So I was feeling good as I've lost ten of the twenty pounds I have to lose for my dress to fit perfectly again (yeah I know big deal I have ten pounds to go but to me it is depressing) - feel free to slap me into reality cause that's what I need.
Anyways I've never worn dresses because I've always hated my legs. So just when I started to like the way I was looking again I went to try on dresses for our cruise for formal nights. I also tried on corsets at Frederick's. Well I got disgusted at the reflection in the mirror and then when walking around the mall I got insecure and of course noticed all the pretty "skinny" people and just wanted to cry.
I actually started getting an attitude with FI over the fact that it was a waste of a trip to the mall (we live about 30 minutes away) because we didn't have much time to do anything (the truth is I came up with an issue to vent out my negativity I was feeling without just saying what was really bothering me).
Luckily we don't buy into each other's negative attitudes anymore and instead we try to pull each other out of it so we can go on being happy. I eventually told him what the heck my issue was. He reminded me how far I have came since we've been together and how he thinks I am beautiful. He also said if want to look the way I describe, it will take even more work than I am doing now. He said I can love myself for how I am or work harder if I want to change the things I don't like (he always says the right things I swear he went to "man school" lol). I was down to 150 which was a 50 pound weight loss since we first got together over 3 years ago. I gained back about 20 which I have since lost 10 of it so I have 10 to go to get back to where I was. I work out about 4 times per week and eat pretty healthy.
I wear a size 7/9 in Jrs for gosh sake. My wedding dress is a size 10. I should totally be happy but at this time I feel really negative.
I can deal with positive criticism so feel free to not just sugar coat the facts but tell me how it REALLY IS lol.
Anyone else feeling the same way please share too as sometimes that helps.
I do feel better after verbally throwing all this up and getting it out of my brain.
Now I will shutup.