I see that I am not the only one that has a FIL vent so sorry to bring on another by there is steam comingout my ears.
This weekend FI and I did some wedding stuff .We met with a new photog on Sunday and we're talking over the wedding with my parents (my dad went ot see the venue for the first time this weekend).
So anyway, FI's mom called in the afternoon and she's like "hey we are in Vegas! " (its a 5 hr drive from their house) ad he's like "oh ok" and then he goes "oh so I guess you have some spare money around" (they are big time gamblers but always Crying poverty-- and said they can't help us with anything for the wedding cuz they can't afford it!! btw)...
So shes like "ya I got a $500 bonus at work, so we decided to come for two nights, I already one $50 gambling But dad lost $300!but we got a room comped (which means they are gambling A LOT more than they say in order for that to happen)...
and he goes "i dont mean to interrupt the fun--but are you saving to come here for the wedding"
and his mom goes "well its Next august, so NO. well i had some saved, but we wanted to use it to rent a room"
FI got off the phone and didn't tell me about the convo till later on that day. I was talking about my shower and I'm like "do you think your mom will come to the shower right ? She can just stay here".. .and he goes "honestly, I dont think my parents are even coming to the wedding... they are spending all their savings gambling- and they don't even mention coming here"
I thought FI was going to cry.
So then I said to him "well if your parents don't come, i'm not having a wedding reception. that's not the point of a reception. its about family etc.so i don't mean to be a BRAT but i guess once again your parents financial troubles AFFECT ME" (this is a longer story, but basically im in credit card debt because his parents said if we didn't fly there for xmas this year they wouldn't support ourr marriage but they couldn't afford to come see us, so i spent $2400 on my credit going to see them, and we didn't even celebrate xmas- and i cried the entire time. his mom said "if i was hungry , i could make myself a ham sandwich" (i dont eat ham so it was an even bigger slap in the face). Mind you, I'm from a huge catholic Italian family that has a huge Christmas dinner and you dress up and everyone goes to church etc. and they couldn't even TRY to be accommodating. I showed up in my xmas "dress" and they were in their pajamas watching jerry springer. Not to mention his borther had just been to visit us and I bent over backwards accomodating him.
anyway- if his parents don't come, i don't think its like proper or fine to have a reception without them. I said instead we would just go to dinner with my best friends and his and my parents and maybe his grandparents.
BUT THEN i was like" this is so unfair (im being a baby sorry!) i am sick of his parents sh*tting on my day and my life" so then i told him he had to find out SOON because its unfair to my parents to put downa 20% deposit on a wedding that his parents Can't even ATTEND. my parents are so generous, and i understand if his parents can't financially contribute but could they at least NOT gamble their money. its a slap in the face.
I'm SOO angry sorry this is so long.
I was up crying about it all night.
I thought about emailing his mom and saying "your son is concerned you won't be attendance at his wedding..."
Still Waiting 129