Out of town Bachelorette Party vs 2 parties (some BMs have infants)?

BeachBunnyLaura

I'm the MOH & trying to plan a bridal shower, bachelorette & baby shower all in +/-3 months-& I'm feeling OVERWHELMED! 

The current problem is that 2 of the 6 bridal party members have young children (under 2). This makes a weekend getaway almost impossible for them. One of the maids suggested a South Beach weekend for shopping, dining & dancing & the bride was very excited. Now what do I do? Throw 2 parties: one here & also a getaway? Or just 2 bad if the Mommies can't come?

Also, since the Bachelorette is our financial responsibility-are we supposed to pay our portion of the gas, hotel, food, etc AND a share of hers as well...??

Thoughts? 

Simply Fated

Instead of going away for the weekend, why not just pick one evening to do something? Surely the bride would understand that the mothers dont' want to leave their kids all weekends.
Have the mothers said they didn't want to leave their kids all weekend?
This is definitely something to discuss with them.

And, yeah, the bachlorette party is usually paid by who ever has agreed to host/fund it. This usually includes gas, hotel stay and food. But this can differ, depending on what was agreed upon. The bride really shouldn't have to pay for a party being thrown for her. Of course, if it's something you and others just cant' afford, then choose an activity you can afford.

If it comes down to havig two celebrations, that's fine. But I really suggest discussing this with the bridesmaids. Maybe a mass e-mail, or, even better, phone calls. GL!

MrMrsHunt2010

My girls did a weekend getaway for me a few weeks ago down at the beach for my bachelorette. The maid of honor has a 3 year old and there were about 5 others with little ones (under 2) who also came down for the entire weekend. The others were friends outside the bridal party, but 2 in the bridal party are pregnant and enjoyed the weekend as well since it wasn't just a night out of drinking. The mothers that came gave the responsibility to the daddys or found a babysitter and were very happy for a weekend away! They used it as their own mini-vaca and many of them told me how happy they were to just have a girls weekend away. I would talk with the other bridesmaids and see what they think. I even had one friend who has a 4 month old and was nursing! She just pumped when they went back to the room and had a great weekend. Talk with the bridesmaids and see- they might be in need of a girls weekend getaway too! 

As for cost, what my girls ended up doing was they all threw in a certain amount on Friday night and that paid for my food & drink for the weekend. I drove down with one of them so I didn't have to pay for gas. We also were able to stay at the maid of honor's home since she lives at the beach so that certainly helped them with costs. 

Hope that helps!

trix1223

B-parties don't have to be extravagent blowouts.  I understand that your bride likes the idea of a weekend, but if you have 2 BM's who likely can't come, you have a couple of options/decisions as I see it:

#1)  Plan a b-party that everyone can attend.  Make it a fun afternoon or night out rather than a whole weekend.

#2)  Plan the weekend and know that some of the BM's won't attend.  FWIW:  I wouldn't have attended.  Having small children not only meant babysitters for a full weekend and a big expense that we likely wouldn't have been able to afford. 

Once I had my kids, my priorities shifted.  A weekend of shopping, dining, and dancing in an expensive area would not at all have been something I'd want to do, no matter how close I was to my friend.  It would have been irresponsible for our family at that time in our lives.


To answer the next part of your question, which might help in your decision.  Yes, typically at a b-party, the bride pays for nothing at all.  Are you and your friends prepared and able to foot the entire bill for an expensive weekend?

Finally, I guess it comes down to the bride:  does she want a party that most, if not everybody can attend, or does she want the more expensive party that some will not?

I wouldn't have a problem saying to her "Not everyone can make the weekend, and it's out of the budget of some of us.  We're still going to have a fun b-party, so save June 13th."

And no, you're not obligated to throw two parties.  I wouldn't at all.  Sometimes in life people have to make choices.  This is one of those times.  B-parties are not requirements to get married.  WP members are under NO obligation to plan, throw, or even attend pre-wedding parties, including the b-party.

GL

ETA:  One of the things you need to accept when you plan a weekend, and expensive B-party is that not everyone will be able to attend.  So you need to weigh the consequences of your decision.