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Critique My Vows Please!

What do you think?

Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed about the day that I would get married. As I grew older these dreams translated into plans. By the time I was a teenager I already had a clear vision of what I wanted my dream wedding to look like. I knew that I wanted an abundance of Swarovski crystals, flowers, and the color pink. I knew that I wanted both my mom and dad to walk me down the aisle. But the one thing that was always missing from my dreams, was my prince charming. That is, until you came along. 
Ryan, you are everything that I ever hoped  for and so much more. There are no words that can truly describe how much or how deeply I love you but that will never keep me from trying.
When I am with you I feel as if I'm the luckiest girl in the world. You pamper me with love and affection. You make sure I go to sleep and wake up knowing just how loved I am. You never stop wooing me, even though I've been head over heals in love with you since our first date. You love me for who I am and make me feel absolutely beautiful in my own  skin. There is no one else I would want to share the rest of my life with, because no one makes me feel the way you do. No one else can even even compare to you.
Ryan, I am not perfect nor will I ever be but I promise to strive to be the best wife that can I be. I promise to be faithful to you always. I promise to forever be your hand to hold, your shoulder to lean on, and your other half. I promise to love you regardless of the circumstances. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health. In good times and in bad times. I promise that my love for you will never falter but only continue to grow and reach new depths.
Ryan, you are truly my prince charming. I know that no matter what life throws our way that as long as I have you, I have my happily ever after. I will love and honor you unconditionally for as long as we both shall live.

Re: Critique My Vows Please!

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    zootzizootzi member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think tha is very beautiful. I wouldn't change a thing.
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    edited December 2011
    I like them, they seem very real and from your heart. ♥
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    retaviatoretaviato member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I hope that you don't mind, but I saw just one thing that I'd change:

    "I promise that my love for you will never falter but only continue to grow and reach new depths."

    I'd use the word "heights" instead of depths. It sustains your imagery of growth.
    Things grow to new heights, whereas "depths" can mean "down".

    I hope that explanation makes sense to you. Your phrasing is remarkable!
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    ConKFA319ConKFA319 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can only hope my vows turn out that well. Beautiful job - poignant, meaningful, and from the heart. Bravo :-D
    image
    Wuppikins loves you!

    "Hater-ade is full of disrespectrolytes" - Mehg
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    edited December 2011
    Very sweet!
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    LorMich2011LorMich2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Very nice!
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    edited December 2011
    How sweet! I really like the examples you give: "When I am with you I feel as if I'm the luckiest girl in the world. You pamper me with love and affection. You make sure I go to sleep and wake up knowing just how loved I am."  I love it - wouldn't mind hearing more of those examples of the relationship between the two of you. But it is perfect the way it is. It would only be a personal variation.
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with shortening the first part the rest is very sweet.
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    MMRoberts11MMRoberts11 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think they are really good, but I would shorten the first section.
    image
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_vows_critique-vows-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:24Discussion:24945790-f120-47e6-ac8a-492a0209fd11Post:019fa0dd-318b-46f7-8ce5-2ba577a59383">Re: Critique My Vows Please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed about the day that I would get married. As I grew older these dreams translated into plans. By the time I was a teenager I already had a clear vision of what I wanted my dream wedding to look like. I knew that I wanted an abundance of Swarovski crystals, flowers, and the color pink. I knew that I wanted both my mom and dad to walk me down the aisle. But the one thing that was always missing from my dreams, was my prince charming. That is, until you came along.  Personally, I would siginifcantly shorten this section, or cut it out all together. I think what you are saying is sweet, but in my opinion, it takes waaaaay too long to get to you talking about your FI. I mean, the point of the day is that you are going to be married, not that it's a wedding that fit what you dreamed about. He is the important thing.
    Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

    This. It also makes it seem like you always dreamed of a wedding, not a marriage. It makes you sound a little superficial.  You recover it well by going on to say how great he is, but it still sounds a little shallow I guess.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_vows_critique-vows-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:24Discussion:24945790-f120-47e6-ac8a-492a0209fd11Post:019fa0dd-318b-46f7-8ce5-2ba577a59383">Re: Critique My Vows Please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed about the day that I would get married. As I grew older these dreams translated into plans. By the time I was a teenager I already had a clear vision of what I wanted my dream wedding to look like. I knew that I wanted an abundance of Swarovski crystals, flowers, and the color pink. I knew that I wanted both my mom and dad to walk me down the aisle. But the one thing that was always missing from my dreams, was my prince charming. That is, until you came along. 

    Personally, I would siginifcantly shorten this section, or cut it out all together. I think what you are saying is sweet, but in my opinion, it takes waaaaay too long to get to you talking about your FI. I mean, the point of the day is that you are going to be married, not that it's a wedding that fit what you dreamed about. He is the important thing.
    Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

    I agree. You don't want it sound like you imagined an entire wedding and just had an empty spot for the groom (that came out really harsh, I love the rest of it). How about something more like this:

    "Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed about the day that I would get married. But the one thing I couldn't even imagine was how wonderful my Prince Charming would be, until you came along."
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    edited December 2011
    Oh, and also, the stuff about Swarovski crystals can be funny, but I think it be better placed in a MOH speech than in vows (although obviously you can't write her speech).
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