Jack & Jill/ Couples shower/ why does it seem like such a no-no?

MrsH8611

A lot of brides I have talked to and said they hated having a Jack & JIll or couples shower and some have loved it. I know it is about having those close women there with you and opening your gifts... But I can't stand the fact of sittting in a big room with all eyes on me while as i open gifts hoping I give the facial expression they each want. PLus I would hate to make anyone who didn't or forgot to bring a gift feel out of place.

My groom IS VERY involved in all the planning and wants to be there every step of the way. SO ANY IDEAS ON HOW TO MAKE A COUPLE"S SHOWER FUN? & WHO EXACTALLY WOULD WE INVITE /> />?  I think my FL would enjoy it and it would be US opening OUR gifts and also gives more time for people who don' t  know us very well, to do so. Thanks in advance girls

Loopyseven

Jack & Jill's that I've ever heard of are more like fundraisers - where you charge your friends to come to a party as a way to make $$ to pay for the wedding.  It is not well regarded in a lot of cases around here - comes across as asking for money. 

A couple's shower is more like a bridal shower with guys too.  You invite your friends with their significant others, you invite your aunts and your uncles.  My grandfather came to mine (my grandmother passed away in January) and he also went to one for my cousin.  He got quite a kick out of going to a shower.  Have food, drink, socializing, and gift opening and people will enjoy themselves.  My cousins shower they did kareoke and had a blast.  Mine was more low key - but it was family and friends in my hometown who I don't see a lot of anymore, so it was nice to just eat and drink and visit with everyone in a more intimate setting than the wedding ends up being.

pixiedust84

It's okay to have a couples shower. The Jack and Jill is generally associated with a party where people buy tickets to come and all the money goes to the bride and groom. Tack-o-licious. But couples showers are okay as long as you don't host it and don't charge people to come.

My FMIL is throwing us a couple's shower which is very sweet of her. She's just inviting family and close friends and our WP. I get that the present opening is always a little awkward - one of our groomsmen is actually making a drinking game for when we open ours. (E.g - Drink every time we say "we love it" or whatever.) Not so conventional but we're weird like that.

Otherwise it's just a party so if your guests are fun then it will be fun! Just make sure that a) You and your fi are NOT the hosts and b) It does not cost anything nor is there any sort of fundraising done at the party.

MeaghanandMichael

Ditto what the other ladies said.

Also, couples showers are often more relaxed than a ladies only function. Often times they are more backyard bbq-ish or even activity centered like bowling.

Nebb

If you have a couples shower, just make sure your hosts dont have any lame games (i doubt guys like that, most women dont either) and no just make it a fun afternoon party. Also remember, you shouldnt invite anyone to the shower who isnt invited to the wedding.

Starmusica

I've never heard of a couples shower but with all my friends.. we throw a shower for the bride but the groom ALWAYS attends and helps with gifts, eats and hangs out. It's not a couples shower but hes the supportive groom... 

why not try that? I mean I guess I see it as totally normal because I have never been to a bride-only shower. The gifts are for you both... it seems mean to the groom.. My H felt uncomfortable at first but he had a blast with the gifts.

MrsH8611

ok thanks a lot girl! YA I had no clue the whole jack and jill thing was like that. OM G WOW. I can't imagine asking any of my friends and family to buy tickets wow. \

SO yes I totally mean a couples shower. And I love both the ideas of having him come and having just a relaxed shower where family members come too. Thanks again ladies!! You guys are always helpful!

Simply Fated

Why does it have to be a couples shower to make the shower more relaxed? Are girls incapable of drinking beer and eating bbq without men present? Are men incapable of opening presents? I just don't like gender roles and the assumptions that come with guys being at bridal (and baby) showers, I guess.

And of course I'm referring to couples showers, not the fundraising variety.

[Deleted User]

We did a couples shower. Most of the people that I know have them. We just do a bbq type thing. Very low key. We opened gifts in front of people and it was fine. Not uncomfortable at all.

We have a group of couple friends that threw the shower and then we each invited our immediate families and the WP.