So I posted this in the "Etiquette" forum, but without the big question. My childhood best friend called me within fifteen minutes of getting engaged, before she even called her own brother, because I was there when she met/ started dating/ broke up with/ (much later) got back together with her now fiance. She lives far away from me now, and I wouldn't have even expected an invite (we've lived 800 miles apart for five years, though we talk all the time) if not for her literally saying that we (me & my now fiance) should stay take a week off and stay at her new house for her wedding. She mentioned me being MOH, but I chalked that much up to her excitement about being engaged. Really, her friend (we'll call Jen) has been closer to her than I have in the last 7-8 years. Jen was her roommate, and I'm really just an old friend. She has friends who know her better than I do now, so I had no expectations.
She's called me to keep me apprised of EVERY wedding plan. We've had no harsh words...and why would we? We're just old friends who make weekly phone calls. But I never received an invite to her wedding (in 3 weeks) and she never mentioned NOT inviting me.
I brought this up a while ago, as anonymously as I'm doing here. I never made remarks about NOT being invited, or complained to anyone but the Knot. I just asked for input because I was hurt. I've dealt with it, and chalked it up to life experience and people moving on. I'm a little sad, but I'm okay with it.
What bugs me is something that shouldn't...some snarky brides who won't admit to being snarky told me that I was being childish and immature to choose NOT to invite her to my wedding. I'm all for "rising above things," but I think that's pretty silly. She verbally invited me, then carefully dodged the fact that she effectively "un"invited me without explanation. Even if I was inclined to invite her, hasn't she demonstrated that we're not really "friends" anymore, and that we're merely old acquaintances? Furthermore, wouldn't it be considered poor form to invite someone who would have to travel 1000 miles if you're not explicitly close? Inviting her before this would have been a no-brainer before this, but now, I don't feel like we're close friends anymore, and inviting her might actually look bad (gift-seeking, or whatever).
Any opinions? I'm past my self-pity. Now I'm just trying to be both practical and polite.