So depressed

agape1cor813

I'm getting really down on life right now. I've been working out really hard (30 min elliptical 4x/week, running 3x/week, and strength training 3-4x/week) and my diet could be better (I haven't been eating as many fruits and vegetables, mainly because I live alone and a lot of the fruit goes bad before I can eat it). I lack motivation, and I work so hard and really don't see the results I want. I'm 5'9 and somewhere between 146 and 148 lbs, which I know is healthy, but two years ago I was 137 and everyone was telling me how good I looked. I don't know how to get back there, and I want it so badly.

I feel like I am bulking up everywhere. I used to be overweight, and it stretched out my skin so I will never have that tight, toned physique I want so desperately.

My fiance is of no help to me in this situation either. I get so sad that no matter what I do, I can't change any part of myself and he can't even offer a word of encouragement of support. He's not very expressive, and I know that, but give me a break!

I'm reaching the end of my rope, and getting to the point where I want to say "screw it" and eat til I weigh 200 lbs.

msange727

don't get depressed, and don't give up. give your body some time to adjust and let the weight go, especially since you're in a healthy range right now. unfortunately, our bodies are wired to keep themselves at a "set point," which is a weight at which you've been for a while - so say you've been between 146 and 148 for a while, that means your body will take a little longer to allow it to drop, because of that starvation fear that our bodies have. it sucks, but it's true. but don't let that get you down! keep up the hard work, beause it seems like you're doing just fine, and tweak your diet. if you can't add any time to your workouts, bump up your intensity. and be patient - you'll get there!

PeonyPrincesskdd

your not far at all from  your goal weight.. exercise  is good but it only works if you follow the proper diet as well.  try some new healthy recipes.. buy some fruit for just you.. that is what I do.. I'll go to the store and get 3 apples.. or a bag of grapes or carrots.. it doesnt mean u have to buy a lot and have it go bad... my kid needs a bath now otherwise I would tell you more.. but just keep at it on this board. and keep reading etc its very motivational and helps u stay on track when you read how everyone else keeps on track and there are people liek you who work out a lot but cant seem to lose the weight.. it might be ur diet. or try rinking more water/green tea/ no sugar at all

jonchrissy

Ditto what peony said about buying fruit/veggies for just you. Buy stuff that you can use in multiple meals or frozen veggies. I typically buy a bag of spinach every week along with a bag salad, red peppers and cucumbers. I use the spinach in omlettes, pasta dishes, enchilladas, sandwiches, salads, etc. I am ALWAYS done with the bag before the week is over. I also have a salad with every meal to make sure I get all my veggies in.
For fruits, I typically buy 1 or 2 things of strawberries and then an additional thing of blueberries or cherries depending on the price. For these, I'll bring some to work and eat them during the day or with lunch. I also eat them for dessert after dinner.
I hope this helps a little! But please, don't get down on yourself. Exercise is so so so important for all aspects of your health, even if you aren't losing weight!

raynes

Honestly, you need to stop thinking about what other people think and learn to love your body.  At 5'9" and 148 lbs, I bet that you are pretty darn good looking.  That's well into the healthy BMI range.

You need to stop obsessing about that damned number (weight) and start focusing on other things.  Start thinking about it in terms of what you can DO instead of how much you weigh. 

Your body is probably quite happy with the weight it's at now, and while you probably could get back down to 137, would you be happy?  You'd probably have to work out a TON and eat very strictly.  Personally, I'd rather have the extra 10 lbs and enjoy my life.

Now, that I've got that out of the way...

If you want to look better, start increasing the intensity of your strength training workouts.  I would definitely suggest the book The Female Body Breakthrough.  While you might not see a drop in the scale, building muscle automatically makes you look better.

Stop obessessing over the things you hate about yourself, and start focusing on what you like.  The next time you're looking in the mirror and start thinking a negative though, SQUASH IT! 

miguelhilary2010

As someone who is 5' 8" and 160, I feel you need to love yourself.  Looking for the external accolade will only help your self esteem so much.  Its called SELF-esteem because its how you feel about yourself.  IMO, your weight is very healthy.  I haven't (and probably never will again) weighed in that range since I stopped playing basketball which was for hours, every day, all year round.  I would have to kill myself working out now to get that same body back.  It ain't happening.  I've accepted that, I'm ok with that, and I'm happy with the body I have at this point in my life.

A few days ago there was a post on this board about "what I love about myself".  I think you should think of all the positive aspects of your body, personality, life, etc and realize that the number on the scale is not the only defining factor of who you are or how to be happy.

Good luck!

PS - if you buy frozen veggies and fruits (berries, sliced peaches, etc) then you can use it when you need it, and put the rest back in the freezer for later.  There is much less wasted this way.

cmeyer3946

Agree with raynes.  Sounds like you just need some toning, increase the intensity of your workouts.  Make sure you're sweating like crazy by the end of it and not just because it's hot outside.  If you give up now, it will be SO much harder to get it off.  You're already what some people consider the home stretch.  Get a fire lit under your butt!!  Youre getting married!  Get empowered however you can!  Everytime I'm working out really hard and I think I can't go on.  I say out loud...Pictures Last Forever.  haha.

I'm in a healthy range right now but damn if I'm happy with my body.  WE are our own worst enemies because we desire those compliments.  I'm 152 and 5"6 so I'm on the more cushy, teetering side of healthy.  I want to be 130 again.  It's not impossible but I have my work cut out for me.  If you want to lose weight, find the time to go to the store or market 3 times a week to pick up fresh stuff.  You are right, it will go bad if you buy a lot at once.  Plus you'll get sick of the same fruits and veggies.

Would it be impossible to point blank ask FI to work out with you?  or be encouraging and help you go to the store?  could you sign up for a race together and set a goal?

Laur0813

Another suggestion if fresh fruits veggies are out of the questiong -- buy frozen peaches, berries, etc.. and make yourself a smoothie every morning.  while the fruit isnt fresh, its still fruit.  and you can throw a handful of spinach in, (you wont even taste it). I agree with the other girls that the number on the scale really isnt important -- its how HEALTHY you are. I am actually trying to lose my last ten pounds also.  Refine your diet, whole grains, fruits, veggies, lean protein, combine with exercise.   do that and just dont worry about it!!