Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth

Did you ever think about calling off the wedding?

Just curious.

My mother is making this whole process so frustrating and manello has me seriously thinking about eloping.
Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

Re: Did you ever think about calling off the wedding?

  • courtski2004courtski2004 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I've had my 'lets just go to Vegas' moments. Isn't there a Country song that starts this way? Guess I could google it, but hey, it's not that important. HA!

    I would talk to her about how she is making this a strenuous and undesirable process for you, and that you are seriously considering an easier alternative. Has she become more hands-on and annoying as a result of your brother's sudden engagement? This might be her coping mechanism if she is upset with the way that situation was handled on his part. I'm sure that she isn't meaning to be a PITA, even though for some of us (myself included) think that our mothers at one point or another were put on this earth to simply get under our skin and annoy us.
    Sorry that she's making you feel that way, Court!!
  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Oh gosh yes.  I think we've all had our moments.  In the end though, it was so wonderful and all worth it.

    What specifically is your mom doing?
  • edited December 2011
    I have this thought at least once a day. Funny thing is the FI mentions the same thing. So we will see if we make it to the wedding date without eloping.
  • juliebug1997juliebug1997 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Did I think about eloping or having a destination wedding?  Heck, yes, I did.  My ILs caused so much stress that it was all I thought about some days.  My parents just wanted us to be married.  They would have gone anywhere to see it happen.  We did have the wedding for his parents.  There was actually a conversation with Bill about that three months before the wedding. 

    I never wished for a different outcome although I wish I'd had a less stressful route to the outcome.  I don't regret a single moment of our wedding day.  However, I think I might be one of a few who didn't care myself where it happened or when it happened, I just wanted it to happen. 
  • edited December 2011
    Yes I did.  I didn't even want the whole wedding in the first place and as events went down,  it made me want to do it even more.

    I do want to say, if deep down this wedding is what YOU (since this is about YOU and FI, not your mom afterall) want, I don't think you should have to give it up because of her.  Yes it may be easier to just elope but in the end you wouldn't want to regret not doing what you wanted to do because of her. 

    Do you mind posting some of the things she is doing and maybe we can tell you what we did to handle the situations?  Some of us have BTDT and don't want to repeat it ;)

    I'm sorry you are feeling this way.  It should be one of the happier times in your life.
  • sarathirzasarathirza member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I've definitely considered it...divorced parents that don't speak are always fun to plan major events with.  When it comes down to it though, I can't imagine marrying FI without having all of our closest friends and family there to share it with us. Cheesy, I know, but true.  So sorry to hear you're having problems, hope things get better for you!!
  • edited December 2011
    Yes the wedding definately, the marriage never! My mom is also doing somethings to make me want to elope. Also I was trying to talk FI into eloping as a birthday gift to me. He said no! I am looking forward to my wedding it will just take a lot to get there.
  • edited December 2011
    I had these thoughts about once a week.  I would beg DH to go to Vegas with me and just get married.  I was so over all of my family giving me crap about the guest list and how much money it was costing US, not them!  I wanted a simple lake side wedding with about 50 of our closest friends and family.  DH wanted a church wedding so we settled on a chapel.  I enjoyed all the planning but as we got further into the planning and more people getting involved and giving me their opinions and my step dad getting sicker I was done and just wanted to be married.  Sorry you are going through all of the problems with your mom but try talking to her!  You may be surprised how she responds.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    I never wanted to call it off, but I didn't want to run away and elope.  All the way up until the day of.  Now that it's over and I can look back, I would not want to change a single moment of it.
  • edited December 2011
    I wanted to run away at first..but once we decided to do it here there was no looking back.

    Was I miserable sometimes?  Absolutely.   Would I change anything about it?  No Way!
  • MLandCJMLandCJ member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    The issues with my mother are pretty much that I'm frustrated all the time with her. I have to explain everything atleast 10 times and still she doesn't understand. She tries to help by giving me her ideas, but when I say "No, Thank You"  she flips. She judges EVERYTHING. I'm just over it. We are at each other's throat CONSTANTLY.

    After that I then have to explain to my FI who always answers  " It's up to you. What ever you think would be best.". I barely know what I am doing myself let alone being  able to masterfully say exactly what I want.

    ...and then my father and so on. It gets old and I feel like it is a no win situation.

    My mother and I talked this morning. At times I feel like I am more mature than her, but I feel that we discussed alot of things that needed to be discussed. There are still some issues that need to be worked out though. All in time I suppose....

    At this moment the wedding is on, the marriage was always on.

    Thanks for all the input everyone:)
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • edited December 2011
    Are your parents contributing to the wedding?

    Most problems came from MIL.  DH learned as the year went on, the less you share the better so he wouldn't bring up the wedding with her anymore; he was sad that he could share what we'd accomplished but he was so tired of feeling run over.  She was so negative and can not say a single positive thing about our wedding.   Details were kept on a need to know basis only.  I had to avoid certain topics with certain people on my side as well like my dad and the alcohol.  MIL was not contributing in any way so I know it can get tricky when it's a contributing parent causing problems. 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards