Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
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Incorporating our child into the wedding vows?

I've seen many ways to involve a future step child into the wedding ceremony but does anybody have some ideas how to include a child of ours?  Or have heard vows that include this?

Re: Incorporating our child into the wedding vows?

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    BeeBee22BeeBee22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A wedding is between two adults.  Children can't make vows, as they are too young.  
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    mcskatcatmcskatcat member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I saw this done one time and thought it was kind of creepy. 

    If you are adopting (or he is adopting) the child, then that would be a more appropriate time to include the child in a ceremony that is to make you a family.  A marriage ceremony is really only about the two people involved.  I know that parents often find this hard to understand, but honestly - the ceremony is your time to commit your love to each other forever, not the child.
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    edited December 2011
    I'm also in the innapropriate and creepy camp.

    After all, you're already his/her parents.  You were before you got married and you will be if you (God forbid) get divorced one day.  So, really it feels more "ooh, look at us being extra good parents" rather than like something that actually contributes to the ceremony.

    I'm not saying that's your intention in doing it at all, just how it can come across to others.
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    edited December 2011
    I disagree with the 'creepy and inappropriate' opinions.  Incorporating your child in the ceremony helps include them into what will be the rest of all of your lives!! Yes, you are only marrying eachother, but this ceremony is also about commitment, love, and a life long promise.  There are many ways you can do this- it doesnt have to be vows.  I have seen a daughter be given a ring on a necklace as part of the ceremony, or part of the sand pouring section (to show their love being combined in the larger "family" container...  Good Luck! 
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    edited December 2011
    The kid was included the moment OP realized she was pregnant.
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    edited December 2011
    We are incorporating my son in the ceremony he will be pouring sand in with ours to symbolize becoming a family and my fiance is giving him a sharks tooth that we are having engreaved on for a welcoming to our family gift. I think they should be part of the ceremony they are coming together as a family too.
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    I think it is a wonderful idea, it is not creepy at all, it is very sweet and beautiful what about, "in this final chapter of our lives we come together as a whole to complete the love we have formed. Like a circle, our love for one another will never be and can never be broken. As we stand before our family and friends we would like to introduce our complete family- the ___________'s
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    We asked our officiant to try to work our daughter somewhere into the ceremony, something along the lines of us being joined together as a family rather than a married couple. The vows will be between just the two of us since we are we are committing ourselves to each other, we are both already committed to her by being her parents. We also plan on having someone bring her out to us at the end of the ceremony and we will walk back up the aisle and stand in the receiving line as a family instead of husband and wife. She won't know the difference as she will be just under 2, but she is such a big part of us, it wouldn't feel right to make the ceremony just about us and not mention her. I do agree with asking kids if they are comfortable with being in the ceremony first.
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