Snarky Brides

I want to strangle my sister

She is the most difficult person on the planet. Every time I come up with an idea for the BM she shoots it down with a rude comment. Usually it's "if you do that I will politely decline to be in your wedding" in a snotty voice. I have been more than accommodating with her annoyances to everything I like, but it's starting to get old. She insists she wear a huge gaudy peacock feather headpiece, whatever, not worth fighting over. She won't talk to any of the BM who ask her if she has any input for prewedding parties. Refuses to go on any of the outings we have planned for the guests who are from out of town during the few days before the wedding, which we are paying for. Which means she will be in my house alone, with her husband. If I know her she will make a huge mess and yell at everyone. I just can't stand it anymore. I really regret asking her to be a BM. I'm about to tell her to favuck off and drop out if she keeps it up.
Rant over
Insert question.
She wants to change out of her BM dress as soon as the ceremony is over. She says it's uncomfortable. She wore it for 5 minutes to try it on, but I understand she might not like wearing it.  I asked her to keep it on until after dinner. It would be nice if it at least lasted through the introductions. I paid for the damn thing and it wasn't cheap, she could at least wear it. Am I being unreasonable? Should I let her change before dinner? We are going from ceremony, across the lawn, to people finding seats and dinner within an hour. Introduction will be quick, then straight to dinner. It's not like I'm saying she has to wear it all night. Did any of your BM change and if so, do you wish they had not. Can you talk me off the ledge I'm about to push her off.

Sorry it got long
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«1

Re: I want to strangle my sister

  • 1.  If she wants to take it off, I'd let her pay for it.  I wouldn't mind too much if she took it off, but you're paying for it, which I think makes it a little different.

    2.  I'd probably just pick out one of the things she threatened to quit over and allow her to politely decline to be in the wedding party ;)

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  • achiduckachiduck member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited May 2011
    Sorry you're having such a touch time with her. It sounds like she's got the green-eyed monster on her shoulder.

    Regaring the BM dresses I don't think you're being unreasonable to ask her to stay in it until after dinner when the party gets going, especially since you paid for it. I've only been to 1 wedding where a BM changed dresses and it was back in 1997 when my much older cousin got married and she picked really unfortunate BM dresses - even for the 90's. Her BM was fairly young and just changed into pants and a top around 9 pm.

    EDIT: I love your sig picture - SO cute!
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    Anniversary
  • Sorry that you're going through all of this.  I think she should at least keep the dress on until after the introductions.  After that, let her do what she wants just to get her out of your hair.

    Do you think if you "let" her quit that it will be a quiet exit or a loud one?  Is she going to make a big deal about how you were such a bridezilla that she had to quit, etc, etc.  She sounds like a drama queen.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-strangle-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b2c66680-6f11-4066-9cd5-80c79de6f5eePost:043153eb-d0a4-40fa-a2e2-499668f7b6ac">Re: I want to strangle my sister</a>:
    [QUOTE]2.  I'd probably just pick out one of the things she threatened to quit over and allow her to politely decline to be in the wedding party ;)
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    Exactly what I was thinking.  If she would rather not be in your wedding than 'put up with' the things you want to do at your wedding, better to not have her in the WP.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


  • I'd let her decline.

    FWIW, it is common practice where I live for the whole WP to change clothes after the dinner, but that's because they expect to clean up the hall afterwards, and dance until they are too sweaty to be wearing anything good. 
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  • CellesCelles member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker

    I'd push her off, personally.


    Sorry, I'm no help. :(

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-strangle-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b2c66680-6f11-4066-9cd5-80c79de6f5eePost:23ef255a-e9ca-40d4-aca8-da50db1d5594">Re: I want to strangle my sister</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I'd push her off</strong>, personally. Sorry, I'm no help. :(
    Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]
     A cliff? Good idea!
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  • She is such a drama queen. If I "let" her quit it will be add to the huge civil war, which is already raging in my family. She will not go quietly into the night. She keeps telling me I should do this or that becasue she let us do it for her wedding. Which was much more low key. Her reception was at her MIL house, and she only had about 30 people there. No hired photographer, no dj, none of the stuff we are doing. In short, it doesn't compare to her wedding, but she keeps comparing it to try to guilt me into doing what she wants. Half the shiit she says isn't even true anyway.
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  • CellesCelles member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I was thinking of the ledge YIO is on, but cliff works too.  :)
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  • Maybe that's why she doesn't want to go on the outing to see Fallingwater the Thursday before the wedding. She knows I might push her into the river and off she will go.
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  • She sounds like a positive slore.

    Personally, I see no problem with her changing out of her dress.  People will ask her why, and when she tells them why they will undoubtedly think she is acting like a douchebag.
    panther
  • Thanks for helping me feel better everyone. As I was typing that I was starting to think I would be flamed to high hell because I sounded like a whiney brat. I will let her change, but she should at least wait until after dinner, there will be a lot of pictures being taken all night. She will be the one that looks like an jerk when she sees the pics and doesn't fit into the bridal party at all. I just won't put any of the pics of her in my special album<---said with a gratifying "I'm right" tone and a head whip followed by a hmph
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  • I'd take that bitch to Dover and push her off.
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  • My gawd, YIO. I would seriously kick her thefuck out. I know that's easier said than done because I'm not in your situation and am unable to know just what the consequences of that are. But whoa. That would really put me over the edge. I never snap, but that would probably be reason enough to, and it wouldn't be pretty.

    Maybe politely ask her to keep it on until after dinner and if she throws a tantrum over it, then just let the little whiney baby have her way. I can't stand when grown adults act like that. Ugh. I'm mad for you. I hope it all works out ok.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-strangle-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b2c66680-6f11-4066-9cd5-80c79de6f5eePost:68a139ea-cc7b-4107-9fd4-423b4afb1072">Re: I want to strangle my sister</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>She sounds like a positive slore. Personally, I see no problem with her changing out of her dress.  People will ask her why, and when she tells them why they will undoubtedly think she is acting like a douchebag.
    </strong>Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    This..all of it!
    ~a~
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-strangle-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b2c66680-6f11-4066-9cd5-80c79de6f5eePost:cd8a8f9f-624f-48aa-94db-081e3d93ad84">Re: I want to strangle my sister</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe that's why she doesn't want to go on the outing to see Fallingwater the Thursday before the wedding. She knows I might push her into the river and off she will go.
    Posted by Y I Oughta[/QUOTE]


    Oooh, can I come?  That's one of my favorite FLW buildings :)  I'll be your BM and wear any dress you want me to, lol.
    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-strangle-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b2c66680-6f11-4066-9cd5-80c79de6f5eePost:cb305f37-3d3a-4b48-baa5-99b20531c68a">Re: I want to strangle my sister</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I want to strangle my sister : Exactly what I was thinking.  If she would rather not be in your wedding than 'put up with' the things you want to do at your wedding, better to not have her in the WP.
    Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

    yep-I agree.
    Sorry you're dealing with that b.s. How inconsiderate. If you did have her in the wedding still, like J&K said, make her pay for the dress if she's going to wear it for a half hour and dislikes it so much. 
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  • I have a totally bitchy passive aggressive idea.  Let her change, but then pose for all sorts of fun bridal party pics and tell her that since she's not in her dress, she can't be in any of the bridal party photos.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-strangle-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b2c66680-6f11-4066-9cd5-80c79de6f5eePost:68a139ea-cc7b-4107-9fd4-423b4afb1072">Re: I want to strangle my sister</a>:
    [QUOTE]She sounds like a positive slore. Personally, I see no problem with her changing out of her dress.  People will ask her why, and when she tells them why they will undoubtedly think she is acting like a douchebag.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    Haha! Yep, exactly this. She'll only make herself look dumb. It sounds like because she didn't have a wedding with all of the usualy things that are kind of exciting and nice (like photography, or whatever) she might be jealous of you. Who knows...some people just enjoy making others miserable.
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  • Totally understandable, I just recently got engaged and am just planning this whole thing by myself, FI and I are paying for everything ourselves, and well I am not nor want to invite a sister of mine or a brother and his wife due to them being very destructive and really rude and abusive people in general. You just have to take it one day at a time and well roll with the punches and if she wants to be ugly, then let her see herself out of the picture, but do say as  much like I did with my own sister, if you want to be rude and disrespectful to me during the happiest day of my life, well then do I really need you in my life? Sounds bad, but it just might be her own wakeup call to see how ugly she's become in this whole planning.
    Anniversary
  •   Honestly I would just let her decline and be done with it! She has no real right to dictate your wedding by holding things over your head. If you do keep her around though I agree that if you paid for the dress it is not too much for you to ask for her to keep it on until the entrance and dinner are over.
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  • edited May 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-strangle-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b2c66680-6f11-4066-9cd5-80c79de6f5eePost:16824f9e-a735-460d-a262-54acb0ddc0dd">Re: I want to strangle my sister</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I want to strangle my sister : Oooh, can I come?  That's one of my favorite FLW buildings :)  I'll be your BM and wear any dress you want me to, lol.
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

    Can I go too?  I'll also wear the dress--all evening if you want me to.  :)
    C+D, Four kids, two kids-in-law, four grandkids
  • Want me to show up and out-crazy her?  Because, srsly....

     

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    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

  • Jem and Hays, I would be happy to have one of you replace her. Do either of you fit in a size 8 dress?

    Nuggs, I would love it.

    She wouldn't know what was happening if someone outside of our family stood up to her. She thinks she is a superspeshalsnowflake and the world is afraid of her. We really just give in so she stops bitching and whining.
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  • My sister was being the same way, and when she said "then I wont be in the wedding" my response was "Good I only asked you to be in it so mom wouldnt get mad" (Not true) but I got sick of her hurting my feelings, she apologized and agreed to just keep her big mouth shut, its ur wedding day tell her to shut her mouth or take a hike.
  • No offense intended, but screw it if she wants to make a loud exit, she clearly is a little rude, and if she wants to stomp her feet and throw a fit, let her, shes the one thats going to look like a complete ass, not you.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-strangle-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b2c66680-6f11-4066-9cd5-80c79de6f5eePost:85b8dff3-8f45-4165-87b2-ec72032d1292">Re: I want to strangle my sister</a>:
    [QUOTE]My sister was being the same way, and when she said "then I wont be in the wedding" my response was "<strong>Good I only asked you to be in it so mom wouldnt get mad</strong>" (Not true) but I got sick of her hurting my feelings, she apologized and agreed to just keep her big mouth shut, its ur wedding day tell her to shut her mouth or take a hike.
    Posted by Kmcgrail1190[/QUOTE]

    The bolded part is the real reason I asked her, so she or my mom wouldn't be pissy about it. I really don't want her in it after everything. Hopefully our sisters will back off and shut up. Good luck with yours.
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  • OBX2011OBX2011 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer

    Af of about 15 minutes ago, I'm right there with both of you.  My sister is being a royal douchecanoe and sadly, it's not even WR.  She is just a biotch to me constantly and I am really tired of her crap.  She has a very unique way of manipulating my feelings and somehow I feel like shiit yet she is the one walking all over me.

    Didn't mean to jack the thread or anything....just needed a mini-vent of my own.

    Ahhhhhh the joy's of having a crazy sister....lol

     

  • Damn OBX, that sucks. Maybe it's be mean to your sister week and we didn't get eh memo.
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  • OBX2011OBX2011 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-strangle-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b2c66680-6f11-4066-9cd5-80c79de6f5eePost:e4405742-48ab-4ef1-b0a0-536c5d7c1915">Re: I want to strangle my sister</a>:
    [QUOTE]Damn OBX, that sucks. Maybe it's be mean to your sister week and we didn't get eh memo.
    Posted by Y I Oughta[/QUOTE]

    bunch a biatches....lol

     

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