Vow Renewal

chelseamc201

I have only been married 8 months and I am already concidering renewing my vows. 

At the time of my wedding, my dad and I were not on speaking terms. As a result he was uninvited to the wedding and he, my brother and sister (who was one of the bridesmaids) were not at my wedding. I felt off the whole day of my wedding, and I know not having my imediate family at the wedding was a major part (that and the guest count, mentioned later) Because of the tension between my dad and I, most of my side of the family did not show.

My dad and I are on better terms now and we have discussed renewing our vows for the sake of having him, my brother and sister witness our "wedding" Nothing is set in stone, but I am curious to how I will go about the renewal.

For our actual wedding,My H and I (tried) to do the whole shebang, with renting out a nice venue, getting an expensive cake, photographer, and DJ. My Godmother helped us with the wedding, and walked me down the aisle.  After all the money that went into it, only 48 people showed, out of 140. My dad talked about doing an all out Italian wedding. But after my last experience, I would happy with something small and only inviting maybe 20 close relatives. 

AddieCake

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. Hopefully everything is better with your family moving forward!

You really shouldn't do an "all out wedding" for this since you already had a wedding. People will side eye this. Vow renewals are best suited for anniversaries (I personally prefer milestone anniversaries for them), but here is a website that may be of help to you:

http://www.idotaketwo.com/vow_renewal_etiquette.html

QueerFemme

I agre with Addie.  I am sorry that you were going through that with your dad and family, but ultimately, you are stll married.  People will side-eye this event, even if they don't say it to your face.

I would maybe just throw an amazing anniversary party and hold off doing a vow renewal for your 10 or 20 year anniversary.

chelseamc201

Thank you, Addie for recomending that website. It looks like it has a lot of good information I will be able to use

georgiamiller00

Hi @chelseamc201 Im sorry for hearing that, but good thing is you still got your husband who is with you all those times. Best of wishes !

Doingitoutside2013

I would say if only inviting 20 CLOSE relatives go for it. ( It would be odd to ask others again.) But close family would know the details and level of your stress and family strain that day. They most likely would not be offended and perhaps the vow renewal will help with further family healing. I went to a wedding once where the father of the groom had a heart attack the morning of the wedding. The doctors were unsure whether he would make it or not, but the groom's mother insisted they go ahead with the ceremony. It was beautiful, but not the same. So with the docs approval, they went to the hospital and renewed their vows...just a couple of hours later. They were now able to arrive to their evening reception with a heavy heart a little lighter because their father was able to share in their big day. If they had waited 10 years, the father would have never been able to enjoy this special event with them. He survived that scare, but did not live to even make their 5 year anniversary. So sometimes proper rules and etiquette do not fit the occasion. Those are merely guidelines and not rules of what to do that will best be seen as proper and acceptable by the masses. But for 20 close relatives, go for the all out Italian vow renewal. whatever makes you happy. Wear what you want, do what you want, dance however you want, and laugh as much as you want. You deserve it.

beardownbchs

I'm sorry that your family wasn't at your wedding. I can imagine that was very sad for you. But your wedding is not about your father or your sister or your brother. It's about you and your husband. Having another wedding just so these people can see it sounds kind of ridiculous to me. If you had a videographer, show them the video. Show them the pictures. Anything more than that seems inappropriate to me. Instead of another wedding, have a family reuinion. THAT is about family.