cash bar/open bar/no bar?

LoriAH11

So I was perusing some articles this morning and ran across this one. I thought it might be a good one to open up for discussion, seeing as a lot of us enjoy a good adult beverage. What are you thoughts?

http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2010/08/03/cash-bars-and-the-wrath-of-sober-wedding-guests/?hpt=C2

526SadieSadie

You really want to open this can of worms on this board?  You probably should have lurked a little more...oh well I'll sit back and enjoy the fireworks.

LoriAH11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:61b8b73b-0318-4bf2-9c63-b9edec9d1ce3">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]You really want to open this can of worms on this board?  You probably should have lurked a little more...oh well I'll sit back and enjoy the fireworks.
Posted by 526SadieSadie[/QUOTE]

I don't have a strong opinion one way or the other, so feathers aren't going to be ruffled by anyone's comments.

npasquale16

I just read this thread on E.  Personally, I hate cash bars, but everyone has their own budget and limits. I found the comments about Jesus and the wedding at Cana hysterical, though. 

"Jesus wouldn't even a tend a wedding without alcohol, he turned the water to wine, so if it is a religious event, and your religion is Christian, than it seems you MUST have some adult beverages! It would be offensive if you didn't!"

This really cracked me up.  I'm pretty sure there isn't some giant tally in the sky,
keeping score of which Christians hosted open bars and which didn't.  In any case, we're having one, so I guess Jesus would be happy.

LoriAH11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:f035b03d-d27b-40fd-a8f0-995a348aec1d">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just read this thread on E.  Personally, I hate cash bars, but everyone has their own budget and limits. I found the comments about Jesus and the wedding at Cana hysterical, though.  "Jesus wouldn't even a tend a wedding without alcohol, he turned the water to wine, so if it is a religious event, and your religion is Christian, than it seems you MUST have some adult beverages! It would be offensive if you didn't!" This really cracked me up.  I'm pretty sure there isn't some giant tally in the sky, keeping score of which Christians hosted open bars and which didn't.  In any case, we're having one, so I guess Jesus would be happy.
Posted by npasquale16[/QUOTE]

I know, right? That was probably my favorite comment, as well.

MarriedInAFever

We're also doing the open bar. For Jesus.

rak123

Let me see if I can sum up this debate:

Most people don't like cash bars,

Some people think they are OK.

People that think they are OK get flamed.  A lot. 

The end. 

npasquale16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:3244b410-0033-4f1f-9188-bc7f11f6863d">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]Let me see if I can sum up this debate: Most people don't like cash bars, Some people think they are OK. People that think they are OK get flamed.  A lot.  The end. 
Posted by rak123[/QUOTE]
You forgot Jesus. 

Nebb

I think cash bars + something (wine at tables, etc) are perfectly fine. I dont believe in having NO bar, but if you dont have the budget (and no, I dont think the couple should HAVE to pay for their guests drink) then a cash bar is perfectly fine as long as guests are informed (WOM) ahead of time.

[Deleted User]

I stopped caring about WR things after I got married.

Steph0871

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:98d10f5f-e169-4bc8-a306-74c520ebbed5">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think cash bars + something (wine at tables, etc) are perfectly fine. I dont believe in having NO bar, but if you dont have the budget (and no, I dont think the couple should HAVE to pay for their guests drink) then a cash bar is perfectly fine as long as guests are informed (WOM) ahead of time.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm just going to ditto this.</div><div>
</div><div>We are having only wine and beer, because our venue doesn't allow cash bars.   If it did though, we'd probably let everyone have the option of buying their preferred choice, instead of forcing them to drink only wine or beer.  That's how I see a partial-hosted bar.  There are free options, but people still get to choose any option they want.</div>

[Deleted User]

I don't care one way or the other about open and cash bars. I wouldn't utilize either. If I'm at a wedding, I'm drinking a Coke. Now, if the B&G don't provide Cokes, that's a whole other story.

sabatron

We're doing beer, wine, and a sangria fountain.  I see no reason to buy liquor, especially when most of the heavy drinkers are Irish.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:14ca07fb-3667-42e2-a093-f08c9d524307">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]We're doing beer, wine, and a sangria fountain. <strong> I see no reason to buy liquor, especially when most of the heavy drinkers are Irish.</strong>
Posted by sabatron[/QUOTE]

????

SarahPLiz

Someone is always going to complain about something. As long as its not Jesus, I don't care. 

LoriAH11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:79d65531-9189-4108-9d39-1ea32d5954d1">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar? : We were at a wedding last year that had comp wine only during cocktail hour.  Ater that everything, even soda/bottled water, was cash. I was appalled.  You talk about spending more than $30k on your wedding and you can't even  buy me a freaking soda?
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

Wow, yeah. I tend to be pretty indifferent about the alcohol situation.  For the love of all that is good my water or diet coke I better not have to pay for. Especially, if it is a $30k type of wedding.

[Deleted User]

OK, I'd be pissed if I had to buy a bottle of water or a Coke at a wedding. That's crazy. I've never been to a wedding with a cocktain hour, but to only provide a free drink during that time? Absurd.

FutureMrsFraser

We are having beer and wine, and paying for it.  We chose not to have liquor as it wasn't in our budget, and I'd rather just stop with wine and beer than ask people to pay for their drinks. We also have to pay a permit fee, hire an off duty cop, and pay an extra deposit to our venue if we have liquor, so it wasn't worth it to us.

ETA: We are also having unlimited non-alcohol drinks. I won't be drinking at the wedding because I don't like beer or wine anyway. I can't believe someone would charge for sodas! That's crazy.

npasquale16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:14ca07fb-3667-42e2-a093-f08c9d524307">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]We're doing beer, wine, and a sangria fountain.  I see no reason to buy liquor, <strong>especially when most of the heavy drinkers are Irish.</strong>
Posted by sabatron[/QUOTE]
What does this mean?

andyandhillary

Most weddings I have been to have been for Andy's family/friends and all of them have been dry and boring with no dancing pretty much.  After all that, I'd gladly pay for some booze.  I at least like to have the option. 

I had a full open bar for 4 hours.  After that it turned to cash.  It was what we could afford and it turned out pretty well. 

MarriedInAFever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:14ca07fb-3667-42e2-a093-f08c9d524307">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]We're doing beer, wine, and a sangria fountain.  I see no reason to buy liquor, especially<strong> when most of the heavy drinkers are Irish.
</strong>Posted by sabatron[/QUOTE]

Us heavy drinking Irish people prefer beer anyway. When's your wedding? I'll be sure to drop by.

MeaghanandMichael

I disagree Nebb with the sentiment about, "if you don't have the budget." When you sit down to make your wedding budget, the bar is part of it. It annoys me to no end when people buy their dress, book their reception and limos and then are all, "waaahhh my venue is too expensive to have an open bar." Ok dumbdumb, don't book there in the first place??

npasquale16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:3ee8e43d-cc4d-447c-8407-da2b4b0fb61d">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]I disagree Nebb with the sentiment about, "if you don't have the budget." When you sit down to make your wedding budget, the bar is part of it. It annoys me to no end when people buy their dress, book their reception and limos and then are all, "waaahhh my venue is too expensive to have an open bar." Ok dumbdumb, don't book there in the first place??
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]
I agree with this, although I do think this is a regional thing, as well.  I've never heard of a cash bar IRL; theoretically, I know they exist, but I've never been to one.  It wasn't even an option at our venue--every package was open bar.  FI, on the other hand, dislikes cash bars, but isn't at all surprised by them. He sasys they're fairly common and, after being on TK, I can see that they clearly are common in other regions.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:14ca07fb-3667-42e2-a093-f08c9d524307">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]We're doing beer, wine, and a sangria fountain.  I see no reason to buy liquor, especially when most of the heavy drinkers are Irish.
Posted by sabatron[/QUOTE]
<div align="left">
Did we just hit a time warp here?  How in hell are we supposed to read this - I think I hear great grandparents turning in their graves?  The Irish only drink liquor and we're all drunks? 

I'm going to return to the 21st century now.....</div>

melliott09

I think having a bar is part of a reception. I would be downsizing something else, to get an open bar if it was a budget issue.

Family and friends are coming to have a good time at your wedding. They (most likely) brought you a gift, sacrificed the afternoon/evening to attend your ceremony/reception, and now your asking them to bring cash to buy their own drinks..... Not cool!

september's bride

I think it's okay to "know your crowd" and host a bar accordingly. Friends of ours had a small-ish wedding and only hosted beer and wine, knowing full well that their guests would be quite content with that. I had a medium-sized wedding and hosted a full, premium bar because that's what my guests would expect and be content with. The same can be said for cash bars, to some extent. If that's the norm in your area/circle, then perhaps it's a viable option for you. 

I factored the bar into my wedding budget, because that's an important (if not THE most important) part of the wedding reception in my circle, and get irritated when people pull a cash bar on their guests because they've spent elsewhere. That's the only time I really get twitchy about it.

goheels05

I charged for tampons at my wedding. I'm hardcore. 

future-mrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:98fcff48-cde1-4d7b-a596-79931359be01">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar? : Us heavy drinking Irish people prefer beer anyway. When's your wedding? I'll be sure to drop by.
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]

x2

We're paying for coffee, tea, soda, beer and enough wine for toasting and maybe a  few more glasses.  I wish we could afford liquor, I really do.  I've been really toying with leaving it cash for liquor so people at least have the option but I HATE the idea of our guests paying for anything at our reception...

ETA: On one hand, regional is more true than most know.  The last wedding I attended everyone "threw down" for kegs of beer to "keep the party going"...no lie.  And when there ever was liquor, it was paid for by guests.  In our circle, liquor really needs to at least be an option if nothing else.  My dad was shocked he won't be able to bring his 47 bottles of whiskey at least to the wedding....uh yeah dad...not allowed, sorry. 

andyandhillary

I think you also, as a guest, should keep an open mind about the circumstances.  Maybe the B&G had a situation like Amoro where they intended to have a full bar but then the bank paid their mortgage three  times in one month.  I try to give them benefit of the doubt and hope that they had the best intentions of trying to make their guests happy. 

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cash-baropen-barno-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b7fcbdc6-f54f-4c5c-90a0-e10a52f32f26Post:3ee8e43d-cc4d-447c-8407-da2b4b0fb61d">Re: cash bar/open bar/no bar?</a>:
[QUOTE]I disagree Nebb with the sentiment about, "if you don't have the budget." When you sit down to make your wedding budget, the bar is part of it. It annoys me to no end when people buy their dress, book their reception and limos and then are all, "waaahhh my venue is too expensive to have an open bar." Ok dumbdumb, don't book there in the first place??
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

Sometimes you just dont have the budget for that. My husband and I scraped together everything we could and cut corners wherever possible so that we could afford what wedding we did. Sometimes it just isnt in the budget to let your guests have free reign at the bar. Not all brides are just selfish and dont plan properly.

lu27

Most of the weddings in our families are free beer/wine/champagne and the rest a cash bar. This is how most of our friend's weddings have been also. We will be doing free beer/wine/champagne and includng bride's and groom's choice. His favorite drink and my favorite drink will be on the house. Not quite a "signature" drink scenario,  but still gives our guests an additional option to beer/wine w/o having to break our budget.