XP: What's the story with groomscakes?

Nati05

For the second time in a few weeks, I get on the computer this morning and I find three open google pages of groomscakes. Haha I just love my FI, he's adorable! And even more when he gets embarassed that he forgot to close his pages and I saw what he was googling lol.

Anyway it's cute to see FI get interested in something WR but I'm a little bummed at the same time. When I heard that he thought having a cake was something that was beginning to interest him, I decided to get one for him as a surprise. Now he's dead set that he HAS to have one, and it seems like I'm not going to be able to pull off a surprise anymore.

How do groomscake things usually go anyway? Are they always (or for the most part) surprises? Is it for the wedding or the RD? I've seen both so I'm even more confused lol. Is it a "the groom can't get his own cake himself, someone else has to get it for him" type of deal? Someone fill me in please! TIA

MaryCW2

I don't know their full history and origin, but I know having a cake for each bride and groom was pretty much the norm in America until the late 1800's, so it wasn't really a surprise, just expected like the other cake.  Now days since it's not as common, many brides who want to include it do it as a surprise, often refleting something the groom enjoys like fishing or golf, etc.  I don't think it means it has to be a surprise though.  If you want some surprise you could tell him you're getting one so he stops pestering, but not give away the desgin.

Nati05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_xp-whats-story-groomscakes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:9b56bb0b-1aea-4328-a255-cb2b09fdd8f2Post:0a8177d3-f702-4c33-a0f9-aaa983b732d5">Re: XP: What's the story with groomscakes?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know their full history and origin, but I know having a cake for each bride and groom was pretty much the norm in America until the late 1800's, so it wasn't really a surprise, just expected like the other cake.  Now days since it's not as common, many brides who want to include it do it as a surprise, often refleting something the groom enjoys like fishing or golf, etc.  I don't think it means it has to be a surprise though. <strong> If you want some surprise you could tell him you're getting one so he stops pestering, but not give away the desgin.
</strong>Posted by MaryCW2[/QUOTE]

Hmm that could be an idea.. thanks!

jessicabessica

I think that Mary had a good idea to tell him you're getting one, but the design is a surprise.  You might want to ask him if he has a strong preference as to whether it's at the RD or reception--if he really cares one way or the other, he might be disappointed if it's not served at the time he was expecting. 

BrideBling82

I know sometimes there is a cake or dessert at the RD but I've never seen it be a Grooms Cake. My FI didn't want one at first bc he thought it wasn't in our budget....but I insisted he have one. But then he never asked again....I told him his cake was Italian Cream.....which is his favorite. Too bad my baker can't make an authentic one....so I got another alternative (her specialty cookies and cream). Did I mention FI loves Cookies and Cream everything. So the cake, the design and the icing are all a surprise for FI. He hates fondant....so I told him the wedding cake is fondant....every now and then he will remind me that he's not going to eat the icing. So I agree....let him know he's getting one but keep the details to yourself until your reception.

Nati05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_xp-whats-story-groomscakes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:9b56bb0b-1aea-4328-a255-cb2b09fdd8f2Post:7602b7c3-4534-421a-98b1-36b798a4f4a2">Re: XP: What's the story with groomscakes?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think that Mary had a good idea to tell him you're getting one, but the design is a surprise. <strong> You might want to ask him if he has a strong preference as to whether it's at the RD or reception--if he really cares one way or the other, he might be disappointed if it's not served at the time he was expecting.</strong> 
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

I don't think he really has a preference but it's a good point to consider, thank you!

NOLAbridealmost

The tradition is a Southern one.  The grooms cake is served at the wedding and the single female guests take a slice home, put it under their pillow, and are supposed to dream of their future husband. 

Nowadays it's basically served at the wedding as an alternative to the wedding cake. It need not be a surprise that he is GETTING a cake, just surprise him with the decorations (favorite sports team, pet, hobby, etc.)

rascal17

I dont know the full history and Im going to assume the NOLAbridealmost is correct that it is a southern tradition. But what learned is that traditionally the grooms cake is packaged and sent home with guests while the brides cake is what is served at weddings. But now adays most traditions are thrown out the window so you can serve both at the wedding.

Like others said let him know that he is getting a cake but dont let him no any details. 

You can also serve the grooms cake at the RD if you like. there really isnt a bad time to have cake lol Do what works best for you. 

To me grooms cakes are the fun cakes. Hubby to be kept trying to have imput on our wedding cake but I didnt like his ideas, and since im making my own cake I am dead set on my way. He kept mentioning over and over this one idea he loved and wanted so badly to have so I told him I will make him a grooms cake that he can design and I will make it exactly his way.

mancila60

Traditionally Groom's Cake's started in the south. They are typically served at the reception I have never seen it served at the RD and EVERY wedding I've been to there has been a groom's cake. The cake itself is supposed to represent the groom with his interests or likes. It is never a surprise he typically picks it out unless he doesn't care. At the reception the bride and groom cut the bride's cake and then the groom cuts his own cake.