Dreading the dress...

ev4149

Has anyone else put off going dress shopping because they want to get in shape?  In the past year, my father has been diagnosed with kidney cancer and a stroke.  I've changed jobs and moved, and been under a ton of stress. I've gained almost 25 pounds in a year.  My mom is dying to go dress shopping, but I can't bear the thought of it.  I've been watching what I eat and going to the gym, and have lost almost 5 pounds.  But I'm still not where I used to be.  I don't know if I need advice or just some encouragement.  My mom wants to go dress shopping in 2 weeks.  I am not excited at all, and am dreading it.  I know I'm going to cry when I go, and not in a good way. I'm just not sure what to do....

steffydolly

I'm sure that you will look beautiful in all of the gowns you try on. You don't have to buy your dress right now, but it will be good for you to get an idea of what you might want eventually.

As you lose weight in the next 9 months it will give you an added encouragement when you see your progress while wearing your dress. Plus, at least for me, having my dress has helped me stick with my diet 

HTH and I can't wait to see pictures when you do find a dress.

abelkins

I was in the same boat... I didn't really even want to go dress shopping because I wanted to get in shape and lose some weight first.  But then a dress pretty much fell in my lap and I couldn't pass it up so I have been measured and they are ordering the dress.  I am still hoping to lose and will just have to have alterations if the dress needs taken in... I'd rather it be taken in than let out!

Kate504

i am b/c a lot of the styles i like don't come in my size because wedding dresses run small. I'm glad i have a while to lose weight. I have joined WW and started running and lost about 10 lbs in about 4 weeks and am excited to continue.

JaydensMommie

I'm the same.  Everyone wants to go but me.  I'm going to put it off as long as possible.  I know that i wont be happy with anything the way i look now. 

raynes

I was scared, but excited to go dress shopping.  After watching way too much Say Yes to the Dress I was afraid that the only sizes they'd have for samples would be 6's and that I wouldn't be able to "see" any dresses properly.

Man oh man, was I wrong.  The stores I went to all had 12's and 14's and up as samples.  Yeah, there might have been a few 8's, but for the most part I had no problem at all getting into dresses and seeing how they looked.

And it felt great!

Don't put off dress shopping because you're afraid you're "too fat", just go for it, I'm sure you'll be surprised.  I mean, if you want to hold off on ordering for a bit, just talk to the store and see what they suggest, but don't not go because you're afraid.

If you think you might be too self conscious with a group, go with just your mom (or trusted friend) the first time to get a feel for it.  Then invite more the next time if you feel more comfortable.

And, last thing, I promise, try on as many different styles as you can.  Girls with curves usually look amazing in corset dresses, since you can tighten it to accentuate your curves!

msange727

i hear you! everyone from my sister to my fiance's 4-year-old cousin has been asking me if i've found a dress yet, and i'm just really hesitating because i don't want to hate what i see. i know a lot of girls cry when they find the dress, but i don't want to be the minority who cries because she can't stand how she looks in one.

texgal79

I wasn't excited about dress shopping either, because I had just barely started the effort to lose weight and it wasn't going that well.  I knew I still wanted to lose another 20 pounds and I have the hip/waist ratio problem that requires me to put all dress on over my head (I cannot pull anything over my hips.) I agree with all the PP, and especially what Raynes  says about trying on different styles.- I was shocked at how much better I looked when I tried on A-line dresses vs. the ballgown styles I was convinced I needed. Though I still felt like a doof making the saleswoman put all the dresses on me over my head (it's easy to get tangled up!) But almost every shop was very kind about reassuring me that the size I ordered wouldn't necessarily be the size I wound up with, and that alterations were easy. Plus, you see other women of every size and shape trying on dresses too, so that provides a good distraction. Finding a dress you love can be excellent motivation to want to look your best in it!

grrrace

I totally understand! I am dreading it also!

Raynes, you make me feel better now that I know they carry 12 and 14's. Did you go to a big chain or a boutique? I'm a 12-14 right now but I'd really love to be an 8-10 before I commit to a dress. I'm not sure how long I can put it off though! My mom and MIL really want me to start looking. 

raynes

I didn't really see any chain type stores up here (Canada), so I guess boutique.  I went to 4 different stores and didn't have an issue in any of them!

MYLOVE315

I'm so glad I found THIS board!

I went dress shopping yesterday. I have been putting myself under so much stress since the day I got engaged (April 10th of this year) I have yet to begin to diet -- I did go once w/ my MOH and tried on a few "cinderella" type dresses...I took pictures... all the dresses I tried on were about a 14W but I felt like a whale looking back at the pics. My bridal party wanted to go at the end of this month and I said I wasnt ready -- maybe at the end of next month?

Well I decided to go to a small boutique w/ my sister yesterday after dress shopping yesterday it kind of catapulted me and my brain to take a baby step today towards dieting and so I did..... I started today! I keep thinking I have all the time in the world but 3mos have flown by so quickly. Time does fly!  Basically every bride  I see wears strapless - even tho everyone has said I can pull it off I don't want to feel self conscious. I dont wanna look like the fat girl who didnt take a good look at herself in the mirror and realize her arms are way too big to be wearing strapless    I dont' care how much people can convince me -- I know I need to feel at my best and need to see with my own eyes what I can and can pull off....Nobody knows better then me and nobody will know beterr then you!

So in essence I feel your pain and all of your trepidation about dress shopping -- The flip side is I did try a Maggie Sottero dress on yesterday and I did feel pretty. It kind of helped me to realize the kind of style I should go for and things can only get better from here if I continue to diet and workout........So here's to having a rude awakening!

I agree w/ the other posts either pic one person to go w/ you or even go by yourself? That may be my next step. 

I wish you luck - don't be down on yourself -- take a step and each day and each step you take you'll feel more empowered because your doing something for you and you're worth it!

Goldlie11

I'm putting it off.  I'm planning to go dress shopping around 5-6 months before the wedding.  Part of it is because I want to lose weight and the other is because of dress envy/doubts.  I change my mind a lot, so I'm afraid if I buy too early, I'll regret it.  FI would kill me if I ended up hating my dress and buying a new one.  

If you know what dresses or shops that you are interested in, call them and ask how long it takes to get the dresses in.  Most of them will come in within 4 months.  

Many studies have shown that you look and feel a lot better once you lose 10%.   Use that as your first goal, then work from there.  GL

JenO24

Davids Bridal has all sorts of sizes in sample dresses.
I was worried about going too, but just sucked it up.
I did have the quintascential (sp?) experience when I saw myself in "the dress"...I started to cry.
Curvy girls look way better in gowns then you'd think!

ipen44

I found an awesome dress shop that carries sizes 14+ and they had all of the sizes in stock to try on.  I found this by googling "plus size bridal designers".  Once you find the designers you can searchfor shops that carry their gowns.  It was really great to see how the dress would really look on you rather than just see one and order it.

Another odd tip I found is to have the staff take a picture of you and let you see it.  There were two dresses that I could not decided between and I was there alone so I wanted to send my sister pictures of both.  As soon as I saw the pictures of me in each dress, I knew which one was best for me : )

Of course, now the dress does not fit and I have 33 days to get back into it, but that is another post and no the fault of the dress.