Honoring a family member?

bsn1752

My mother passed away 14 years ago from breast cancer, and I'm trying to think of subtle ways to honor her without going too overboard and making my wedding more like a sad memorial (because I think that there's a line that is too much "honoring").  I'm going to carry a red bouquet with one pink rose (for breast cancer awareness), and have a chair in her honor at the ceremony with a rose in it as well.  Do you think that's enough?  What other ideas do you like/have you seen/used yourself?

Thanks ladies! And TGIF!

Mariah09202008

I think that's good...maybe even put a small something in the program?  Or you could even make a donation to the Susan G. Komen charity and instead of doing favors put a note card on people's tables explaining in lieu of favors you donated to the charity? 

tc1016

I was going to suggest an empty chair with a rose. I think that's lovely, classy, and not overdone.  Maybe your something old could be something of hers?  I think what's "enough" depends on you though...honor her in what ever ways feel right to you.

bsn1752

I just don't want it to be overwhelming with "memory", you know?  I don't want it to make everyone sad (myself including, I will be crying like a baby)... just subtle and classy.

SoonToBeMrsHoz

I have been thinking about the same thing, because I lost my dad 3 years ago. I am going to have a locket hanging from my boquet with a picture of my dad and me inside it. Interesting because I came up with this idea, and then saw in used in the D-Weddings Magazine.

I don't think I will do the empty chair idea because I know it would really make my mom miss him and be even sadder than she already is about him not being with us anymore, and to continously be reminded of it through the ceremony will tear us all apart.

cfibelkorn

Yea I think the chair might be too sad. I would tie something into your bouquet or make donations instead of favors.

sparklingdiamond

I agree!  I like the idea of donations as favors and putting something in your bouquet or program if you are going to have one.

shauna378

I think the donation idea is very classy as well as the pink flower.   I lost my mom unexpectedly 2 years ago of a heart attack and I at a loss of what to do for her  -  I have a split family anyways,  so my step mom thinks of herself as the mother of the bride and sweet as she is, I still want to honor my mom who I miss  but without making it a memorial.  So I  understand.  
 I think your ideas are very nice, and classy.   Good luck to you!   (Oh, I just realized I kind of went on a rant so I apologize for butting in with too much info)

emimayor

I am too familiar with this as well. I lost my mom 3 years ago unexpectedly and we honored her last year at our wedding. We were very sublte on purpose. We honored my mom in our program with a small excerpt written by me. That was it. It was no secret to anyone that my mother was gone, therefore I didn't feel like making a big deal out of it. Anything I did, I did only for myself.

I think I may be the only one that has had their wedding, but I do no think putting a empty chair out would be necessary. It calls too much attention to the fact he/she is not there, which isn't what you want on your wedding day. Just my opinion.

Tiffany618

I can't even begin to understand how you ladies must feel.   I'm so sorry!

I think an empty chair is a lovely gesture, but when I saw it coming down the aisle,  I'm pretty sure I would bust into tears.  

I've heard of Memorial Candles.  That might be a good idea?

emimayor

Tiffany - Thank you. I miss my mom every day, so my wedding day was no different.

lesalyric

I lost my dad two years ago unexpectedly and I also thought about doing the chair and just decided I wouldn't be able to do that without it making me cry. Emimayor -- I like the subtlety of the passage on the program.

A friend of mine got married last year and also lost her father unexpectedly. She, her mother and brother had a personal rememberance ceremony before anyone arrived for the actual ceremony. They lit a candle and it burned throughout the ceremony and only they three (and her FH) knew the symbolism.

rhsdiplomanic25

my brother passed away earlier this year... to honor him we will be making a special note in the program for him and will also be lighting a candle with a picture of him next to it to burn throughout the ceremony and reception. 

Ya'lls ideas sound great!

So sorry for the loss!