One of my groomsman :(

susieq87

My FI cousin, who I love very much, who is also one of our groomsman, will be deploying to Afghanistan in December, which is 10 months before our wedding. The army says his deployment will last 8 months-1.5 years. I wanted to do something special if he wasnt going to be there. So, I thought saving a seat for him at the head table and tying a yellow ribbon at the top of the chair, tying a flag up in the ribbon. Does this sound good, or do you think it would bring down the mood of the wedding? I just want to remember him and have his as a part of our day, even if he isnt there physically.

[Deleted User]

I think it sounds really nice.

tidetravel

If I didn't know the full story, I would think that ribbon + empty chair = died in combat.

Maybe just a note in the program?

maratea

I think it sounds like a nice idea too, and I think your guests will understand and view it as a nice gesture.

[Deleted User]

Oooh. Good point, Tide. Are yellow ribbons used for soldiers who have died too or does it just symbolize them being away?

katiewhompus

I think put it there but include in the program that he is just overseas and hasnt' passed away. If I saw a rose in an empty chair I would think deceased as well

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_one-of-groomsman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d303e90a-fcca-435e-a76c-29602d9f40f8Post:19f8cec3-59a6-4520-8271-90b29f2f14c5">Re: One of my groomsman :(</a>:
[QUOTE]Oooh. Good point, Tide. Are yellow ribbons used for soldiers who have died too or does it just symbolize them being away?
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
I don't know, Cew.  But the empty chair is what would make me think that he passed on.

Maybe your GM can wear yellow ribbons incorporated into their bouts, instead.

Steph0871

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_one-of-groomsman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d303e90a-fcca-435e-a76c-29602d9f40f8Post:200bd9c3-aec7-4f9b-ad20-91956e9fa8b0">Re: One of my groomsman :(</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: One of my groomsman :( : I don't know, Cew.  But the empty chair is what would make me think that he passed on. Maybe your GM can wear yellow ribbons incorporated into their bouts, instead.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I like this idea a lot more.  I ditto the idea that empty chair = deceased in my mind. </div>

Steph0871

BTW: It sounds like the yellow ribbons are more of a remembrance of those who are serving right now, not just those who have passed...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_ribbon

npasquale16

Or maybe just mention in the program or if you're having a blessing before dinner?  I ditto everyone els with the empty chair=deceased to me.

katiewhompus

Yellow ribbon is supporting those in service, but the rose combined with empty chair makes me think death of a soldier.

I love the idea of working yellow ribbons into the bouts.

[Deleted User]

For me, the yellow ribbon would mean that we are waiting for him to come home. So, I guess the question is do your guests know this guy and will they know he is serving in Iraq and is not deceased? If not, it might be better to leave out the empty chair since it has the capacity to lead people to believe he passed away. If that's not a factor, then the chair would be nice.

susieq87

Good idea about the bouts. I never thought of that.  And since most of the other groomsman are his cousin too, I  am sure they will love the idea!

kpwedkk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_one-of-groomsman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:d303e90a-fcca-435e-a76c-29602d9f40f8Post:bcfec40d-6c85-4ede-a17f-0063a198781f">Re: One of my groomsman :(</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd put a note in the program (maybe with a picture) that says he's unable to be there, you're thinking of him on your wedding day and ask that those at the wedding keep him in their prayers.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

Also, carry a picture of him in your bouquet - like a locket or something? 

brookelynpaisley

Whatever you feel appropriate for you is the right thing to do

We put a note in our program about our friend who would have stood with us that day.

RecoveringActor

Ditto on empty chair would think deceased, though yellow ribbons are just support for troops in combat.  When my uncle was overseas during the Gulf War, we had a yellow ribbon on our door in support of him.  I have many family members who are military (mostly Marine, but some Army as well) and I definitely think some tribute would be lovely.  Having yellow ribbons in the boutonnieres and bouquets would be lovely.

Knittibell

I really love the idea of the yellow ribbons in the bouts and bouquets. The empty chair would make me think he was maybe deceased. Also you could have a favorite song of his dedicated and have the dj/band say this is in honor of your cousin, who is away and fighting, and we're all thinking of him- and then play a fun song he loves.

When he comes home, he'd probably get a kick out of that, seeing the video/photos.