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The only thing stressing me out...

I've been planning my wedding to be as stress-free as possible. I work full-time as the only accountant and I'm in grad school. Heaven knows I don't need to add anything on top, especially a stressful wedding. And I don't want my family getting stuck assembling a bunch of stuff and setting up, cooking, etc. I work at a private club so that's where I'm having the reception-I know all of the staff and chef and eat the food every day, we don't have to decorate, set up, or do anything and I'm getting a good deal. Our announcements were very low-key, our party favors are no-assembly required, I told my bridesmaids to wear a sassy black dress and my mom is making a colored sash, etc. Very simple.

However, since I am the only accountant at work, nobody can do the work that I do. I had a new assistant start 2 weeks ago and found out the hard way that she doesn't know how to use a computer and starts out on a clean slate every day (meaning I have to retrain her and answer her hundreds of questions all day every day when I should be doing all of my work to prepare to leave for a week for my honeymoon. I'm working right up through Friday (the day before my wedding)-ps I'm getting married in 4 days. I am feeling extremely uncomfortable leaving everything in the hands of someone who, after doing the exact same thing every day for 2 weeks still can't do it. She keeps asking if there's anything she can do to help, or if there are any tasks I can give her to keep me up to date while I'm gone. I realize that my old assistants are passed and gone, but I would've been able to give them several important things to do, but everything I do, I do it because it's complicated and I'm not about to give it to someone who's still learning her own very simple job, and I haven't even tried teaching her all of her job yet because I don't want to overburden her.

I just KNOW that while I'm gone my boss is going to FREAK OUT and everything is going to go wrong or he'll need to know something or she'll screw something up important that I'll need to fix, etc. but I'm pretty sure (it's still a surprise) that we're going out of the country and I fully intend to be incomunicado for the entire week. I can't just write down everything I know because it would be impossible to interpret and what I write would probably not be what he would need to know.

Any advice for being able to not worry? Or being able to deal with leaving responsibility behind for the wedding? Or dealing with people who are incapable of retaining information? Usually I really don't worry about anything that I have no control over but this has happened before when I've left for even just a day and I'm afraid of the total mass confusion that will ensue and make my job extremely difficult, especially because I have a very important meeting 2 weeks after I get back and I have a LOT of work to do to prepare for it.

This seriously has me so stressed out I can hardly look at her. My gut reaction is to ask her to leave me alone and close my office door so she can't ask any questions but that wouldn't help ANYTHING and makes her job harder. I really feel like a child again whenever I have to deal with it. This might just be all of my other stresses finding an outlet, and I feel really bad about taking it all out on her, but I am having a really hard time even convincing myself to be nice to her.

Help!

Re: The only thing stressing me out...

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    You need to have a sit down with your boss.
    I would do this even if you weren't leaving for your wedding. It is ridiculously unfair that you are spending this much time on a half-wit. You need to be factual and fair, but you need to voice your concerns in order to get your ducks in a row to leave.

    Even if your boss ignores you, you will have a leg to stand on when you get back. Basically you can say, "I told you so."

    I also deal with people who have no business being employed at my work every day. Some of them have been there 35 years. It is life, but you need to address it.
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    I think at some point, work needs to be left at work.

    If you've done the best you could training this girl and she's just not getting it, then that's not so much your fault as it's her just being stupid.  Sink or swim - you'll find out soon enough!  I mean what else can you do??

    You're getting married.  You're entitled to a solid week off with no thoughts about work.  Just let it be... between her and the boss, let them deal with it.
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    My boss already knows she's not making the cut. I just didn't want to have to start training someone the week before I leave, and it usually takes awhile to find someone to hire. I would fire her before I leave but then there wouldn't be anyone here and I need someone to answer the phone.

    I think ya'll are right-I seriously need to take the week off and whatever happens happens. I need a vacation!!
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    Since your boss knows, are they prepared to have less work completed while you're gone?  If they're ok, go on your honeymoon and enjoy yourself every minute! 

    As long as they know that you can't clean it all up the day you return... you'll be fine!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    Oh my god, it was like reading my life.  I deal with this crap every day so I feel your pain.  You have to give yourself a vacation at some point, and you need to do it guilt free.  If your company hasn't hired someone (of sufficient intelligence) else as your backup, they've made the choice to suffer if you decide to leave town for a week or whatever.

    I'm the type of person that always stresses about work, even when I'm not in the office, so I do understand how it will be difficult for you to let it go, but you owe it to yourself to do so.  When you're on your HM turn off your cell and don't respond to calls from your boss.
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    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_only-thing-stressing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f2e48473-5fed-43df-9f0a-ba625230228aPost:5fd61258-10c1-482b-a6f7-40669cb8ea30">Re: The only thing stressing me out...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think at some point, work needs to be left at work. If you've done the best you could training this girl and she's just not getting it, then that's not so much your fault as it's her just being stupid.  Sink or swim - you'll find out soon enough!  I mean what else can you do?? You're getting married.  You're entitled to a solid week off with no thoughts about work.  Just let it be... between her and the boss, let them deal with it.
    Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

    This.  My mom is the only paralegal in her office and instead of hiring someone to help her, the attorneys keep hiring morons who can't even take a simple phone message properly.  Mom has told them multiple times in the last couple of years that if my Nana gets worse (she has alzheimers and recently possibly colon cancer) that she'd be taking the FMLA and might be away for months.  Now with the wedding coming up, my mom had told them again that she was going to be taking some serious time off (she gets two weeks vacation every year but for the last 10 years she hasn't taken the whole 2 weeks, it's usually 1 week or less) to help me plan and move and all of that.  It continues to fall on deaf ears.  She has since stopped worrying about it.  They have been warned.
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    Put as much instructions as you can into a word document. Then be on your merry way.
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