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October 2013 Weddings

Not "Officially" Engaged, but We've set our Date!

Hello,

This post is probably going to seem a little strange to some of you, but as the title says not "officially" engaged yet but we've chosen our date. We will be getting married October 13, 2013.  Note that this is a second marraige for both of us but we both had quicky court house weddings due to circumstances for our first. This time we are having a real wedding! We are also a little older I'm 31, and he's 41. I also have a child from my first marraige who is 9 years old.

There are a number of reasons for our unconventional way of doing this that I dont really want to discuss I've already been attacked once on these boards. The reason for the not official part is my engagement ring was a collaborative effort between the two of us and in the making. He wants to do an official proposal because I never had that with my first wedding and he also just thinks its the right thing to do. So to our closest friends and family they know a wedding is coming and view us in that light, but to those outside that close circle its not known yet. Hopefully in the next 4-8 weeks I'll be able to announce here the official engagement, I am excited to see what he does for the proposal. I know no matter what he does though it will be amazing because he is the most amazing man I've ever met.

As to planning we're going next weekend to look at a site and probably put a down payment on it. I won a 500 voucher off a dress at a local designer dress shop that was having a sample sale so I purchased my gown last weekend with the encouragement of the soon to be fiance and my mother.  We've chosen our colors green and purple to match my engagement ring and our favorite colors. I've talked to a caterer about pricing, and will be setting up a cake tasting probably for late june. We've selected most of the bridal and grooms party.

So I'm still new here but wanted to stop and say hello. Is anyone here doing a theme wedding? How far along is everyone in planning?

B
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Re: Not "Officially" Engaged, but We've set our Date!

  • Welcome! Some of the girls on a few of these boards can be snarky. Find where you fit in and have fun with it. :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_not-officially-engaged-but-weve-set-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:e0f9c355-ce85-4fbd-abcd-015186fc08e1Post:73952c6e-a9ab-4e4b-b773-9ebeea00cd3a">Not "Officially" Engaged, but We've set our Date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello, This post is probably going to seem a little strange to some of you, but as the title says not "officially" engaged yet but we've chosen our date. We will be getting married October 13, 2013.  Note that this is a second marraige for both of us but we both had quicky court house weddings due to circumstances for our first. This time we are having a real wedding! We are also a little older I'm 31, and he's 41. I also have a child from my first marraige who is 9 years old. There are a number of reasons for our unconventional way of doing this that I dont really want to discuss I've already been attacked once on these boards. The reason for the not official part is my engagement ring was a collaborative effort between the two of us and in the making. He wants to do an official proposal because I never had that with my first wedding and he also just thinks its the right thing to do. So to our closest friends and family they know a wedding is coming and view us in that light, but to those outside that close circle its not known yet. Hopefully in the next 4-8 weeks I'll be able to announce here the official engagement, I am excited to see what he does for the proposal. I know no matter what he does though it will be amazing because he is the most amazing man I've ever met. As to planning we're going next weekend to look at a site and probably put a down payment on it. I won a 500 voucher off a dress at a local designer dress shop that was having a sample sale so I purchased my gown last weekend with the encouragement of the soon to be fiance and my mother.  We've chosen our colors green and purple to match my engagement ring and our favorite colors. I've talked to a caterer about pricing, and will be setting up a cake tasting probably for late june. We've selected most of the bridal and grooms party. So I'm still new here but wanted to stop and say hello. Is anyone here doing a theme wedding? How far along is everyone in planning? B
    Posted by dewingedpixie[/QUOTE]

    So you are engaged? You must consider yourselves engaged if you are telling certain people, getting a date, and now looking at caterers. I wouldn't go around telling other boards you are "Not Officially" engaged or you will get reamed out. Just because you don't physically have the ring and he wants to "propose for real" if you both agree you are engaged and are planning this together you are engaged, ring on finger or not.

     

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_not-officially-engaged-but-weve-set-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:e0f9c355-ce85-4fbd-abcd-015186fc08e1Post:33bb7a1e-415f-4158-a3ab-4bd4b456f887">Re: Not "Officially" Engaged, but We've set our Date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Not "Officially" Engaged, but We've set our Date! : So you are engaged? You must consider yourselves engaged if you are telling certain people, getting a date, and now looking at caterers. I wouldn't go around telling other boards you are "Not Officially" engaged or you will get reamed out. Just because you don't physically have the ring and he wants to "propose for real" if you both agree you are engaged and are planning this together you are engaged, ring on finger or not.
    Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]


    I guess this does have some truth to it. To the inner circle we are engaged as stated to others we essentially are just waiting to have the ring and for him to make a proposal official. While looking for a new home he refers to me as his fiance. I guess its more for face than anything at this point. He was upset when the place whos making my ring gave him a 9 week lead time about a month back.

    Either way I'm excited and happy. So is my daughter!

    B
    DIStickers.com Ticker
  • Congrats!  I would say this all still makes you engaged!  :)  the ring (as pretty as it is) is just a material thing.  If you two know you are getting married (obviously, since you set a date etc) and you love each other thats all that matters. 

    Do things the way the two of you want to and who cares what other people say!  Also, I've noticed that some of the people on these boards can be a bit....feisty....hahaha.  I rarely post anything for that reason.  People get very upset over little things...it's silly. 




    Anyway, back to the fun stuff!
    Our wedding is set for October 19, 2013 (my late grandmothers birthday).  Thats about the only thing we know right now haha.  Well, thats not entirely true.  We have our photographer picked out and our wedding party (for the most part).  I'm back and forth on colors.  I know that reception site will have lots of pumpkins in it.  Oh and we picked out some of the menu haha.  We're all over the place I guess.  lol

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  • We picked our song last night! I'm so excited! He's even going to take a dancing class with me :D.

    I also found a possible cake vendor! I'm gluten free due to celiac so I was getting frustrated being told my cake was going to cost 1000-2000! This vendor is all gluten free na d 5-10 a slice! We're going to set up our tasting for late june!

    Shanny I think its sweet you're getting married on your grandmother's birthday. We chose october because we wanted a mascarade ball, and we wanted to do things a bit off beat. Plus with it was the most nutral time of year for us to get married as well. I love the number 13 and it falls on columbus day weekend so 10-13-2013 :D, if there was a 13th month I'd do 13-13-13 though just for the spook factor.

    Does anyone else have themes? Our other theme is dragonflies because we love them so they will be scattered throughout the wedding in the flower petals, on the bouquets, my engagement ring and wedding ring. But the big party is a ball at a castle (which suprisingly in this area is one of the more affordable venues)!

    B

    DIStickers.com Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_not-officially-engaged-but-weve-set-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:e0f9c355-ce85-4fbd-abcd-015186fc08e1Post:73952c6e-a9ab-4e4b-b773-9ebeea00cd3a">Not "Officially" Engaged, but We've set our Date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello, This post is probably going to seem a little strange to some of you, but as the title says not "officially" engaged yet but we've chosen our date. We will be getting married October 13, 2013.  Note that this is a second marraige for both of us but we both had quicky court house weddings due to circumstances for our first. This time we are having a real wedding! We are also a little older I'm 31, and he's 41. I also have a child from my first marraige who is 9 years old. There are a number of reasons for our unconventional way of doing this that I dont really want to discuss I've already been attacked once on these boards. The reason for the not official part is my engagement ring was a collaborative effort between the two of us and in the making. He wants to do an official proposal because I never had that with my first wedding and he also just thinks its the right thing to do. So to our closest friends and family they know a wedding is coming and view us in that light, but to those outside that close circle its not known yet. Hopefully in the next 4-8 weeks I'll be able to announce here the official engagement, I am excited to see what he does for the proposal. I know no matter what he does though it will be amazing because he is the most amazing man I've ever met. As to planning we're going next weekend to look at a site and probably put a down payment on it. I won a 500 voucher off a dress at a local designer dress shop that was having a sample sale so I purchased my gown last weekend with the encouragement of the soon to be fiance and my mother.  We've chosen our colors green and purple to match my engagement ring and our favorite colors. I've talked to a caterer about pricing, and will be setting up a cake tasting probably for late june. We've selected most of the bridal and grooms party. So I'm still new here but wanted to stop and say hello. Is anyone here doing a theme wedding? How far along is everyone in planning? B
    Posted by dewingedpixie[/QUOTE]



    Congrats!  you are already further along in the planning than I am !   I got engaged on 4/21  so far we are pretty sure on the date and fairly sure on the venue but both things may change based on the venue being available.  I don't actually get to go see the room until the start of June - I could have seen it before hand but my sister is coming to town that weekend to go look with me.  my FI and I knew we were going to be engaged - but I wanted to "officially" be engaged before I started planning and dreaming about the wedding - I had been burned before so I didn't want to start planning something when I wasn't official.

    I am looking at October 5, 2013 as my date... I have not dress shopped .. although there is a dream gown that fits well into the budget - I am 31, FI is about to turn 32.  I have a 13 year old son .  As of right now we are still living an hour and a half apart ... and I am still working on getting a job in my field. (graduated college with a surgical technology degree in december and still looking for work )

    I am in a way planning a theme - ish wedding.  I already know table names will be after places at a music festival we attend 2 times a year -it is also where we got engaged and I want a tie dye wedding cake...colors wise I am having a rough time since I am set on having the tie dye cake and all that but do not want tie dye dresses.  I do not want tons of flowers just for myself and the girls - the centerpieces are all still up in the air  we are not getting married in a church...

    There are so many things I still need to figure out - luckily my parents are going to be helping out a great deal - which is awesome and actually unexpected since I am not 22 anymore...  

    ~Diana
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_not-officially-engaged-but-weve-set-our-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:e0f9c355-ce85-4fbd-abcd-015186fc08e1Post:796cc822-8c1a-45a4-8ff6-4ca9c867cfef">Re: Not "Officially" Engaged, but We've set our Date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Not "Officially" Engaged, but We've set our Date! : Congrats!  you are already further along in the planning than I am !   I got engaged on 4/21  so far we are pretty sure on the date and fairly sure on the venue but both things may change based on the venue being available.  I don't actually get to go see the room until the start of June - I could have seen it before hand but my sister is coming to town that weekend to go look with me.  my FI and I knew we were going to be engaged - but I wanted to "officially" be engaged before I started planning and dreaming about the wedding - I had been burned before so I didn't want to start planning something when I wasn't official. I am looking at October 5, 2013 as my date... I have not dress shopped .. although there is a dream gown that fits well into the budget - I am 31, FI is about to turn 32.  I have a 13 year old son .  As of right now we are still living an hour and a half apart ... and I am still working on getting a job in my field. (graduated college with a surgical technology degree in december and still looking for work ) I am in a way planning a theme - ish wedding.  I already know table names will be after places at a music festival we attend 2 times a year -it is also where we got engaged and I want a tie dye wedding cake...colors wise I am having a rough time since I am set on having the tie dye cake and all that but do not want tie dye dresses.  I do not want tons of flowers just for myself and the girls - the centerpieces are all still up in the air  we are not getting married in a church... There are so many things I still need to figure out - luckily my parents are going to be helping out a great deal - which is awesome and actually unexpected since I am not 22 anymore...   ~Diana
    Posted by DMoore421[/QUOTE]

    Diana you actually sound like me. This is a second marraige for both of us. We both had weddings at the courthouse before. I'm 31 he's 41. I'm in really good shape though because I do a lot of endurance races. I have a 9 year old daughter from my prior marraige. This year I'm training for a half ironman for charity. I really wanted the big wedding this time since I'm sure. I bought an ivory dress because I fell in love with it I considered colored ones too. He really wants me to have an official proposal since I didnt have it before. We're actually ready to put a down payment on our venue.

    We've also hit a snafu that makes me very sad. The center stone that we purchased for my engagement ring isnt going to work. The gemologist found a fracture, in a normal setting this wouldnt be a huge deal but the setting we've chosen is very high pressure. I'm also exceedingly active so we are going to go with something more durable as much as it breaks my heart. We are now racing to find a replacement stone. The stone was a very rare green to purple color change sapphire. We are now considering a purple sapphire center stone with green diamond side stones. This means the ring will take a little longer yet again but he wants it to be perfect and durable. One of the stones is being shipped to us for inspection and will arive today, they are still trying to locate 2 green diamonds right now though. Excited but sad at the same time. Purple center with green sides is what I intially invisioned before we found the one sapphire so I am excited that both purple and green maybe visible now at all times.
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  • I am in a similar situation and can definitely relate. We picked out the ring together 4 weeks ago and it is still not finished. My SO wants to propose in a special and traditional way so I am sort of in limbo. We have picked the date and already put deposits on a DJ, Photographer and an Officiant. We are also working to finalize the venue in the next week. Part of the reason for moving so fast is Columbus Day weekend is apparently a very popular wedding weekend. Also, we are getting married in the Outerbanks, NC and the vendors are going fast!  

    I actually got pretty down about about the situation this evening. It is just a strange position to be in because technically I haven't been asked but I already know it is going to happen and so does he (although he said he still gets nervous that I'll say no - hahha). In the end, I know it isn't that big of a deal but I would love to share my planning and excitement with people but feel like it needs to be reeled in a bit until it is "official".
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