Formal Engagement.. Possible FMIL Issue

Jeff and Deepthi · May 2010

Hey Ladies,

So I went ahead and kind of set the date for the formal engagement for Nov. 27th. This is where back in India the two families had decided that everyone was in full agreement that these two people can get married. While it was done more because of arrange marriage purposes we still do it here to please our parents.
The issue I ran across is that while my boyfriend and my parents were all in agreement, cause it means having all the family in for Thanksgiving, my forgetful boyfriend didn't remember it's his mother's birthday. When I told her we had thought about this date what do you think she mentioned to me it was her birthday and I initially said we would just move it. She said not to but I think just to be nice. You could tell a little she didn't want all that on her birthday. The day is on a Saturday so please vote on what you girls think I should do.. Thanks. Sorry didn't mean for it to be this long.

EDIT:
There are three options

-- Change it to Nov. 26th the Friday

-- Keep it Nov. 27th and just acknowledge her birthday there

-- Change it to Oct. 16th -- a random weekend we picked.

sparklingdiamond · May 2010

Would it be difficult to just change the date? I think that would be the nice thing to do, since it is her birthday.

bdettecrow · May 2010

If it's not too difficult to move the date, I'd move it. That way no problems start with the FMIL. And I think in the long run, it'll help you out. I don't know how your FMIL is, but you don't want her giving you a guilt trip about taking away "her" day.

shortgirltx · May 2010

My friend got married on her mothers birthday a few years ago and she was okay with it. In the middle of the reception they had a birthday cake brought out with candles and everyone sang happy birthday to her. It came as a complete surprise to her. I think if you can't move it maybe take a little time out to celebrate her.

MissAngel · May 2010

If it were me, I'd keep it the same date and just acknowledge her birthday. We had cake at our formal engagment and I would just make it a birthday cake. All of the family/relatives will be there anyway and it's just this one year. But I can see where others are coming from about creating issues with FMIL, but she did initially say you should keep the date. Also, I'm not sure about in your family, but it had to be a "lucky day" according to the lunar calendar as well... so there wasn't a chance I would have been able to change mine since my day was the only lucky day that landed on a Saturday for a while.

shauna378 · May 2010

If it is no big deal to change it I would. I would do the day after her birthday as opposed to the day before so it doesn't take away her 'thunder' or the random October date.