NWR: Piercing a baby's ears

AllenBaker

So, this has nothing to do with weddings, but people always give good feedback here. This is something I'm honestly curious about as a girl who waited until she was 13 to get her ears pierced.

A friend of mine had a baby girl in February, and just put pictures on facebook. The baby has her ears pierced, but they do not look infected or anything, and they are kinda cute. But I just don't really get it. Why do people do this? It's something I've started to notice recently with the onset of my friends popping out babies.

What are your views on the subject?

mizri

My ears were done when I was 6 weeks old.  I've had periods in my life when I didn't wear earrings, and times when I do.  My daughter's ears were pierced at 8 weeks.  I've never seen the problem with it.  They haven't gotten infected and since it was done at a young age, she never messed with them.  Do I wish my mom had waited?  No.  I was able to voice my opinion on other things as I grew, and in high school, had my ears triple pierced.  That was my choice.  But to each his own.  FI would have no problem with his daughter's ears being pierced and wants to take her one day to have it done.  She's 3.  He told her mother when she was a baby that he had no problem with it.  But the father of her other two children was living with them and wouldn't let the older girl do it, so FI's daughter didn't get to do it.  I think that comparing pierced ears to dressing like a hooker is just pathetic and grasping at straws for justification to why you don't like it.  Oh, and did I forget to mention that my 3-year-old loves to put on makeup with her Nana?  I don't wear makeup myself, but when my kids are at my mom's, my daughter is right next to her while she gets her makeup on and my mom will put powder and lipstick on her.  Oh, no, she's going to be a teen hooker!!!  Don't judge unless you actually have kids to make the decision for.  And parents making decisions for kids isn't that uncommon...  We're actually expected to make the decisions.  Who knew?

salt78

I have friends that have done this. At first I judged because I'm a judgey bitch, but after awhile I became sort of whatever about it because they aren't my kids. I would never do it though.

What I do still judge is the girl I know that pierced both of her 4 year old son's ears. Epic fail.

mizri

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_nwr-piercing-babys-ears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b08a92da-13e5-4230-ac90-1e9c3c4ecf0cPost:4ce17930-4fad-40c6-8260-fb4981ba203a">Re: NWR: Piercing a baby's ears</a>:
[QUOTE]I have friends that have done this. At first I judged because I'm a judgey bitch, but after awhile I became sort of whatever about it because they aren't my kids. I would never do it though. <strong>What I do still judge is the girl I know that pierced both of her 4 year old son's ears. Epic fail.</strong>
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree.  I would never do my son's ears.</div>

gailpete

I think it is a decision the child should make.  My daughter had hers done when she was 10.  She had asked several years earlier and I said OK, but it had to be done at the doctor's office.  When we went the nurse explained what would happen and that she would do both ears, even if my DD changed her mind after the first one (she isn't a big fan of needles).  She decided to wait until she was older.

ggmae

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_nwr-piercing-babys-ears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b08a92da-13e5-4230-ac90-1e9c3c4ecf0cPost:218896ca-671f-47b7-b139-08d38a9c81d5">Re: NWR: Piercing a baby's ears</a>:
[QUOTE]::shrug:: It doesn't bother me but I wouldn't pierce my kid's ears until they're old enough to tell me they want it done.  I gotta tell you though, I used to work for a jewelry store that pierced ears, and it was a LOT easier to pierce the ears of a baby than a <strong>5, 6, 7 year old kid who swore up and down they wanted it done, then got one ear done and said "ohhh hell no!" and had a meltdown in the store.</strong>
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

This was totally me. I almost left the mall with one pierced ear, but my mom held me down while the woman pierced the other. I was such a brat.

I agree w/ Jenny. It doesn't bother me, but I wouldn't pierce my kid's ears. I'd wait until they were interested, and then we'd talk about it.

jedaniel

My mom pierced my ears when I was about 4 months old and I have had them pierced since then. I will for sure get my daughters ears done when she is around that age. I am also half hispanic, I don't know if that means anything, someone said it was cultural. I dont know about that I never asked my mom why she did it, maybe it was (she is full hispanic).

mizri

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_nwr-piercing-babys-ears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b08a92da-13e5-4230-ac90-1e9c3c4ecf0cPost:d0dab066-b62f-42fd-b518-64ad13674adb">Re: NWR: Piercing a baby's ears</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom pierced my ears when I was about 4 months old and I have had them pierced since then. I will for sure get my daughters ears done when she is around that age. I am also half hispanic, I don't know if that means anything, someone said it was cultural. I dont know about that I never asked my mom why she did it, maybe it was (she is full hispanic).
Posted by jedaniel[/QUOTE]

<div>I have no hispanic at all.  Full-on white girl mutt!  My mom got tired of people calling me a boy.  Even when I had a bow on my bald head and was wearing pink.</div>

aprovencher21

I find it rather pathetic for people to compare piercing the ears of a baby to that of letting a teenager dress like a hooker.  You people are that judgmental of other parents?? Do you even have children yet?  Often piercing of a baby girl's ears is a cultural thing.  I'm Italian (had my ears pierced at 3 months.....since my "trashy" parents decided to have my Dr of a father pierce my ears at his office <eye roll>) and I'd say 90% of the Italian baby girls I know have their ears pierced.  I think I'll pierce by hypothetical future daughter's ears when she's a baby.  I also think it looks adorable when baby girls have stud earrings of their birth stones or diamonds.  I still have my infant diamond stud earrings for my possible future daughters.  Also I wore makeup all the time as a toddler....I tended to get into the stuff anytime my caretakers turned their backs. 

Also, if parents follow the directions correctly with an infant and take care of the upkeep and keep in the screw on back type earrings then earrings won't fall out.  Would you judge a parent for having any cosmetic, low risk procedure done on a baby??

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_nwr-piercing-babys-ears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b08a92da-13e5-4230-ac90-1e9c3c4ecf0cPost:4ce17930-4fad-40c6-8260-fb4981ba203a">Re: NWR: Piercing a baby's ears</a>:
[QUOTE]I have friends that have done this. At first I judged because I'm a judgey bitch, but after awhile I became sort of whatever about it because they aren't my kids. I would never do it though. What I do still judge is the girl I know that pierced both of her 4 year old son's ears. Epic fail.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

Wow.  That's not a good idea.....

CLECyclist

I don't know. I just want to know... Why? I mean, it is absolutely NOT like putting makeup on a toddler, but unless it's actually for a cultural reason it IS a purely aesthetic thing that the child cannot consent to. Personally, that's my issue with it.

Unless the baby is in a dress or a feminine outfit, it's like piercing the ears is a reach to say "Look! Look! My baby is a GIRL! No more awkward and confused strangers who fawn over my baby, they will know for SURE!".

*shrug*

Do what you want to do!

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_nwr-piercing-babys-ears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b08a92da-13e5-4230-ac90-1e9c3c4ecf0cPost:022a3f6f-8a41-4841-b417-ed920564f3d2">Re: NWR: Piercing a baby's ears</a>:
[QUOTE]My ears were pierced when I was 4 mos old. My mother is Cuban, and she said it was a cultural thing. Does this mean that I will pierce my childrens ears that early? No. But I don't neccesarily judge someone who does it, nor do I think they are trashy. ::shrugs:: obviously my bias is personal experience, so...
Posted by mag920[/QUOTE]

I'm with mag, only my mom isn't cuban. 

I also still have the earrings that my ears were piered with as a baby and never dealt with losing them.

I honestly think it's easier to keep a baby's ears cleaner than a toddler. 

We haven't decided either way, but I don't think it's a huge deal if we get DD's ears pierced.  If she doesn't like them when she's older, she can take them out and let them close.  It'll leave a teeny scar that no one will ever notice.

I never understood making a kid wait until an arbitrary age to get them pierced.  That's more cruel, to me.

nyrek

I had my daughters ears pierced when she was about 6 months old.  I was 8 years old when mine were pierced and it hurt like flipping hell.  (Maybe I'm just a pussy.)  Regardless...I figured at that age, I could properly care for them...which I did, she had no issues with infections, and she loves that she has grown up just having it done and never remembering what it was like. 

Thought process behind it...same as why we circumcise little boys before they remember the process.  You typically don't wait for them to "ask for it"  but even that can be a cultural thing and many people have gotten away from it.  So to each their own.

(Also...when my daughter was a toddler, it wasn't the pierced ears that made her look like a hooker...it was the mini skirts, fishnets, heels, and unbottoned blouses that I made her wear.) :P  

BecW2be

I don't judge, and I certainly don't liken it to letting your teen dress like a hooker, but I do think it looks ridiculous and the only people in my area who seem to do this are trashy. My MIL took my older daughter when she was 18months old, and I was PISSED. I think it was the first time I ever cursed her to her face. My younger daughter asked at 7 and actually asked her dad to take her several times because she knew I would make her go through with it if I took her, and he wouldn't. LOL!  She finally got them pierced and took excellent care of them and we have the most fun picking out goofy earrings (no danglies yet). Her latest set is 4 different pairs of tiny sushi she wears every time we go out for sushi. 

It's not something I really even think about when I see other babies, but I don't like how it looks on them.

526SadieSadie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_nwr-piercing-babys-ears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b08a92da-13e5-4230-ac90-1e9c3c4ecf0cPost:218896ca-671f-47b7-b139-08d38a9c81d5">Re: NWR: Piercing a baby's ears</a>:
[QUOTE]::shrug:: It doesn't bother me but I wouldn't pierce my kid's ears until they're old enough to tell me they want it done.  I gotta tell you though, I used to work for a jewelry store that pierced ears, and it was a LOT easier to pierce the ears of a baby than a 5, 6, 7 year old kid who swore up and down they wanted it done, then got one ear done and said "ohhh hell no!" and had a meltdown in the store.
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

My dad wouldn't let me get my ears pierced until I was 8.  I got all excited when he finally gave in, mom took me to the store and I had a major malfunction/meltdown after the first one.  I would not let anyone near me to do the second one and went home with one earring.  Two days later Mom bribed me into getting the second one done and yeah, it hurt just as badly the second time around.  The piercing itself is actually crooked in my skin because I was pulling away so much, post earrings kinda point down in that ear now.  Oh well. 

Tinkx123x

I have a boy (NO piercings for him lol).  I don't think I would do it to my baby if I had a girl, but I don't see a problem with it for those who do. I waited until my little sister wanted hers done. We are 4 years apart and I felt like a wimp because I was too scared, and she wanted hers done. So we both got them done the same day when I was like 13.

skippylouwho

I hate seeing babies with pierced ears, or young children too.  Our daughter asked at a young age to have her's pierced and we told her not until she was 13.  The reason was that we wanted her to be old enough to take care of them herself - she wanted it, her ears - she should take care of them.

My daughter actually turned out to be a very mature, responsible kid so at 11.5 we let her get her ears piereced.  She took care of them, hasn't had a problem.

I believe kids should be old enough and mature enough to take care of cleaning them, etc themselves otherwise they don't get them done.

LeighPA

I'll do it when/if my daughter asks for it. And when she can take care of them herself.

tdso008

I went to school with two girls who had their ears pierced as infants, one from an Italian family and one from a Hispanic family.  BOTH had the most beautiful earrings, I was jealous that I didn't have pierced ears as well.

From what I've heard, infants don't have the hand control to mess with the earrings, which makes healing easier - as long as the parents are willing to do the proper grooming.

SparrowSong

I get that it's a cultural thing, but I still am thinking "tacky" whenever I see a baby with earrings. To me jewelry is cosmetic and cosmetic stuff is for puberty and beyond. I wouldn't put lipgloss or shoes with heels on a baby either.

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_nwr-piercing-babys-ears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b08a92da-13e5-4230-ac90-1e9c3c4ecf0cPost:2a9010c5-bf8d-4406-aeef-0c3c34c124f0">Re: NWR: Piercing a baby's ears</a>:
[QUOTE]I get that it's a cultural thing, but I still am thinking "tacky" whenever I see a baby with earrings. To me jewelry is cosmetic and cosmetic stuff is for puberty and beyond. I wouldn't put lipgloss or shoes with heels on a baby either.
Posted by SparrowSong[/QUOTe

Cosmetic stuff is for puberty and beyond?? Really?? So hair clips, bows, dresses, etc. any gender specific clothes or accessories (which are definitely cosmetic and are un needed) is for only during and after puberty?? Get real.

maria.pedroza

Is it cultural?

Mine were pierced the day I was born ( in Mexico).  

I didn't think pierced ears were sexy/rite of passage/ salacious until Stephanie Tanner rebelled and got hers pierced on "Full House", forcing her to wear her hair in Leia buns.

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_nwr-piercing-babys-ears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b08a92da-13e5-4230-ac90-1e9c3c4ecf0cPost:1af0d962-7ceb-4305-bc68-6593194428b5">Re: NWR: Piercing a baby's ears</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know. I just want to know... Why? I mean, it is absolutely NOT like putting makeup on a toddler, but unless it's actually for a cultural reason it IS a purely aesthetic thing that the child cannot consent to. Personally, that's my issue with it. Unless the baby is in a dress or a feminine outfit, it's like piercing the ears is a reach to say "Look! Look! My baby is a GIRL! No more awkward and confused strangers who fawn over my baby, they will know for SURE!". *shrug* Do what you want to do!
Posted by CLECyclist[/QUOTE]

Parents do plenty of things to children that they don't consent too.  I don't understand this obsession with consent over such a small thing as pierced ears.  Do you have as much of an issue with male circumcision??  I mean that is usually done for both cosmetic and health reasons and is clearly more of an invasion.

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_nwr-piercing-babys-ears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b08a92da-13e5-4230-ac90-1e9c3c4ecf0cPost:f57b20a0-577a-425a-9c32-7d36f3b7d4e1">Re: NWR: Piercing a baby's ears</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't judge, and I certainly don't liken it to letting your teen dress like a hooker, but I do think it looks ridiculous and the only people in my area who seem to do this are trashy. My MIL took my older daughter when she was 18months old, and I was PISSED. I think it was the first time I ever cursed her to her face. My younger daughter asked at 7 and actually asked her dad to take her several times because she knew I would make her go through with it if I took her, and he wouldn't. LOL!  She finally got them pierced and took excellent care of them and we have the most fun picking out goofy earrings (no danglies yet). Her latest set is 4 different pairs of tiny sushi she wears every time we go out for sushi.  It's not something I really even think about when I see other babies, but I don't like how it looks on them.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

That's awful!! I'd flip if someone else had my (hypothetical) daughter's ears pierced without me.

miah_23_ncb

whoa this is quite the topic. I had my ears pirces as a baby (im 24). Im pretty sure the only reason I got it done becaus it happened conveniently at the doctors office. NOt sure what I will do with my own kids. I think pierced ears are cute on babies.

fatchunk

i had both of my daughters ears pierced when they were babies. and they lived. haha....but seriously, i have two adult friends that dont have theirs pierced and ive asked them why. they said because they are too scared and wished it would have been done when they were babies. no joke. its not the end of the world. just a piercing. not like we're tattooing babies or anything. not to mention, its not very painful. ok, you may attack me now....

achilvere

I think it's absolutely wrong.  You are putting your child through pain because you think it will make them looke prettier.