Friday brides: were you surprised with the number of people who didn't come to the wedding?

shoegal715

I must have too much time on my hands. I'm starting to second guess my Friday wedding date selection. I initially picked it because we would get free hotel rooms, as well as $3,000 off. Most of fiance's family are teachers or retired teachers, so obviously a Friday in the summer would be no big deal for them.

I wouldn't mind taking a Friday afternoon off for my friend's wedding, but now I'm fearing that others don't feel the same way. The wedding is at 4:30, about 30 minutes away, in traffic, from home... With the traffic, it would probably be closer to 45 minutes or an hour. 

SO, after this long rant, my question is: to the brides that had Friday weddings - were you surprised with the number of guests who declined? Or did most people attend the ceremony? 

Steph0871

I"m kind of interested in this, as we're having a Sunday wedding. Not quite the same, but also not the typical Saturday night wedding.

zippityb

There are some people who I would take off of work to attend their Tuesday afternoon wedding. I find that if it's important to someone, they will find a way to attend.

I've taken a day off of work to attend a Friday wedding in another state. Not a lot of people attended, though.

aprovencher21

Personally I think having a wedding at 4:30pm on a Friday is too early.  Especially if with traffic, etc. guests are looking at an hour drive.  I guess it really depends on how well you know your guests.

I'm getting married on a Friday evening by at 6:30 or 7pm.  I picked the later time to give people more time to travel and since many guests are local they won't have to leave work too early.

carrieoz_76

I think if you're getting married on a Friday, the nice thing to do is to have the ceremony a little later - say, at 6:30 or so - to allow people to get there after work or with minimal time off from work.  My friend did this, and didn't have an attendance issue.  You might have more of one with a 4:30 start time.

katiewhompus

My wedding was at 3pm on a Friday and everyone showed up who I wanted to/ expected to. Most people took off all day Friday, then stayed in town until Sunday night to experience VA and hang out. I also had a lot of friends who worked retail so it would have been harder for them to get off on a Saturday than a Friday.

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_friday-brides-were-surprised-number-of-people-didnt-come-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b1a2b438-67d3-449c-b82d-0a2b62dd69aePost:04f6a3cc-8d08-4f3f-8694-329679f24baa">Re: Friday brides: were you surprised with the number of people who didn't come to the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding was at 3pm on a Friday and everyone showed up who I wanted to/ expected to. Most people took off all day Friday, then stayed in town until Sunday night to experience VA and hang out. I also had a lot of friends who worked retail so it would have been harder for them to get off on a Saturday than a Friday.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

See but that makes sense for you to have a wedding at 3pm.  You were planning for your guests.

melliott09

If you had invited me, and you were a close family member I would accept. But if just a mutual friend and I was short on vaca days at work, I may decline, or only make the reception.

I think 4:30 is a little too early for a Friday wedding.

katiewhompus

I think this is why it's important to know your crowd though. For most teacher's a Friday wedding during the summer wouldn't require days off. Same for people working retail who probably don't have regular days off regardless. The only time you really run into problems is if your guest base consist of the "normal" 9-5 crowd.

MeaghanandMichael

My friend from grad school has a Friday wedding and about half the guests came and twenty or so of them skipped the ceremony entirely. I am not sure if this is typical, but I know the reason people could not make it was because of getting out of work in time. Many people then felt bad only coming to the reception.

In my circle, people think it is nuts to suggest a Friday wedding so unfortunately I can see this attitude making it ever harder to raise rsvp rates regardless of how you logistically plan it out. Perhaps in other circles (like Katiehwompus said) a Friday makes more sense and there would not be a problem. But, trying to get on the Cape, into Newport, up to the White Mountains, or into Boston at rush hour is enough to make you go crazy.

I also don't think it is fair to expect people to take a day off from work/school for your wedding. To put them in the position of decidingwhether to lose pay or to not be there with you is tough.

Celles

I'd attend a 6:30 wedding, since it would only require leaving work an hour or two early (and who doesn't want an excuse to do that on a Friday afternoon?).  I would be unlikely to take half a day off for anyone who wasn't a close friend or immediate family member...  but I'm pretty selfish with my PTO. 

Lenore2010

As Katie said, the thing here is guest base. If everyone in your family and/ or his family for instance works in health care/hospitals just for a wild example there might not actually be a good/bad time. If most are 9 to 5 types you will get less guests unless the wedding is late on a Friday, anytime Saturday, or early on a Sunday. A lot depends on how many people are from out of town, too. Some "home town" weddings are destination for most of the guests and those always involve a little time off of work.

There really is no right or wrong time to have a wedding. Just take your guests needs into account with your own to maximize attendance. We just got invited to a Tuesday wedding. I was surprised, but we will be there. It starts at 6:00 PM so I figure with just an hour off I can come home, walk my dog, and get ready. We will leave by 10 no doubt but I usually leave receptions kind of early, even not on a work night. People who really want to come will usually be able to make time, and no way can you have a wedding that will please everyone.

texgal79

Agree with Lenore; it's really about knowing your guests and you might need to do a little more initial "research" to find out what will be easiest. You can't please everyone, though. I am the MOH for my first Sunday night wedding this weekend and have two more Sun night weddings this year.  It will be very interesting to see what the turnout is. 95% of the guests are OOT, and the couple is paying for the wedding entirely and they wanted to do a smaller, very nice, upscale wedding. They started with a guest list of 80, and from initial conversations assumed everyone would come, but Sun night issue has I think brought the number down to around 50 or so. Once people faced the need to take off a Mon from work (harder I think than a Fri for many) and arrange flights and child care, they started dropping like flies. We're doing her bach-ette party on Fri night, and I assumed all 12 of the girls who she wanted to come, would, since they come to town anyway for the wedding, but only 3 are coming, saying they can't take off both Fri and Mon to travel.

krdrbm1015

I'm a Friday bride.  My ceremony is at 4:30. With sunset times and the location of the ceremony, this is what makes the most sense.  I figure you can't please everyone.  There are people who won't come regardless, there are people who could make a saturday but not a friday or a friday not a saturday.  If its important to you that most of your guest list attends then you might want to put out some feelers and see if this would work for your guests.  Keep in mind thought that you are still a year out from your wedding and most people aren't going to be able to give you final answer even if they are expecting to be in the same job at this time next year.  For me all I care is that the reverend shows up to marry me to the love of my life.  Everyone else who is there to celebrate with us is just a bonus.  

Also as previous posters have said there are some people in our lives that we would go to a tuesday wedding for and some people we wouldnt go to their saturday wedding.  You just need to decide if its more important to save the money where you can or you really want most of your guests to be able to attend.  good luck! 

ricksang

We had 120 people say they could make it. Half of them showed up.

lharri12

My FI and I have two Friday weddings (on consecutive Fridays!) to attend in August.  The first is FI's college roommate, and FI is a groomsman.  The second is one of my friends since kindergarten.  We are attending both weddings, and I have to take the whole day off for both of them, which is a little annoying, but I'd definitely do it for them.  If it was someone I wasn't as close to, I'd be less likely to attend.  Agree with PPs that if you make it later in the evening so that people don't have to take the whole day off, you'll probably have better attendance.

shoegal715

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_friday-brides-were-surprised-number-of-people-didnt-come-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b1a2b438-67d3-449c-b82d-0a2b62dd69aePost:26bcee36-36bb-4faa-a976-b9631a651c93">Re: Friday brides: were you surprised with the number of people who didn't come to the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]We had 120 people say they could make it. Half of them showed up.
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

<div>Brutal! Did most people have a valid reason? Was it OOT? </div>

brookelynpaisley

For most people that didn't come to our wedding, the reason was travel. Not that it was Friday. And our ceremony was at 11:30. Everyone local took their half or full day off of work and made it.

thesuninherhead

I'd take time off without a second thought to attend a week-day wedding, but I'm lucky that where I work we have flexible hours so it wouldn't be a big deal. 

Marrin713

We had a Sunday evening reception and all 50 plus 2 showed up.  However, that's different than a Friday night what with work and all.  That being said, I'd be happy to start a 3 day week end with a wedding

Sloane99

I agree that this really is a know your crowd kind of question. We're having a Friday night wedding, but it's destination so people that can come would have missed work anyways and we only invited those that we were super close to/family. Also, ours is during the summer due to the large amount of teachers.

I honestly don't know that I would take Friday off for a friend's wedding. If I had the flexibility I would, but to miss getting paid for it, I don't know that we could do that. I also think that Friday nights feel a bit rushed even if the ceremony is later, you have to work all day and then rush home, get changed, do hair/make-up, etc. Plus I'm usually pretty tired on Friday nights but that could be because I'm old and lame.

K Byte

Hmm. If I were local, I wouldn't have a problem taking a half-day from work and coming to your late afternoon wedding. Out of town might be a different situation though ... =/ Honestly we had a Saturday wedding and still got SOOOO many declines. We have family all over and a lot of them didn't want to travel due to economic concerns. We got a somewhat decent response rate all things considered from the locals but we still invited 185 and ended up with only 106 Yes responses.

mattycam

Hello,

I think if people are given enough notice, there should be a good turnout. There will be guests that may not come to the ceremony but will come to the reception (for whatever reasons) but I know with our guests, we are sending save the dates so that they can make whatever preparations to ensure they are able to attend the wedding. I also think Friday weddings are a good idea because people still have the weekend to do other things! Based on the threads, a lot of you see ceremonies earlier than 6pm to be too early! I guess it depends on the invitees because our ceremony is starting at 2pm and reception starts at 5pm. Perhaps if we were having everything in one location we would have it later. At the end of the day, whether you get married on a weekday or weekend, if people really want to be there, they will be.

J&K10910

Not everyone is able to get days off.  For me, Friday is one of my days off so it wouldn't be a problem.  But FI works normal people hours so he'd have to take Friday off, and he can't always do that.  So no, I can't say I'd be surprised at all if a lot of people declined.  Then again, I think lately a LOT of people (no matter the day) have been having a lot of declines. 

Lenore2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_friday-brides-were-surprised-number-of-people-didnt-come-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b1a2b438-67d3-449c-b82d-0a2b62dd69aePost:fbde010f-0968-4088-9366-4a7ba0f8627e">Re: Friday brides: were you surprised with the number of people who didn't come to the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Not everyone is able to get days off.  For me, Friday is one of my days off so it wouldn't be a problem.  But FI works normal people hours so he'd have to take Friday off, and he can't always do that.  So no, I can't say I'd be surprised at all if a lot of people declined.  <strong>Then again, I think lately a LOT of people (no matter the day) have been having a lot of declines. 
</strong>Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

True, I do see that on the boards and all three of the weddings we attended thus far this year were having a lot of regrets. I think it has a lot to do with the economy. People do not want to buy new clothes/shoes/gifts to go to a wedding if they are unemployed or fearful of being so.