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Open Letter Friday

Where the hell is everyone? Post an "open letter" to anyone/thing that is bothering you or whatever. Lets liven the board up, huh?

Re: Open Letter Friday

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    Dear wedding, Why are you 5 weeks from tomorrow instead of tomorrow?  I just want you to be here so I can get over with you and on with my life! Dear life, Give me a break, please?  Just a little one?
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    Dear week, 4 little more hours then good riddance!!!! Dear fi, honey... I love you dearly but your laziness really makes me want to harm innocent, innaniment (sp??) objects. Dear guests of bridal shower, I really hope you thought about me when you bought gifts. Sexy clothing or lack there-of I can do... Toys??? please please tell me you passed on the toys, games, and any other awkward items.... dear coworker, I say it every week. so by now you know. I will only add "child please" (good reference for anyone who has been watching hard knocks this season)
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    Dear business associate/family friend of FI, When you invite me to dinner and drinks w/ the guys, please clue me in that one of them is a very important "Commissioner" in D1 football. Had you warned me, I would have prepared more intelligent conversation pieces and would have avoided feeling like a semi-idiot. Dear Boss, I really really like you and I would like you even more if you'd offer to pay me overtime for the 50 hr weeks I will now be working on a permanent basis. Dear student loans, You are sucking the life out of me, please just go away.
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    Dear Lady at The Grocery Store, Why oh why did you need the bagger to wheel your three half-full grocery bags to your car for you?  You were not disabled, nor had any visible disabilities - you weren't even parked in a handicapped space.  Okay, as if this weren't bad enough, you had the bagger load them for you as well???? Really?  And if THIS wasn't bad enough you were about 10 years younger than him.  He didn't even get a tip from you. (I know this because I watched you - mostly because I'm observant and judgmental.) But, I digress.In short, you suck.Love,cacoffer
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    Dear FI, When you use all the toilet paper, then discover we don't have any left under the sink, TELL ME. In fact, tell me when you pull out the last roll so we have time to get more. Don't leave me at home all day on my day off with no toilet paper and no car to go get more.
    imageLilypie Pregnancy tickers
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    dear wedding -i wish you were today, instead of next friday, because i'm too excited to wait.  i also wish you were just over already, because you've caused more stress than i ever imagined you would.dear TOM - are you really going to skip a second month in a row?  i know i'm stressed out, but this is a bit ridiculous.  if you decided to crash my wedding or honeymoon, i will be very very upset with you.dear FIL's -i know you're super excited about the wedding.  and i know that many of you aren't in town very often.  and i love you all dearly.  but please stop trying to take up every spare moment of FI's time and making him feel guilty when he says 'no.'  we're planning a wedding, the event that you're in town for.  please understand and stop making FI feel like crap.dear tummy and love handles -you were supposed to leave before the wedding.  you weren't invited on the honeymoon, as there's no space for you my new bikini.  but you're still here.  you suck.dear work -why must you decide to be swamped and dump a ton of work on my desk 3 flippin' days before i leave for wedding stuff?  as if i didn't have enough stress already.sincerely,kllmphew.  that felt good.
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    Dear boss, Why did you schedule me for five 12hr shifts in a row leading up to my trip out of the country next week? Including a shift that will end exactly 4 hours before my flight leaves? You will probably make my trip miserable because of the severe lack of sleep going into it. Thanks.
    imageLilypie Pregnancy tickers
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    Dear Company that I interviewed with, Please call me and offer me the position. I totally accept.Dear Chic-fil-a,Please stop making such good tasting chicken sandwiches. 
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    Dear lbs - Why are you not coming off? I am eating my points and working out like a mad woman. Help me out here!!Dear FI family - It would be nice if you treated us like you treat FI's sister and husband/kids. Try it out...it would do wonders for our relationshiop.Dear bed - I am exhausted and wish I was there and not here at work.Dear sister, and oh so favorite BM - Deal with it, you wanted to be in the wedding....you were much more annoying as a bride than I.Thanks Nebb!!
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    Dear lbs- I'm sick of you...and determined to get rid of you for good. You will NEVER come back to me. Dear Money- I could really use you right now. I really need to keep saving for the wedding, HM, trip in November, and before i know it...Christmas. Can you please come to me in bulk....perferably hundreds. Thanks.
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    Dear father, in spite of life experience I've invited you to our wedding as a guest. Yes, I am glad to have you there but please do not decide, now, after not speaking for 10 years & 2 months before the wedding that you can tell me to add people to my guest list. REALLY? Dear FI, thank you for taking care of the rehersal dinner reservations today I feel a MILLION times better Dear invitations, please  please please get here so I can mail you out somewhat close to my intended timeline.  You're so pretty but i'm getting impatient and while we're talking - why do you have to cost so much?Dear GIS ladies, thank you for posting support and amusment for me when I need it most :)
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    Dear body, why do you feel so bloated and chubby this past week? I'm doing everything I'm supposed to!Dear FFIL, I really can't stand you and your stubborn and bullying attitude. You literally make me feel sick to my stomach. You're the only person to ever make me feel this way, congrats! :-/Dear FI, Why did you have to join the Navy?Dear Navy, Why must you always take my FI away from me? :(
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    dear guy at work:im very sorry that your fiance broke up with you and cheated on you, but i dont want to hear every single gory detail and have you ask my advice on everything, especially if you ask me what i think she is thinking/doing. i seriously dont know - shes a kook. dear bills:cant you pay yourselves for JUST one month?dear weight watchers:why must you make me eat so many points..i know this is my first week, but im hoping these points dont make me gain weight instead of lose!

    House Renovations
    Married Bio

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    I am a gluten-free, gun-toting wife! :P

    I love you, Daddy...2/24/1953 to 2/13/2011image
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    Dear body,Thank you for being so strong and enduring everything I put you through, both good and bad.  I know that you like to hold onto every bit of fat left on me, but I will continue to make you endure all of my inordinate amounts of exercise and clean eating to make you burn that stubborn fat.  I value you more than I can say, but you must understand that I do not like my flabby tummy and thighs so get with the program already.  I love you, and I promise to listen to you and not push too hard.Dear hormones,Why must you make an emotional nutcase?  It's slightly embarrassing to cry in yoga class EVERY SINGLE TIME.  DD
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    Dear AT&T: You totally SUCK. Leaving me without internet access for 2 weeks is totally unacceptable. Dear Double Chin: Will you get lost already? I have dropped 11 lbs and now I expect you to go away. Dear Back Fat: Why hang around when no one wants you here? You will be gone in a month or so. BYE BYE!! Dear belly fat: Come on already, could you go down one inch at least? Dear Employer: Thanks for being a good employer, we all have enough stress in life without having a lot of job stress, I am thankful to still be your employee. Thanks for supporting your employee's efforts at good health by offering WW at Work. Dear FI: I love you with all my heart, you are the best man a woman could ever hope for, thank you for being you. It's been almost 5 years for us and I love you and respect you more every day.
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    Dear Fi, I know you don't like housework, but since you work 25 hours a week and I work closer to 80 (2 jobs, uni) the ball falls in your court. When our workloads even out more we will revisit. You always knew you weren't getting a housewife.Dear employer, good work, I don't like you. But you brought it on yourself, so I don't feel badDear excess weight, please go away. I am starting to get discouraged and when that happens I give up. Throw me a bone and go away.Love, bubblej
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    Dear 10k,I am sooo going to kick your butt next month. In under 70 minutes.Love,Mrs_AF
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    Dear FI, I was out all day and all day you didn't move from the couch.  Your xbox can wait please put your clean dishes away and your dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Dear FMIL, Thank you for cleaning my living room and kitchen this morning when me and FI went to meet with the minister.  Your passive aggressive behavior bothers me sometimes even though I know your intentions are good. Dear Son, I am so proud of you.  You found a DS in an empty movie theater and could have easly pocketed it instead you ask me who we turn it to so the kid who owns it can have it back.  You are turning into a fine young man.
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    Dear Body-Thanks for staying healthy!  Keep up the good work, and I'll keep being good to you!Dear Praxis exam-Please don't be as hard as I think you'll be!Dear Apt-I love you!Dear Ex-boyfriend--Please meet someone soon.  I want you to be happy!
    Keep Moving Forward
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    Dear nursing jobs, Please open up so FI can get a job. I can not support us and save for a wedding with my job. Life would be so much less stressful if FI just had a job. A cross country adventure would be fun but I would hate to leave my parents, I need my mom to help me plan this wedding. And the thought of you becoming an army nurse makes me week in the knees!Dear employers, Lay off the dead weight. It's not fair to the pp who work really hard and do there job to get so few hours because you over staffed camp this summer. Dear hormones, you make me so moody its not kind to do to the pp around me. Dear body, I promise I will start being better, but you need to help me. I can't lose the weight w/o you. I need that bikini for the hm.
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    Dear "handicapped" people at work - Let's be honest. Most of you are not handicapped. You are just too fat and lazy to park in a normal parking spot and walk a few extra steps so you illegally park in the close spots. I hope that security catches up with you soon. There might be people who legitimately need to park in those spots and they cannot because your fat, lazy a$$ has parked there. Dear GIS - I've been busy lately - hope to see you more soon. Dear Brynhild - miss you - hope you are ok Dear Nebb - thanks for posting my fave thread!
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