Married in Catholic Church?

cassandraann24

Hey! Is anyone getting married in Catholic Church? How did the first meetings with the Priest go? I just started mine this week, and curious if mine were normal. ha

emimayor

I got married in a Catholic Church! And Jay&Marissa will be getting married as well in the Catholic church in June. We were married by a deacon and all of our meetings were great. Are you worried about something in particular? Which church? I will say there is a lot of red tape to go through, but it's worth it.

juliebug1997

I got married in the Catholic Church.  We didn't actually meet with the priest until the day before the wedding.  We did meet with someone in their office several times and discussed our "inventory".  We did the weekend retreat for our premarriage counseling.  Our meetings with the guy in the office were a little stuffy.  I don't think he had much of a sense of humor so, instead of putting us at ease, we were very nervous and it was a little daunting to see an email pop up from him.  However, I wouldn't have traded getting married at the church for anything.   

stephl3055

We got married in a Catholic church as well, but didn't have a mass and we were married by a deacon.  Our chruch didn't have a priest at the time and didn't have any meetings with one, just one meeting with the deacon.  We did the sponsor couple rather than the weekend retreat for our marriage prep.

Jay&Marissa

We haven't met with the priest yet--mainly because we don't know who it will be yet! The Msgr. at our church is known to butcher any sort of ceremony, so we'd like to ask the priest at our church up here in Norman.We did however meet with the deacon twice to take and go over our FOCCUS (sp?) test. He was really nice, but it got a little awkward when he talked about the sex part of it. I really had no desire to hear about having to be "flexible" (in both senses of the word) when we get older. It was kind of hilarious.We will be doing the Engaged Encounter weekend since meeting with a couple from church is hard to do since we are out of state for school. However, my parents sponsored one of the couples and enjoyed it--you might too if that is your thing.Good luck!

cassandraann24

We are supposed to do FOCCUS, and then 3 meetings with the priest (we disucss different things at each meeting.)  We did the FOCCUS Test and had our first meeting with the priest yesterday and apparently our test results showed that we are in need of a second meeting to continue going over our results. lol.  I like the priest, I just wasn;r sure if it was abnormal that we need additional meetings. After the meetings we do the Engaged Encounter (I think we are going Oct 24 weekend), and then we do the Communication class and Natural Family Planning class. Also, apparently they have a counselor that the church pays for and the priest said we could discuss if we want to use her later. I really like the church and everyone there, I;m just thinking, do we have that many problems?  lol

Jay&Marissa

Eh--our results for FOCCUS weren't perfect. Especially since Jay accidentally marked that I had drug/alcohol problems. That was fun *eye roll* I'd take the counseling if its free--how awesome! I think every couple should do it before marriage.

stephl3055

With our sponsor couple, I think we were required to have 4 or 5 meetings with them total.  The first one was us taking the test, then the rest of the meetings we went over the results.  We didn't specifically go over the results were we disagreed with each other, but them as a whole.  So they pointed out groupings where we agreed with one another (we got a 96% on one category!) just so they could show us what we were doing right, and then some areas that we could focus on over the next few weeks.  Our sponsor couple also let us know from the beginning that some of the questions there weren't worded very well, and they even said that they thought the test was outdated.  So they told us to not be surprised if we read back over some of our answers later and saw that we answered the question wrong because we misunderstood it.  I think David and I had about 5 each that we answered wrong because we read it incorrectly.

Jay&Marissa

So they told us to not be surprised if we read back over some of our answers later and saw that we answered the question wrong because we misunderstood it.Same here--I answered "no" and Jay answered "unsure" on a lot of questions, but in reality we agreed. It was kind of frustrating

juliebug1997

Bill and I accidentally marked a few questions incorrectly.  I think I marked wrong that Bill's addiction to porn was a problem to me.  He's not addicted to porn.  I think he said that he was concerned about my gambling problem. We met once with our guy about our FOCCUS but then he encouraged us to talk about our differing answers together.  We matched at like 75% or something and he felt that was really good.

cassandraann24

That's pretty funny-yeah, I marked that I 'disrespected qualities about my future spouse,' and the priest thought that was a HUGE deal, but all that I meant was that he used to occasionally smoke when he drank, and I hated it. The priest was like, "Oh-habits (ie smoking) are different from qualities." So, in realiy it was no big deal. And then I marked that he 'used substances' (or something like that), but what I meant was the smoking issue (the priest thought he like used REAL drugs-ha).  I do think the free counseling is cool. I can't imagine getting married without going through some of these issues that every couple will face together. Our priest is also one of the priests in the Dallas Diocese that decides if annulments will be granted, so he has some good insight into what problems come up during marriage.

juliebug1997

Our priest is also one of the priests in the Dallas Diocese that decides if annulments will be granted, so he has some good insight into what problems come up during marriage. Where are you getting married?  I think that's really kind of neat that you guys are getting some extra insight into that.  I wish that the Dallas Diocese though would form age specific groups though.  There were some things that I thought were geared for a younger audience than Bill and me (we're both in our mid 30s).  I did get a bit out of it but I would like to see them tweak some things.For the weekend, we had this great couple from Trinidad (I think).  They were hilarious and they've been together for forever.

emimayor

Our FOCCUS test was also pretty awkward...and hilarious. Jeff put down that he was uncomfortable with sex and I'm pretty sure that I put down that I had interest in gay sex.. What the what? We were also asked to come back and discuss because our answers on how to handle money were apparently "so spot on good" that our deacon figured there was a disconnect. And our Engaged Encounter SUCKED! I hate to say it, but we didn't get anything out of it except people/couple watching. Our couple just talked about themselves on and on, also they were way too touchy-feely. Ugh. I heard that this couple had so many complaints that they were encouraged to not do the weekend anymore... The NFP class for us was also bizarre and it was only because our teacher wasn't that great. We also probably are too immature for the topic...

Jay&Marissa

Obviously the FOCCUS test needs a little help The NFP class for us was also bizarre and it was only because our teacher wasn't that great. We also probably are too immature for the topic... Haha, you know my feelings about NFP, but I have to say, I almost giggled a few times in the past when we went over male reproductive organs. I know. It's sad.

emimayor

The subject wasn't bizarre. Our teacher was beyond bizarre. Jeff was NOT comfortable with the temperature part of it... Boys...

windrilene

I'm having a Mass, but have only met with the deacon so far (don't know when/ if we'll see the priest), and haven't had a chance to score our FOCUS yet since Ron won't be home until Christmas time. You also might have fun on the Catholic board- I check it out once a week, and even though a lot of the questions repeat a lot, it's nice to talk to other girls working with the same basic details and issues as you in regards to all the counseling, Mass specific details, etc. Good luck!

Jay&Marissa

Just be happy you didn't have the couple who used to be based out of my church--they were beyond bizarre and dysfunctional.

cassandraann24

I am gettiing married at St Thomas and we are having a full mass, so we have to have all of our meeting with the priest, rather than a Deacon. But, I think its kind of cool. He actually is a better counselor than a physchologist that we talked to last year and paid $150/hr for!

Terriniski

We got married in a Catholic church. We met mostly with a sponsor couple to go over FOCCUS results and other random topics, which was a bit more like socializing with the couple than anything else, since I think our FOCCUS match was in the high 90s. We had one or two where we misread and the other non-matches were ones that we knew our answers would be different. Those meetings were pretty good because they were low-key and the couple told us stories as we shared ours. We also did Engagement Encounters, which we didn't really care for, mostly because we had covered all the topics on our own or with our sponsor couple. So we felt like we lost a weekend. But in the grand scheme of things, everything was fine and we ended up with a wonderful ceremony.

emimayor

Cass - We got married at St. Thomas! We had a fabulous experience (minus EE weekend, but it wasn't their fault). If you ever have any questions, page me and I'm happy to help. Our ceremony was amazing and we've made a good church family there since then. FYI - the "wedding coordinator" is pretty much useless until the day of the rehearsal. St. Thomas was okay at answering wedding (non-churchy) type stuff, but not stellar. Also, and sorry if this is random. Are you getting altar flowers? We didnt because of cost, but ended up having them up from a previous wedding. You may want to ask before you invest in them. We had a 6:30 ceremony and I guess whoever got married there earlier were forced to keep their arrangements up. It worked out for us! Sorry for the long post, but GL and again, let me know if you need anything!

cassandraann24

emimayor-I am glad you had such a good experience there! We just moved to Dallas so we have only attended Mass a couple of times and then we had our first meeting with Father John a couple days ago. We both really liked him, although my FI is not Catholic (he just says he is "Christian", and his parents got married in Catholic church, but they did not raise him Catholic). We are in the process of discussing whether we will have a full Mass or not-I think we are going to. We are not planning on having flowers mainly due to cost, but also becasue it is so pretty in there anyways that I dont think anything extra is needed. That is pretty lucky that you got the flowers from the previous wedding. I am getting married at 6:30 too, so maybe I will get lucky (ha). I will probably end up messaging you later as we get more into the classes!

juliebug1997

While I was married at Christ the King, they encouraged us to talk to the bride from the other ceremony (if there was one) to see about sharing altar flowers.  They weren't required but I ended up only paying $70 for my two arrangements of gladiola stems.  The other bride paid the other half.

txtechgal

We are having Deacon Ken marry us and having all of our classes with St. Thomas, but we are getting married at the Cathedral downtown. Deacon has been great with all meetings so far and we also just did NFP and the conflict class. We liked the conflict class a lot and the lady was great. We'll be at the EE weekend of Oct. 24th as well.