I'd be judged because...

pixiedust84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:d4763b2e-89ec-4cba-a3ce-68c4f2da917c">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE] - My weight.  - The fact that I've been dieting for over a year and a half, and that even though I've lost 30lbs, I need to lose more.  - I love to eat and bake, even though I'm dieting.  - How much we spent on the wedding, even though it's average around here.  - <strong>That I'd love to be a SAHM, even though I'm good at my job.  </strong>I hate getting up early to go to work.  - That I'm immensely jealous of my best friend.  She and her DH make so much more than we do, more out of luck than anything else, and that she and her DH pay 1/3 the rent that we do because they're technically living in their co-op illegally.
Posted by saisongbird[/QUOTE]

Me too! I rock my job and like supporting myself financially but I work such long hours and nights and weekends - I could never do that with a child! My Mom was a SAHM as is my cousin and I could so see doing that and feeling fulfilled.

pixiedust84

PS - Saisongbird, your hubby is hott! Is that weird for me to say? :-)

saisongbird

Pixie - no, I think he's hot too!  Everyone kept telling me at the wedding and when they see the pictures that they thought he looked like a movie star.  :-D

allisong23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:9aba9109-0de5-4760-a473-fec6039c3de9">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'd be judged because... : This exactly.  No one in public knows I've been on high dose steriods and other meds for 4 years.  No one knows that my blood pressure and cholesteral are low and probably healthier than a majority of them.  I also run 5 miles 5-6 times a week....and kettlebell train.... but you can't tell because half the time I'm bloated from chemo or swollen from steriods.  Its frustrating and hurts.
Posted by aprovencher21[/QUOTE]

Oh Apro, I  understand. Since my original dose of IV steroids for my MS, I have gained 30 pounds. Until you have taken them, you have no idea how they mess with your system and metabolism.  I hope you get off them soon!

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:b38d0ad9-7a84-41ab-815c-b4272d7e1d85">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'd be judged because... : Oh Apro, I  understand. Since my original dose of IV steroids for my MS, I have gained 30 pounds. Until you have taken them, you have no idea how they mess with your system and metabolism.  I hope you get off them soon!
Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]

Ugh I'm sorry you had to go through them as well.  They really are a miraculous medication for how much they can help......but jesus the side effects are hard.  I'm not saying I'd rather be sick but still I agree that many people cannot appreciate the difficulty some medications cause.

I'm so excited to see your wedding photographs.  How are you feeling??

jasmineh7777

Saisong- Congrats on the weight loss. That is fantastic!

Aprove- Steroids are the devil. I had to get my ring sized up after I started my daily asthma steroids. I can't imagine being on as many as you are. They also make me act fuucking nuts.

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:28dd9ac9-98cf-44f1-8d4f-1ab32f68779a">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]Saisong- Congrats on the weight loss. That is fantastic! Aprove- Steroids are the devil. I had to get my ring sized up after I started my daily asthma steroids. I can't imagine being on as many as you are. :( They also make me act fuucking nuts.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

=) I somehow cannot imagine you acting nuts.  Steroids make me unable to sleep and aggressive.......

allisong23

Feeling stressed! I am working a half day tomorrow (well, a full day really since I am going in early to get everything done that I need t do), then I pick up FMIL at the airport. FI and I have hair appointments at 5:30, then we will go do dinner with his mom, then shoot down to the Cape! I still have to do seating, make place cards, get all the setup info together for the planner, etc. etc. We have done almost no planning for the honeymoon (going to Ireland) and we really need to get started!

nda_roxybabe

Not sure if I'm too late to the game....

-That T and I are still not married. I think some of our family and friends find it odd.
-Being thin but not being happy with the fact that I'm not toned
-That I dropped out of college and don't have a real career now
--That T doesn't work and I take care of everything
-How bad we are with money
-That I go on vacation all the time

jasmineh7777

Isn't T in school Roxy? Or have I made that up in my mind?

Aprove- I go from yelling to crying in .05 seconds.

nda_roxybabe

Jas- He is. Still, I'm pretty sure people judge it

Nebb

Hah well rox people are going to judge if you dont include the fact that he is a student in that sentence. Just saying he doesnt work makes him sound like a deadbeat, not working because youre a student is a completely different story.

brookelynpaisley

I have designer mutts that I bought from a breeder
My tattoos
I don't recycle, have reusable grocery bags, or eat organic

JennaV26

Saisongbird - off topic but how did you make your ticker?? I've tried to make one that counts how long we've been married but I can only ever get it to countdown?

Also - I'm pretty sure I will one day get judged for being a SAHM. My mom stayed at home and I've always wanted to. I will probably continue to work after I have my first kid (years and years from now hopefully!) but by the second our plan is for me to stay home. People seem to look down on women for doing that but if you can, why not?

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:60f00d5d-e43a-4168-bb5d-d188c2407001">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]I have designer mutts that I bought from a breeder My tattoos <strong>I don't recycle, have reusable grocery bags, or eat organic</strong>
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]
omg the earth and 75% of the nest are crying right now! You awful awful person!!

Steph0871

Brooke- just out of curiosity... why don't you recycle?  We have to here... in 4 different bags.

saisongbird

Jenna - on TN when you make your ticker you should have the option of counting down to your next anniversary or counting up from when you've gotten married, if that makes sense.

brookelynpaisley

For one, we live in an apartment. It's not possible to recycle in this city if you don't have a house and therefore your own trash service. Also, I guess I'm honestly just lazy. We don't buy canned soda or bottled water. The only thing we'd really recycle is paper and glass. I don't have reusable bags because I use grocery bags for dog poop. Okay, so maybe I recycle those.

Despite the fact that we eat pretty healthy at home, I'm still a size 12. DH is heavy too, despite my best efforts to feed us as nutriciously as I can. I admit I'm lazy and don't do much about it, but it still kills me and I hate seeing pictures of myself. However, as we eat pretty healthy and mostly stick to proteins and veggies, we don't have a lot of container-related recyclables, either.

nda_roxybabe

Good point Nebb.

T is in school for his CCNA (computer networking) its a CISCO certification. He takes the big test tuesday! Wish him some serious luck

JennaV26

Oh man, does this mean I have to make a journey over to TN?! Scary!!

But thank you!

misskathryn

-Me and FI already have a son
-we weren't engaged till he was 6 months old
-I'm only about to turn 21
-my wild past (not sexually)

jasmineh7777

Good luck T! I didn't know he was a computer tech. My H is as well.

Kathryn, congratulations! What's his name?

Miss_Sophia

I'd be judged on living in sin too. Shoot my parents got married at 19 and 20 and had me a year later. I don't judge on age dude, if it works great, keep doing what you're doing. But no matter the age it takes a special couple, in communication, trust and love to make it together in this day and age.

Nebb

Saison, if you see this, I just want to say that while your sig pic is nice, its a tad big. Could you resize?

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:04725a2b-d790-4139-9507-3192c327165b">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]- <strong>I overdress for everything</strong> - How much I go out each weekend - How much our wedding cost - I talk to my dog - I dance in my car.. big time - I go out with my hair wet to run errands because it's naturally straight so I like to avoid drying it whenever possible
Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]
<p> </p><p>Me too! My friends joke about it, it's so bad... Aside from on some weekends, when I'm lazy and need to get something from the corner store, during which I'll head there in cat-hair covered clothing with dirty hair and sunnies covering my face to grab bread and run out of there and back home into my PJs, haha. Thankfully, no one knows me at the corner store! lol.</p><p>- I am also judged on being thin.</p><p>- I think some of my extended family judge me on my continued study, but I don't really care that they're unable to understand why I want to do a PhD. </p><p>- Within my career, I'm judged by some people on my age. I'm younger than other people in similar positions, but I've worked hard to ensure I'm qualified for this role. Sometimes people (particularly those who have children my age) can't help but treat me as a child rather than a professional (this isn't in malice- but more like they see me as one of their kids and treat me accordingly) and that can be really frustrating.</p>

marinabreeze

Good thread :-).  There are some things that I (and FI) have been judged on:

- I'm still in school - I've been in graduate school for seven years.  I'm in a PhD program, and I took a year off back in 2007 to help my mother transition after my father died.  I'm finally looking to finish this year.

- My weight.  Part of it is inconsistency in terms of exercise and diet, part of it is long-term effects of asthma steroids (the doc that told me steroids wouldn't make me gain weight totally lied), and PCOS - which was why I gained a lot of the weight and then couldn't lose it even when doing weight watchers and other diet and exercise programs by the letter (and didn't know why I couldn't lose weight and so gave up for a while).  Now I'm on medication that helps with the PCOS and has allowed me to see weight loss results with correct diet and exercise. 

As an aside, I agree that it is kind of annoying when people think that weight automatically equals health.  I have always been a chunky person, but even as a chunky person, I was a student-athlete in high school, both in track and basketball.  I don't play sports nowadays, but I still walk quite a bit, and FI and I like to play basketball when the weather permits.

Anyway, back to judgement...

-  FI is in his late 20s and still lives at home.  He's in school, and he also shares a caretaker role with his dad for his disabled grandmother.

- FI was homeschooled as a teen.

- I didn't choose to be with someone with the same amount of formal education as I have.

- Both me and FI grew up without our birth mothers.  My dad remarried when I was a baby, and my FI was raised by a single dad and paternal grandparents.  Neither of us met our birth mothers until becoming adults.  I agree with PPs that mention that judgment *should* be with the absentee parents, but sometimes people do assume that you will have "mommy"/"daddy" issues or you can't form a healthy relationship due to having an absentee parent.  Sucks but sometimes people do think that way.

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:e4076a45-1b5a-44b2-8092-becda21a1a56">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]Good thread :-).  There are some things that I (and FI) have been judged on: - I'm still in school - <strong>I've been in graduate school for seven years.</strong> 
<p>Posted by marinabreeze[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>Trust me, you're not alone. Next year will be my 6th year of PhD enrolment (although to be fair, I did change my area of study mid-way through), and some of my friends from the first PhD program I enrolled in are still studying towards theirs- a few of them in their 8th year. It might seem bizarre to outsiders, but to those of us in the PhD world won't bat an eyelid!</p>

JenGin74

Tim knows all of my deep, dark judge-worthy secrets, and I know his.

I think, overall, I'm a really good person, but I know for a fact that I would be judged by things in my past (which is why Tim is the only person that knows all of it). I don't really open up to people all that often because I'd like to keep the friends that I have.

I also don't think it's fair to be judged for your past, but I know it happens. If I'm being judgy about someone it's for something that they're currently doing (although I'm not sure that's much better)

I just rambled a lot, huh?

misskathryn

Thanks His name is Bradon Wayne He will be one this month =]

zippityb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:1d3aafe6-29f0-4645-9571-db43605b9361">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI and I are judge because we have gone against standard gender roles I am a female in the army (not uncommon) and he is a hair dresser. Everyone laughs at us when we tell them
Posted by Brooklclark[/QUOTE]

My hairdresser is a straight male, and he does an amazing job on my hair. His girlfriend also does hair in the same salon.