why why why am i having such a hard time

sdt24 · April 2011

Ok ladies I need help!! I have been engaged for about 7 months now and I havent done a single thing. I've tried but I have just had so many other things going on that i havent had time to sit and REALLY plan anything. I have gone to look at venues but it seems like everything is to expensive for our budget, which I thought was a pretty decent sized budget considering im only having about 120 people. How much of my budget should be going towards the venue, food and drinks? i have planned on spending no more than 12000 and leaving 7000 for everthing else like pics. dress, cake, dj, flowers etc. (not including rings or honeymoon). Am i doing this correctly? I dont know if its rude for me to ask this and put my budget out there but I am REALLY frustrated and am planning this pretty much all on my own. The problem is i really wanted to do it at a hotel because they usually allow for a longer event time which is quite important to us because well... our family likes to celebrate!! Please help me!! thanks and sorry this is sooo long

TexanTreasure08 · April 2011

I would start out with one of the budget tools. I like the one on weddingwire.com the most. You put in your total budget, number of guests & attendants, and they tell you how much you should spend for each category. I had to go over on a few categories, but most of them are pretty good starting points.

Also, check out our website from the sticky at the top. Venues are all over the place cost wise, I'm sure you'll find something in your budget.

Hope that helps!

Angela

professorscience · April 2011

One word: Breathe. Lots of girls on here have had 2+ year engagements, so we know long planning.

Regarding your budget, TheKnot has a neat little budget calculator, as does mywedding and weddingwire (I think), so you should consider using those. Most people say you should plan on spending at least half your budget on your reception venue, because food and drink are going to cost you the most.

I would think 12,000 for venue, food, and drink would be more than enough for your guestcount.

And check out our vendor sticky for some venue ideas!

professorscience · April 2011

Angela, you are a ninja!

sdt24 · April 2011

thank you. I have tried using some of those budget tools but they usually suggest that i spend way less on the venue food and drinks, for my budget. Am i being unrealistic?

FebDallasBride · April 2011

What day of the week are you planning for? Try to be flexible with that and that could be a life-saver.

ETA: FWIW I have a similar budget for my Saturday wedding of 150 and it is doable. Our minimum at our venue was $9000, and we are doing a 3:30 ceremony and 4-8 reception. We are avoiding needing a full meal by doing this but we are still meeting the minimum. After tax and grat I think we hit $12500. I went budget on everything else, including flowers ($1000), DJ (<$1000), Photog (she's more now but starts a little over $1250), Cake ($500 from a reputable bakery) and I'm coming out at $18500 when it's all said and done. I am guilty of being a Craigslist bride and found my DOC, Photog and Videographer all on there.

professorscience · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_am-having-such-hard-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:666b470b-b98a-4128-9cde-bc6ae17a9cb1Post:42458151-9b80-49cb-a754-6ee211ba306a">Re: why why why am i having such a hard time</a>:
[QUOTE]thank you. I have tried using some of those budget tools but they usually suggest that i spend way less on the venue food and drinks, for my budget. Am i being unrealistic?
Posted by sdt24[/QUOTE]

I know that the one from The Knot lets you edit how much you want to spend, it just takes away from other things. You can also delete things you're not going to have. Like, it has a whole section for "Junior Attendant" costs, so I deleted that and it just re-allocated the money. And it suggested I spend like $1000 on photography, and I went WAY over that. It just helps you to see what is a pretty average allocation of the money you want to spend.

I would also suggest a coordinator if you really feel like you are alone in your planning.. If you can work one in, they are truly worth it, even if you don't go with full-service coordination. Many will help you set out a budget even if you only hire them for the day of your wedding.

Edit: And to tag onto Wendi's comment, I know a couple who had their reception at the same venue she is using for a little more than her total budget (at least based on what they told me 8 months before the wedding) and they served a full meal. You should definitely check out the Magnolia for your budget.

MsLaura31 · April 2011

I wouldn't spend more than 50% of your budget on venue, food and drinks. All those other things add up FAST, and you're more likely to go over budget.

Also, you say your guest list is 120 people. Are you sure? Have you made an actual list with everyone's names written out? And then talked about this list with your families? I only ask because I started planning with the assumption we'd have 100-130 guests. Then when we really wrote out the names.... yeah... it was closer to 250.

Tiffany618 · April 2011

Don't rule out country clubs, either. Mine let us spend the entire day there getting ready and we didn't have to be out until midnight.

We had our ceremony and reception there, served a full gourmet meal with passed appetizers and an open bar. The space was free, they provided a coordinator, and all you had to do was meet the minimum....which was $8500 I think on a Saturday evening. I had mine on a Friday and the minimum was only $3500...but we spent just under $7k for about 100 people.

Easily within your budet.

nickandmerritt · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_am-having-such-hard-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:666b470b-b98a-4128-9cde-bc6ae17a9cb1Post:42458151-9b80-49cb-a754-6ee211ba306a">Re: why why why am i having such a hard time</a>:
[QUOTE]thank you. I have tried using some of those budget tools but they usually suggest that i spend way less on the venue food and drinks, for my budget. Am i being unrealistic?
Posted by sdt24[/QUOTE]

I think it just depends. For instance, you could save a ton of money by buying a less expensive dress, payless shoes or by minimizing flowers, using an ipod instead of a DJ, etc. That would give you more to put towards venue, food, and drinks. It really just depends on what your priorities are. You and your FI may want to figure out what each of you think is most important and then alter your budget accordingly.

Is the 12,000 your total budget or what you are planning to put into the food and venue? What area are you looking to get married--we might be able to help you narrow down some venues that would fit your budget.

fallbride1109 · April 2011

Like you, we started with roughly a $20K budget for our hotel wedding--but at our hotel the minimum was $16K so we quickly had to increase it. We ended up with 110 guests so about the same guest size as yours. Most hotels will have a minimum for a Saturday night--another option is a country club which may have a lower minimum. But what you are wanting is definitely doable although you may have to scale down other areas if you are firm on wanting a hotel on a Saturday night. There are lots of great venues in Dallas that are well within your budget. You just need to start looking.

MarieSD · April 2011

I had difficulties planning too, and my budget was initially smaller than yours. Now, though, it's increased to be in line with yours, I think. I hired a wedding planner for "partial planning" and she helped me find vendors in my price range.

It turned out that the biggest expenses weren't at all related to how many guests we're having -- it was the photographer, DJ, venue, wedding venue, etc. We were surprised. Then again -- we are having it at a venue where you can bring in your own food and beverage, so I'm sure we're saving a fortune on the alcohol.

At my venue (YWCA in Ft Worth) you have the building from noon until 1 a.m. the next day, which is plenty of time for us.

K and C · April 2011

To give you an estimate of what things cost, our ceremony and reception venue including F&B, taxes, wait staff, etc for 150 people was about $10k, so it would obviously be less for 120. I think this is totally doable, so don't even stress

Prioritize where you feel necessary, there's no rule that says a certain percent of your budget has to go to one place or another -ex: it is possible to find a wedding dress for really cheap in order to book a more expensive DJ. I found the budget tool on Martha Stewart Weddings to be quite a helpful starting place, but I really suggest making your own spreadsheet.

Good luck, and no worries

ETA: Our wedding is at a hotel also, the Grand Hotel in McKinney

DFWIndian · April 2011

Listen to the girls. If you don't want to plan then get an event/ party planner and see if you can work that into your budget. It might help you if you aren't one of those people who enjoy planning at all.

sdt24 · April 2011

thank you ladies:) I just feel like im doing something wrong. I have sat down and written all the guests down that we could afford to invite according to this budget. There are quite a few other people that we would like to invite but I dont think this budget allows it. We are open to getting married really just about anywhere in DFW. Thank you everyone I really appreciate all the help.

texaggie07 · April 2011

My budget is pretty much in line with yours and I've found several places that fit. My big ticket items right now are my dress and photography.

When are you getting married? **edit Depending on the time of year you could have a ceremony outside with the reception inside at an all-in-one place. I found one in Azle, TX that is opening in June that seemed to be reasonable pricing. We are getting married in August so an outdoor ceremony was not going to work but might work for you.

I found the Colleyville Center which is a lot of DIY but allows you have to the venue for 8 hours and an option to tack on more hours if you want. There is also not a F&B minimum so it's completely up to you to go shopping for a caterer that is affordable and with 120 people you should be able to do that. However, if you don't have time or can't afford to put anyone in the budget to help you set up then it's probably not worth it to do a DIY place.

LIke some of the girls said a lot of the smaller country clubs have great rates. We opted out of them merely because we wanted to invite more than 150 and some of the smaller places did not have enough room for that many people.

If you have any questions or want to see my spreadsheet of venues let me know. I went a little overboard and emailed about 40-50 venues in my research.

sdt24 · April 2011

I dont enjoy planning it all. Its part of the reason why Im just now really starting to. Im not sure that an event planner would work with my budget

MsLaura31 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_am-having-such-hard-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:666b470b-b98a-4128-9cde-bc6ae17a9cb1Post:9810b600-65a1-4d15-8f16-0b870f53a882">Re: why why why am i having such a hard time</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont enjoy planning it all. Its part of the reason why Im just now really starting to. Im not sure that an event planner would work with my budget
Posted by sdt24[/QUOTE]

You don't know until you ask... Mine specifically does. She's only my DOC, but I know she does full planning.
<a href="http://www.rachelevents.com/">http://www.rachelevents.com/</a>
Tell her Laura from her 6/25/11 wedding sent you. :)

texaggie07 · April 2011

Also might want to try the Rockwall Wedding Chapel. Family friend just got married there recently and my mom was raving about it. They are pretty all-inclusive too so you wouldn't have to make many decisions or calls.

Tiffany618 · April 2011

My country club held up to 300 people. Not small.

ssarangi · April 2011

I agree, if you don't like planning, I would definitely look into a coordinator. You mentioned that you don't think your budget will allow for one, but coordinators have lots of contacts and can manage to get you better rates, thus offsetting the price of their fees. We have a coordinator for the last 6 - 8 weeks and even though we didn't hire her for full-service, she still opened up her 'rolodex' to us and that has helped a lot. The $$ we have saved thus far (approx. $1500) has already partially paid for her fee ($3000). I have contacted some vendors on my own and asked for a special rate for our coordinator, and most have provided at least a bit off their price.

Our venue (Addison Conference & Theater Center) is pretty cheap and will allow us to be in the space for at least 12 hours. If there isn't an event prior to ours, we will be permitted to get in there even earlier.

sdt24 · April 2011

thank you so much!!

bigbabyface · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_am-having-such-hard-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:666b470b-b98a-4128-9cde-bc6ae17a9cb1Post:e15ebc61-3868-4bbd-afed-7f43ad3826f8">Re: why why why am i having such a hard time</a>:
[QUOTE]thank you ladies:) I just feel like im doing something wrong. I have sat down and written all the guests down that we could afford to invite according to this budget. There are quite a few other people that we would like to invite but I dont think this budget allows it. We are open to getting married really just about anywhere in DFW. Thank you everyone I really appreciate all the help.
Posted by sdt24[/QUOTE]

totally doable, our budget is about half of your's...maybe a K or two higher than half. but we'll be having around 125-145 people. and i think after EVERYTHING, we're coming out to $8k. although, we still have a few more months, so that could change...but we're having a full bar and a full dinner.

You really just have to search, find a venue that allows you to bring in your own catering, that will DRASTICALLY cut the price. We went from $30pp to $7pp...for a full appetizer, pasta dinner, and salad. we budgeted around $500 for alcohol, which...comes out to a few liqour drinks, and about 3 beers pp. find out what's most important to you...and make that your focal point. our focal point was food, so we found a venue that allowed us to bring in our own. Like many girls on here, i'll be using the YWCA in fort worth. It sounds odd, being married at a Y....but it's not like that...honest....its a very beautiful historical building in down town FW. Check it out, it's VERY budget bride friendly.