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How would you handle this?

Okay I'll try to not make this a novel, no promises. Backstory here: http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alright-need-opinions-nwr

Cliff's of link: Friend of a friend flirting with my BF, says she wants to go home with him, I am not happy.

New developments: So I have kind of distanced myself from K (my friend). Haven't really seen her except at a party for another friend, so not really the right time to talk. I get a text message: "Are you and (my BF) fighting over S (her friend that hit on him)? She just called me upset about it."

My BF works with the DH of a friend of S. BF told him what happened, who told his wife, who called her. Stupid stupid gossip. She calls my friend K and says she heard that we are breaking up over her (um, no), why am I upset, blah blah blah.

K calls me, I explain why I'm upset, no big deal, me and this girl weren't friends in the first place, I just don't want to be around her. Me and K work out some of our issues, we are akward but ok.

Today S shows up at BF's work with her friend (the wife of his work buddy). But work buddy has the day off today. BF went to work in the office, said he was busy and didn't talk to them so he doesn't know what they wanted

So now BF wants to say something to his work buddy, basically what the hell is his wife doing pulling this crap with her friend. I think obviously she's just trying to upset me, and that will just make it worse. I don't enjoy all of this dramatic gossipy crap so I think if we just let it go eventually it will go away. There are more things she's done but this is just the gist of it. WWYD?

CN: Friend of friend seems to be pursuing my BF, with the help of wife of BF's work buddy. BF wants to say something to work buddy but I think it will make it worse. WDYT?
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Re: How would you handle this?

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    She sounds like a butthead.  I'd make out with your bf in front of her....like hardcore make out, groping, tongue, pull out all the stops.  Make everyone uncomfortable.
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    Jesus, that's some high school drama.  Your bf can ignore her.   If she blatantly comes on to him, he can tell her he's not interested.  Do NOT, unless she gets stalkerish, involve anyone at work in this drama.  Your bf's co-worker is not responsible for what his wife does, much less responsible for what his wife's friend does - pulling him into this just = that much more drama. 
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    salt78salt78 member
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    At this point, I'd probably not say anything at all, let it go and keep your distance from her. If she keeps being stalky, then I'd reevaluate.
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    I don't know if he should bother saying something to the husband. If I were him and she came around again, I would blatantly say, "I am not at all interested in you. I am in a relationship. I do not want to see you or talk to you. Leave me alone."
    If he is that direct, she will probably be embarrassed and knock off the crap.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c72d9f1f-4e27-47ff-a7de-012400d17c39Post:f7f14fed-119d-47b5-8aa4-863f8fa0e721">Re: How would you handle this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Jesus, that's some high school drama.  Your bf can ignore her.   If she blatantly comes on to him, he can tell her he's not interested.  Do NOT, unless she gets stalkerish, involve anyone at work in this drama.  Your bf's co-worker is not responsible for what his wife does, much less responsible for what his wife's friend does - pulling him into this just = that much more drama. 
    Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

    This is kind of what I am worried about, it turning into a problem at work. He is mad at his work friend, but I told him I'm sure the poor guy didn't realize this would happen and you can't fault him for telling his wife something.

    I honestly feel like this girl thrives on the drama of it all and will back off soon if we don't react. I think he is just worried I'm upset and feels like he needs to do something right this second to fix it. I just don't like the high school bs and if he says something to his friend, I'm sure he will again say something to his wife, and it just drags it out.
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    NebbNebb member
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    The wife sounds like an absolute douche.
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    What the hell is wrong with people?
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    I think you have the right attitude about it all - just roll your eyes and ignore. 

    One thing, though:  you don't really know why they were there.  It may have had absolutely nothing to do with your boyfriend.  I can think of reasons I'd stop by the office even if fi wasn't working that day, other than to flirt with someone at the office.  You might be right about their intentions, but you don't know for sure, so that's just one more reason not to mention anything to the husband and just let it die. 
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    Please don't take this the wrong way, but how old is everyone?

    I don't really think there is anything else you can do besides ignore the behavior.  If you trust your BF, then there really isn't an issue.  I don't mean to minimize your pissed off-edness, I would get annoyed too.

    K sounds like she thrives on gossip and drama.

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    CantiaCantia member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_would-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c72d9f1f-4e27-47ff-a7de-012400d17c39Post:3f3db671-fc62-49fa-a02c-8af521c59da6">Re: How would you handle this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know if he should bother saying something to the husband. If I were him and she came around again, I would blatantly say, "I am not at all interested in you. I am in a relationship. I do not want to see you or talk to you. Leave me alone." If he is that direct, she will probably be embarrassed and knock off the crap.
    Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

    <div>Exactly this. That'll make her cut the crap.</div>
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    And I can definitely do that Shelly! Except I am kinding of getting the feeling that it isn't even about him anymore, it's about pissing me off.

    And yes Nebb, I thought so too. We have hung with them before and I always thought she was really sweet at first I thought it wasn't intentional and it was just what she thought was harmless gossip, but it just seems like they both are trying to cause trouble now.

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    OWN-I thought of that too, just adding it all up seems pretty suspicious. They work at a restaurant, the wife probably knows other people there and could have just wanted to say hi (they didn't eat or drink anything, just hung out for a while). But on top of that, S has asked K for BF's number (to call and apologize because she's just feels so bad, but not to me, for some reason she only feels the need to call him) and she has added him on FB (after she knew about all this) but not me and made a big deal to K that he didn't accept. I think if she honestly wanted to work it out and all be buddies she would talk to me, not him.

    And besides all that, I don't really buy that she is upset I don't want to be friends with her. I have been friends with K for about 6 years, they have been friends since childhood, and we have met S maybe 5 or 6 times. It's not like we were any more than acquaintances before so why does it even matter if I don't like her?
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    ... how old is everyone? I'm genuinely curious.
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    Sorry SP, I missed your post. I am 25, K is 24, and I believe S and the wife are also 24 but I'm not positive. I know they are at least within a couple years of K because they all went to high school together.

    I know, we are way to old for this kind of crap, which is why I just want the quickest way to end it. I just don't understand girls like this.

    And I definitely do trust my BF, honestly in the beginning I was more irritated with the stuff with K, but this girl just bugs me. BF has just avoided her so far, but I think Jasmineh (and someone else I think) might be right that him just telling her to go away might be what needs to happen.
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    Ditto what you just relayed.  She seems really immature.  I agree with pps about having your BF just voice a strong, "NO, I'M NOT INTERESTED" and hopefully she will go away. 

    On the flip side, I also don't think there is anything wrong with ignoring her.  Your BF might not even want to acknowledge her or her crazy behavior.  She's the one who looks like a stalker 15 year old!
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    I agree that you should just let it die, and if she approaches him again he should just say "I'm not interested in you, I am in a relationship with Ama and want to be with her. Leave me alone."

    She probably just wants to rile your relationship up so much that you guys split. Don't give her the satisfaction of even worrying about it.
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