Who pays for what?

babyt6383

Okay, so every website I go to for this advice has something different!  So I thought I'd come to you guys to see what ya'll are doing and get some advice.  My parents are paying for the bulk of the wedding.  So far my fiance's parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner but neither her or I know where we should go from there.  Should my parents go ahead and pick it all up to make it easy or are there standard things that the grooms fam pays for?  Any help is sooooo appreciated!!!

 Thanks!

amber+richard05

We are paying for it all ourselves, with a little help from my FI mom, and both sets of parents are going in on the rehersal dinner.

In your situation, if your fiances parents have only offered to pay for the rehersal then that is all you can expect them to pay for. I am sure if they can help more they will but you can't just ask.  Many traditions that were in place many years ago are no longer in place. Here is a link that states the tradition, you can bring the traditions up as me and fi did, but that doesn't mean it will happen.

http://wedding.theknot.com/getting-engaged/engaged/articles/wedding-budget-who-pays-for-what.aspx

I really hope that didn't come out mean as I didn't intend it to be that way, only helpful.

babyt6383

Thanks for you input...you didn't come across mean at all haha.  I appreciate any advice.  That website really helps.  I know it's not a matter of them not wanting to help out with anything, but rather that neither me nor my FMIL knows what the grooms family usually pays for.

mandasue178

I think that in this day and age, it's really what they want to pay for. We paid for most of it, and our parents helped where they could. My IL's paid for the RD, the church fees (it was their church), the pianist and the vocalist (agin, their church, people they knew). Via their gift to us they also pretty much paid for the honeymoon. 

Terriniski

Have a discussion and allow them to offer suggestions.  My ILs just paid for the rehearsal dinner.  If we had needed more from them, we probably could have asked.  My parents initially offered to pay a set amount that we could use towards whatever - so that's another approach you could take with them rather than suggesting they pay for particular expenses.  If they have a dollar amount in mind, you could suggest they contribute that toward rehearsal dinner and whatever's left over can go toward other expenses as you need it.  Or you can figure out and suggest something like "That sounds like it will cover rehearsal dinner and flowers, so flowers can be your contribution."

emimayor

My MIL was all about tradition, so they paid for the following:

My bouquet (supposedly the groom is supposed to do this)
All Rehearsal dinner expenses
Alcohol (not really a tradition, but they wanted to do this)
Transportation

Everyone has given great advice. Have your FI discuss details with them.

TCUESW1999

Pretty much the same as Emi.  Both sides of our family are pretty tradtional and we followed tradition pretty much down to a "T'.  I was given an etiquette book that was HUGE that belonged to my grandmother and mother.  It was definitely old school but I am glad we followed it.  Anyway, if I can remember, the grooms side paid for the marriage license, bridal bouquet and all the grooms boutonnieres as well as the mothers/grandmothers/grandfathers/fathers corsages, transportation, the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon.  The brides side paid for everything else.    

babyt6383

thanks for all the input guys....it really helps to get an idea of what most people are doing these days