What is a polite way

goheels05

to bow out of a church group that I don't want to be in anymore?

I've been going to this women's group and I'm just not that into it.  The women are nice, but the meetings are very disorganized, always run way long, and we never really get anything done. 

And by polite, I mean really polite.  I'm not usually one to walk on egg shells, but this is a church thing, so I feel like it has to be handled with white gloves or something. 

MaggieandJake

I would maybe say, that you've over extended yourself and unfortunately, since you can't devote the amount of time you think it deserves, you have to step down from the group.  Wish them the best, thank them for including you, and go on your merry way.  Or something along those lines.

Good Luck!

mewebster59

Bow out with a work excuse, and just explain how busy you are, no extra time, and you hate it SOO much because you love all of them.  I would use an excuse, because I can't really think of a very nice/polite way to just tell them you aren't interested anymore. 

Good Luck!

goheels05

That's pretty good, but I forgot to mention that they only meet once a month so I feel like a total asshat for saying I can't devote 2 hours once a month to their meetings. Hmmm. 

PetraStonegirl

That is awkward. My gut says don't do anything formally, just stop going. If you are asked about it, gracefully explain that you've had something (work/school?) come up that had taken your time on those evenings. But, I'm a coward when it comes to disappointing little old church ladies.

goheels05

Gah, me too.

I used to have a really good excuse--my alumni group used to meet the 3rd Thursday of every month.  I could get that started again.  lol.

jasmineh7777

Work obligations have become much more time consuming than I anticipated, so I won't be able to commit to future meetings. I've really enjoyed this experience (met wonderful people, etc), and I would love to keep in touch with all of you. Thank you so much for your friendship, support, etc. (This is best said with a cake or cookies, no one can get mad at you when sweets are involved.)

mewebster59

Miss the first one, make up an excuse (oh, and unexpected guest showed up), apologize and get the notes from someone.  Miss the second one with another really  good excuse...  then you bow out.  "I feel like I am no longer contributing anything to this, and I love you ladies, but my life has been so crazy lately that I feel to behind and overwhelmed, you understand if I take some time away from our group right?"  I really dunno,.. yuck.

katiewhompus

Is it the same time/day every night? If so I would just go with the "new job project requires you to work those hours".

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polite-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a642aefb-ec3a-4dee-9dce-b8ac45df2431Post:991623ee-3265-4b8e-9671-9c426a774954">Re: What is a polite way</a>:
[QUOTE]Work obligations have become much more time consuming than I anticipated, so I won't be able to commit to future meetings. I've really enjoyed this experience (met wonderful people, etc), and I would love to keep in touch with all of you. Thank you so much for your friendship, support, etc. (This is best said with a cake or cookies, no one can get mad at you when sweets are involved.)
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

This. But I know where you're soming from I would feel weird lying to a <strong>church </strong>group.

Not to thread jack but did you post pictures Jasmineh?

PetraStonegirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polite-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a642aefb-ec3a-4dee-9dce-b8ac45df2431Post:991623ee-3265-4b8e-9671-9c426a774954">Re: What is a polite way</a>:
[QUOTE]Work obligations have become much more time consuming than I anticipated, so I won't be able to commit to future meetings. I've really enjoyed this experience (met wonderful people, etc), and I would love to keep in touch with all of you. Thank you so much for your friendship, support, etc. (This is best said with a cake or cookies, no one can get mad at you when sweets are involved.)
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

<div>Can I change my answer to this? Ever so much better than my cowards answer and it involved cookies!</div>

Celles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_polite-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a642aefb-ec3a-4dee-9dce-b8ac45df2431Post:b4ffeac5-6760-4515-ab34-aba885eccedb">Re: What is a polite way</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is a polite way : I would feel weird lying to a church group.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

Me too -- and I'm an atheist! 

I wouldn't lie.  I'd just keep it vague and open-ended:  "I don't have as much free time as I used to and I'm very sorry to say that I need to bow out for a while.  I've had a fantastic time and I hope to be able to rejoin when things have calmed down..." etc.

jasmineh7777

Jesus is totally cool with little white lies. He told me so.*Waits for lightening to strike me*

goheels05

The foods a good idea!

Ditto about lying at church, and also, two of my colleagues are members and it's pretty well known that my work only conflicts with my personal life from Jan-April. 

I had a good excuse last month, and I have a fairly good excuse tonight, so I'm leaning towards webster's idea. That's pretty good, and honest. 

pirategal03

I think, since it's only once a month, I would schedule somethine else during that time.  Even if it's a date with your husband.  So you can honestly tell them that you can't come this month because you have something else planned for the night.  And then next month say you can't come again, something else has come up that you can only do that evening.  An old friend is in town, your alumni group, something.  After a couple months, it probably won't come up unless they say "we've missed you lately at the women's group meetings!" and you can say "gosh, I know, I miss seeing you too, I've just had some other things come up and haven't been able to come"  And if it's someone you honestly miss seeing, here's your opportunity to schedule a lunch with that person or something to keep the connection, without locking yourself into the meetings.  Knowing your profession, I don't think they'll buy that you're suddenly busy this time of year.

BecW2be

How could you forget your other women's group that meets on the same night, Heels? You know, the one where the most important women in the community congregate to discuss events, charities and beautification of our area?*

*Meaning, you and I meet up, hang out, gossip, shop and talk house rennovations.

goheels05

Oh yeah, I'm so ashamed!  Sorry Bec. 

deepcovejackie

I was just going to say, could you get a knottie group going?