Hiring a "Gate Guard"????

ChrisChelsea10/08

So here's the deal. Me and My Fiancee can't stand his brother's "Fiancee". He is my FI best man since they are brothers but she is not invited. She has dissed there side of the family since day one and thinks she is better than everyone and knows everything. I can't stand people like that. Then what made me dislike her so much is she dissed the way my FI proposed and said it was lame. He did it in front of practically the whole town of austin, tx. He just gave her a ring to shut her up. Then the final straw for the whole family was there dad caught her kissing all over there roommate. Then she had the nerve to call him a liar even thought they were 10ft away! So needless to say the whole family doesn't like her but he is such a pushover he stayed with her. So my fear is that she will try to show up the day of the wedding as a guest. So would I be wrong to hire someone to stand at the enterance to make sure she doesn't come in?

nda_roxybabe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_hiring-gate-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:abdee8e5-6210-4103-8fd9-ade7d49491aaPost:d49390bd-ecaf-4068-9b61-1a6e78d7819c">Hiring a "Gate Guard"????</a>:
[QUOTE]So here's the deal. Me and My Fiancee can't stand his brother's "Fiancee". He is my FI best man since they are brothers but she is not invited. She has dissed there side of the family since day one and thinks she is better than everyone and knows everything. I can't stand people like that. Then what made me dislike her so much is she dissed the way my FI proposed and said it was lame. He did it in front of practically the whole town of austin, tx. He just gave her a ring to shut her up. Then the final straw for the whole family was there dad caught her kissing all over there roommate. Then she had the nerve to call him a liar even thought they were 10ft away! So needless to say the whole family doesn't like her but he is such a pushover he stayed with her. So my fear is that she will try to show up the day of the wedding as a guest. So would I be wrong to hire someone to stand at the enterance to make sure she doesn't come in?
Posted by ChrisChelsea10/08[/QUOTE]
Their not there.
She sounds like a brat but you not inviting her would be even more bratty. She is going to be family, you need to suck it up and invite her.

betrothed123

You need to invite her.  No matter how much you dislike, your wedding is not the time to make that statement. They are in a long term, serious relationship, so they are considered a single social unit.  You cannot break up a social unit.

If your FBIL loves her, and is planning to marry her, you're just going to have to get used to her.  After all, she'll be your SIL before you know it.  Stop judging their relationship.  It is none of your business.

bbyckes

You could page Cew and inquire about the taser she used.  I think it worked for her.  I even think they make "wedding" tasers that have the word "bride" on them.  If not, she'll end up making an ass of herself and it's not really your concern.  Let this go.

[Deleted User]

I'd be interested to hear more about this dissing you speak of.

nda_roxybabe

Oh, and I can't stand T's sister and her FI and right now he can't stand them either right now (she just kicked him out of her wedding...) even still, they will absolutely be invited to our wedding...they are family.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_hiring-gate-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:abdee8e5-6210-4103-8fd9-ade7d49491aaPost:d49390bd-ecaf-4068-9b61-1a6e78d7819c">Hiring a "Gate Guard"????</a>:
[QUOTE]So here's the deal. Me and My Fiancee can't stand his brother's "Fiancee". He is my FI best man since they are brothers but she is not invited. She has dissed there side of the family since day one and thinks she is better than everyone and knows everything. I can't stand people like that. Then what made me dislike her so much is she dissed the way my FI proposed and said it was lame. He did it in front of practically the whole town of austin, tx. He just gave her a ring to shut her up. Then the final straw for the whole family was there dad caught her kissing all over there roommate. Then she had the nerve to call him a liar even thought they were 10ft away! So needless to say the whole family doesn't like her but he is such a pushover he stayed with her. So my fear is that she will try to show up the day of the wedding as a guest. So would I be wrong to hire someone to stand at the enterance to make sure she doesn't come in?
Posted by ChrisChelsea10/08[/QUOTE]
I can't believe you still use the word diss.
Regardless of how you and the rest of the family feel, your wedding is not the place to hold grudges. How does your FI's best man feel about the fact that his fiancee (oh, and just becuase you don't like her doesn't mean she's any less engaged to the best man, so cool it with the quotation marks) won't be invited? It's really rude to split up a social unit like an engaged couple. Particularly an engaged couple that's immediately related to your FI and in your bridal party. You really should just suck it up and invite her. But if you don't, yes, having a watchman at your gate is a little excessive. You're not Tom Cruise. Even if she does sneak her way in if you don't invite her, chances are, she's not gonna ruin anything and you won't even notice her. Be the bigger person here.

ChrisChelsea10/08

thanks for everyone's opinions but thinking more on it she will still not be invited. It will ruin Fi's and my day he already gets so mad thinking about it. Who know's if he still will be with her, he's been debating leaving her and has been unhappy with her for 3 years but doesn't want to leave her cause he avoids confrontation everyway possible. So thanks for your opionons and thoughts.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_hiring-gate-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:abdee8e5-6210-4103-8fd9-ade7d49491aaPost:774e9bf5-3e15-4b2c-9638-e3110c69f00a">Re: Hiring a "Gate Guard"????</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for everyone's opinions but thinking more on it she will still not be invited. <strong>It will ruin Fi's and my day</strong> he already gets so mad thinking about it. Who know's if he still will be with her, he's been debating leaving her and has been unhappy with her for 3 years but doesn't want to leave her cause he avoids confrontation everyway possible. So thanks for your opionons and thoughts.
Posted by ChrisChelsea10/08[/QUOTE]
It will only ruin your day if you let it. What could she possibly do to ruin it?

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_hiring-gate-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:abdee8e5-6210-4103-8fd9-ade7d49491aaPost:774e9bf5-3e15-4b2c-9638-e3110c69f00a">Re: Hiring a "Gate Guard"????</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for everyone's opinions but thinking more on it she will still not be invited. It will ruin Fi's and my day he already gets so mad thinking about it. Who know's if he still will be with her, he's been debating leaving her and has been unhappy with her for 3 years but doesn't want to leave her cause he avoids confrontation everyway possible. So thanks for your opionons and thoughts.
Posted by ChrisChelsea10/08[/QUOTE]

Honestly if her being there ruins your day you're doing it wrong.  You won't have the time to notice her presence.  Take it from someone who's been there done that.

If he breaks up with her in the next 3 months (right around when your invites go out), don't invite her, but if you chose not to invite her and they are still together, you'll look like a child.  It's not that hard to be civil to someone you don't like, and if you refuse to invite her you're admitting you're not mature enough to be civil.

xoxob

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_hiring-gate-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:abdee8e5-6210-4103-8fd9-ade7d49491aaPost:f431732d-9db3-482d-a7bd-631a41eae044">Re: Hiring a "Gate Guard"????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hiring a "Gate Guard"???? : Honestly if her being there ruins your day you're doing it wrong.  You won't have the time to notice her presence.  Take it from someone who's been there done that. If he breaks up with her in the next 3 months (right around when your invites go out), don't invite her, but if you chose not to invite her and they are still together, you'll look like a child.  It's not that hard to be civil to someone you don't like, and if you refuse to invite her you're admitting you're not mature enough to be civil.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

Exactly.

And when/if they get married, how will you feel when you aren't invited? Which, if they make it to the wedding and I were her, I certainly wouldn't hesitate to treat you with the same lack of respect you treated me with.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_hiring-gate-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:abdee8e5-6210-4103-8fd9-ade7d49491aaPost:774e9bf5-3e15-4b2c-9638-e3110c69f00a">Re: Hiring a "Gate Guard"????</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for everyone's opinions but thinking more on it she will still not be invited. It will ruin Fi's and my day he already gets so mad thinking about it. Who know's if he still will be with her, he's been debating leaving her and has been unhappy with her for 3 years but doesn't want to leave her cause he avoids confrontation everyway possible. So thanks for your opionons and thoughts.
Posted by ChrisChelsea10/08[/QUOTE]

Oh. Well, why didn't you say so. If it will ruin your day, then that calls for drastic measures. Do you have access to a blowtorch and a set of playing cards?

andy71781

I think you need to be the bigger person here and show her how it is to be a classy bride.  Invite her and have the best day ever instead of having drama surrounding her.  Maybe appoint somebody to make sure she doesn't come around you or to keep an eye on the situation.  That might make you feel like you have some control over future dissing efforts.

nda_roxybabe

Then you're being a baby.

kikibaby

Here's the other thing: If your FI's brother ends up marrying this girl, she will be your BIL's wife.  Which means she will very likely be at family events.  So, you really want to do this?  It could make for a very uncomfortable Thanksgiving/Christmas/whatever down the road.

mRosenberg

OP can you please further explain this proposal mess? She made fun of your proposal? In front of every citizen of Austin? He gave you a ring to shut up?

nda_roxybabe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_hiring-gate-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:abdee8e5-6210-4103-8fd9-ade7d49491aaPost:3d6df607-3f6d-4f18-8439-269bc5b0e8f7">Re: Hiring a "Gate Guard"????</a>:
[QUOTE]OP can you please further explain this proposal mess? She made fun of your proposal? In front of every citizen of Austin? He gave you a ring to shut up?
Posted by mRosenberg[/QUOTE]

No, her (fsil) was given a ring by her FI to shut her up. I misread the Austin thing the fist time as well...
OP is saying that her FI proposed in front of the whole town of Austin and then FSIL called it lame.

xoxob

Austin is NOT a town and how does one propose in front of all million or so residents?!

...yes, I am stuck on this.

[Deleted User]

Maybe he pulled the town fire alarm and then they all went to their "safe meeting place" and that's where he proposed.

xoxob

Oh. That makes sense. Thanks Cew.

redheadfsu

Op You will be rude if you dont invite her. Both fsil and you are rude by judging each other's relationship. If you invite her, you are being a better person. If you dont invite her, you are equal to her. Please be the one that acts like an adult. If you dont people judge you behind your back. You wont even notice her on your wedding day.