like 3 year old boys and so proud of themselves for having a boy underwear party.

Granted, alcohol was involved.
It was all in fun though. 
I kind of feel like I'm taking away from the point of this convo..haha

npasquale16

I'm still really confused.  What does "boys will be boys" mean?  They hook up? Dance? Touch each other? Play video games?  I don't get it

ETA:  I see you posted at the same time.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Tiff - a friend of mine used to date a guy who was a former high school wrestler and all his high school buddies were wrestlers too... they kinda behaved like that.  They even made gay jokes amongst themselves but then would immediately say "Oh, haha, jk."

Stuff like that?

I dunno.  I didn't think any of them were really gay but I did find it weird that they behaved so... gayly.

[Deleted User]

Haha..no..no touching or hooking up!!!!!!!!!!

They just really enjoy not having to wear all of their clothes if they don't have to.  But I think they're finally getting out of that phase.  Haven't seen that happen in awhile.

FI and I each had pretty solid friends before we met each other, and after we met and started dating, the two groups were instantly made into one.  There's actually a couple of my girlfriends dating a couple of his friends now.  Things worked out really well for everyone after we met..haha

[Deleted User]

AATB-you got it.  None of them are gay.  heck, none of them are wrestlers, they all certainly have regular people bodies..haha..
But I'd say acting gayly is the right way to describe it!

vegasgroom

Sounds like the opposite of guys that date strippers; some people can deal with it, some can't, but if his gf doesn't know about what he really does at 'work' then that's a serious issue.

[Deleted User]

I did not mean to make this awkward.

I swear..I am a normal human as is FI..and all our friends..

Just to clear that up!

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Lol don't worry about it tiff.

npasquale16

No prob, Tiff.  I was just confused by your wording.

jemmini6

I don't share well with others, so this would be a problem.  Also, if he is hooking up with customers, I think cheating is cheating, there is no 'free pass' just because they are the same sex.

On a side note, a friend of mine used to date a stipper at a gay club (he was the only straight one) and she found out that he was hooking up with the girls that came there with their gay guy friends.  Unfortunately, a little while after she found that out, she found out she was pregnant...with twins.  He was a total d-bag about it too, so he has absolutely nothing to do with her or the boys.  Not saying all straight-gay-stippers are like this, but they shadiness seems to be a trend...

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Speaking of... erm... sharing... a girlfriend of mine and I were talking about swingers the other day (you know, that comes up in normal conversation all the time, right?).

I actually know a couple who does this - they are friends with my aunt and uncle.  They don't approve of their choice but basically feel like what they do in private is none of their business.

How would that come up in a marriage?  I mean can you imagine it?  "Sweetie, do you think we should spice things up a little by, I dunno, adding a third person to the mix?  Or switching with the Joneses?"

[Deleted User]

Thaaanks!
Off to bed! Good night all!!

npasquale16

I knew some swingers. 

When I was working at Express, one of the managers and I went out to lunch.  We were talking about older people in bars and clubs and she said maybe they were swingers.  Then she told me she and her daughter's father were swingers when they were together.  Their main rule was to look at the other partners as a toy, rather than a separate person.  It was like bringing a vibrator to bed. 

I could definitely not do it and I don't get the point of making a vow to be faithful if you aren't planning on being monogamous, but what grown adults do is their own business.  There are worse things going on in the world.

Shaye526

I don't think that would be ok with me at all.

And "Hector's" got some 'splainin to do....

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ok-ladies-wdyt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9bb1a3e1-6b03-498f-8cd6-3b05b29a5029Post:8d40ee2d-61bd-492e-acfd-cd3474972159">Re: Ok ladies. WDYT.</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah. Like i said, your sexual orientation is not something i judge. But if you have a gf and hook up with dudes, im gonna think you're a jerk.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>If you have a gf and hook up with anyone, you're a jerk.</div><div>
</div><div>He might be bi, and his gf might know that. Of course, that doesn't mean he can hook up with men and women at the same time - at least not if you're "serious" with one person. </div><div>
</div><div>So yeah, all that stuff would bother me.</div>