Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
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Announcements? to Register?

Due to financial reasons, my boyfriend of over 4 years and I  have decided to forego an engagement (no money for ring). We will be getting married at city hall, just the two of us. We plan on having a traditional wedding ceremony and reception in about a year or so. This will be his second wedding and my first. We have been living together for about 4 years and many people regard us as married already. 

Should i send Wedding announcements to our entire family and friends? This may seem strange since we are not already engaged? We are telling our immediate family and close friends, but as news travels some people may feel left out if we dont share with them? or does this not matter since we will be doing the whole "wedding/party/celebration" thing in the near future. 

And so, as people hear of our news will they then want to buy gifts? or will they hold off till the actual wedding. registering now seems silly since we are not having any type of celebration.
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Re: Announcements? to Register?

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    edited December 2011

    it would seem like youre asking for gifts. if people want to gift you, they will find something to give you without a wishlist. they may ask you what you need. or if anyone asks where youre registered simply tell them that you werent expecting gifts, but you plan to have a reception at a later date.

    also, its the general opinion on here that people frown on having a do-over wedding ceremony at a later date. i might search some posts on the ettiquite board or chit-chat boards, to get some ideas or opinions on that.

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    edited December 2011
    I know a lot of people don't believe in the "do-over" ceremonies, but I think if you want to celebrate it with family/friends/loved ones - you should.  I wouldn't register though - since y'all have been living together so long. 
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    deb84deb84 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't care if you have another celebration but DO NOT call it a wedding and I wouldn't call it a reception.  Don't have a wedding party and don't do all the "wedding things" (cake cutting, first dances, etc.)

     Have a nice vow renewal and dinner party to follow.  If people want to give a gift at this time they will, do not register.
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    edited December 2011
    You can announce your wedding once you are married.  That is what a wedding announcement is...an announcement that a wedding has taken place.  You cannot register for this.  It is gift grabby to the extreme.  Also, you can have a vow renewal and a big party if you want, but you don't get to call it a wedding if you are already married.
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    2Bwed20112Bwed2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm really at a loss as to the reasoning behind people doing this.  If you can't afford a big wedding when you are ready to get married, that is totally fine.  Go to city hall and get married.  But for the life of me why do people think it's okay to then years later say they are having a "traditional wedding and reception".  NO, if you wanted a traditional wedding and reception, you would postpone everything and wait until you could afford it.  But you are choosing to forego all of that and do the city hall thing.  Now, I'm all for vow renewals or anniversary parties held on a significant year (5 year, 10 year, whatever), but PLEASE do not call it a "wedding" since you will already have been married for TWO years.  Don't do the dress, wedding party, flowers, special dances, etc.  Just call it an anniversary party.  If you wanted all of this then you should have planned it this way on whatever budget you set for yourself when you initially decided to ger married. And you absolutely should NOT register for gifts.  I could, however, see sending announcements after the real wedding at city hall.
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    Juliet212Juliet212 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would do both. I know I am against the norm here.

    If you get married at city hall - you should send an announcement to everyone stating that you are married. I would register but NOT send anything out letting people know where I am registered. That is tacky. But if people want to buy you gifts (to congratulate you) then your mother, or someone by word-of-mouth will have the opportunity to say that you are registered at ___. This way, you get whatever you need. Also, if you have an anniversary party in a year or so after your city hall wedding. I agree with others that you shouldn't have a "wedding" but a celebratory party. This way, you will still be registered and people can give you gifts if they prefer.

    Good Luck!
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