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XP: RSVP's, breakups, tough spot

monique026monique026
10 Comments
in Snarky Brides
Our wedding is less than 3 weeks out - all the RSVP's are in, and final headcounts have been made.

However, in the last couple weeks we've had several couples that were supposed to be attending our wedding together break up. My question: How do I ask them if they are both still planning on attending the wedding?

I don't mean to sound insensitive, if you knew me you would know that was NOT the case at all. I just don't want to be make placecards that have both couple's names on them when they're no longer together and stir up bad emotions, or to pay for dinners for people whom won't be coming. One couple in particular is difficult because we are friends with both of them, so it's not just like we were inviting the bf/gf of the friend. They aren't our best friends or anything, so it's not like we talk to them regularly where I could just ask in passing.

Any advice?
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Re: XP: RSVP's, breakups, tough spot

  • betrothed123betrothed123
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    How many couples are we talking about here?

    I'd plan on attendance from everyone who RSVPd yes.  You will most likely have some people RSVP no and show up anyway and some people who RSVP yes but don't come, so no matter what you do you'll most likely end up either paying for guests who don't show or paying extra for extra guests.  It is what it is.
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  • kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited August 2010
    Hi Monique -
    You can ask individually, if they would like to come to your wedding... If you are having a seating chart, put the break ups seated at different tables separately!! :)

    Also, you do have some responses from the exact same thread here:

    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvps-breakups-tough-spot

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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  • gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    If you're close to one person and not the other in most of the couples who broke up, I'd make two place cards - one for Jane Doe, the other for "Guest of Jane Doe."  That way they can pick up the guest place card if they bring someone and not have an "and guest" placecard in front of them if they don't.

    If you're close to both people in the former couples and think they might both attend, you could just make sure they're seated separately.

    Do you have mutual friends who may have heard whether they plan to attend/bring dates?
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    Planning/Married Biology
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  • LnDUBSLnDUBS
    100 Comments
    This has happened to us. We are about 5 weeks out, and to us it is fairly obvious who will be attending the wedding. 
    "does this sweater make me look fat?" "no, the fact that your fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple".
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