NGISR: Fi fighting- long

atobias1

Sorry to do a bunch of NGISR posts today but UGH!We have 2 dogs and roommate has one. Her dog stays in her room and when we are gone we keep our dogs in the breezeway aka dog room. Well yesterday I came home to see Fi's dog had ripped up his dog bed and had stuffing all over!!!I left it for Fi to pick up and see what his dog had done and of course he never did,So I get a text from my roommate today saying that his dog has peed everywhere and they have strewn more stuffing around.(we can tell who does what by the amount of damage, my dog is smaller so less pee and he cant or hasnt ripped stuff up while his dog is a diff story)I told her just to leave it bc I didn't want her to have to clean it up. If I were her and I had to clean up my roommates dogs mess i'd be really annoyed. Plus we have tiled that room and made it a "dog room" for a reason. Its just a tiled room with thier cages and toys and water... So if they potty no harm done.So I call Fi and ask him when he will be home. He said he was on his way and asked me y I didn't have our roommie clean it up. I explained it wasn't her place and its the dog room. who cares. He started picking a fight with me saying if it stains the grout yada yada yada. Im like okay i am done with you. talk to you later.  He just doesnt want to clean up after his dog!!! AKRjfalkhfoiesarftglk:AJSnfdpoiayhdsfg;lkajdsofgiyahfdsg;lkna;fdshaoifdshg;alfg;aifg[aref!!!!!!!!!!okay sorry. thanks for reading.

tinysbridetobe

I am probably going to sound like  a total Biotch here...In my personal opinion, you should have cleaned up FI’s dogs mess..Just because the dog made a mess doesn’t mean that you have to leave it there for your FI to see and then clean up, you should have told your FI about it and then left it at that. The dog made an even bigger mess because the mess was left there for him to “play” with.  Personally, had FI left a mess for me to clean up after one of my 3 very large dogs, I would be really mad with him because there just wouldn’t be any sense in it.  I am sorry that you’re fighting but I can see why he would be annoyed.

hunniapple

Sorry but I gotta agree with pp - I have a dog and FI doesn't, but he pitches in a lot with her.  It's really gross to leave pee for so long - since you guys are getting married aren't they both your joint dogs? Kinda like the kids would be joint kids? 

atobias1

no noLet me be clear.I am at work. My roomate is home not me.I am not about to run home from my job (30 min drive and ps not taking a lunch today to make up time anyway) to clean up a mess. noI left the dog bedding yesterday for him to pickup bc he was 5 mins behind me. I knew this bc we were talking onthe way home. Soooo its not like it was just sitting there for 4 more hours.and maybe its just me but there is no way in gods green earth that I am making my roommate clean up dog mess when its OUR home and OUR dog. Hell to the no. that is just wrong... on so many levels. If I were at home from work yes i would have cleaned it but he would have heard about it. My friend. no way.

[Deleted User]

I have to agree here...when you have pets, esp multiple pets, you cant get into whos dog is whose, and that person is responsible for this dogs mess yada yada, both dogs are both of your responsibility, if you see the dog made a mess, clean it up.  Otheriwse its jsut a lot of added energy and stress keeping track of who did what.It takes a lot longer to point the finger and decide who cleans it up than to just clean it up yourself!  Thats my two cents at least! :)Best of luck with it.

hunniapple

But the bedding never got picked up?

hunniapple

For what it's worth I agree about the roommate part.  Why did the stuffing stay?

atobias1

nope. but im not mad at the bedding. thats no biggie. Im not even mad that if I came home I would have to clean the pee and bedding. OKay ya i would be a little but thats gross id clean it up and we would have a chit chat about how he got home at 3 and if it was left for me to find after 5 thats not okay.HOWEVER my point is... hes being snippy with me bc i didnt tell my friend and roommie to clean up his dogs piss. WTF is that!?!?

hunniapple

Yeah I wouldn't ask my roommate to clean up my dog's mess...sorry I misunderstood the original part

atobias1

the stuffing stayed bc its something he and I are still working out. Its just another part to a bigger issue we are having and trying to find a happy mediumsee okay sometimes depending on the time of year he will get home later than me bc of his work. So in the winter i would come home, make dinner and he would get home right as it was ready. We would eat and I would say hey can you clean up the dishes, "yea just let me sit a min" okay fine... well before bed... hey did you clean the dishes, no but i will before i go to work. Needless to say I wound up cooking and cleaning. and when I talk to him about it he says well i dont want to have to come home and clean .So wait wait. I have to come home, cook and clean then?!?!?! NO!!!!So I stopped cooking....Now he wanted to get this dog really really bad. I HATE big dogs (its a 1yr boxer... awesome) we talked it over and thought about it for weeks and he agreed he would walk it regularly bc they are so high energy and tear stuff up if you dont excersise them enough. He did for a while but guess what??? I started running so I would take him. No biggie. it was kinda nice.Well I have been super bogged down and EVERY NIGHT he tries to call not it on feeding and letting out. I say hey I can do one but u need to help too.I am trying different tactics to talk to him, leave stuff. we just havent worked this out. I know we will and this is minor stuff but implying that I didnt ask my friend to do it and she didnt offer was rude of me (him not any of you) was what sent me over the edge. hence my vent.

tinysbridetobe

I just don't think you're going about it the right way...you say you’re “trying different tactics”, but I don’t think leaving dog pee and bedding stuffing out for him to clean up is the right way, regardless of him being 5 minutes behind you or not.  What about the both of you taking this dog to training classes together so the dog understands that you are both in control, and at the same time, you guys get to spend time together?    At 1 yr. Old this dog shouldn’t be using the bathroom in the house, period. Also, letting the god have free reign while you are gone when it isn’t housebroken is just asking for trouble.  Your dog should be crated while you are gone in order to help prevent this problem.  That way, there’s no pee to clean up and nothing torn up to worry about..Again, this is my two cents but this also comes from someone that has raised dogs and horses her whole life and I know that this is not going to be good for the dog or your relationship if you don’t resolve this.  

Nebb

I have to agree with pp - I dont know how big the breezeway/room is but a dog that age that isnt fully trained should be crated while you are gone. "if they potty no harm done" just sounds like youd rather clean up the mess after than train them not to go in the house, sorry. It sounds, atleast with the bedding stuff, that you were using the old doggy "training" tactic - rubbing the dogs nose in it to show it was a bad thing, but with your husband. A simple "OUR dog did this, I cleaned it up, etc" would have sufficed. I think if youre getting married, it stops being his dog or your dog, the dog belongs to both of you!

atobias1

u guys r right thanks for setting me straight