Bridal Shower/FMIL vent

sdurham1

So my FMIL is a wonderful lady but somewhat of a controler. She and her close friend whom I've never met have decided to throw me a bridal shower. super nice but they set a tentative date for around the same time as the one my MOH and sis are throwing in Virginia with all my bridesmaids and friends. I live in georgia near the FMIL and have few friends here to even invite and that makes me seem pathetic, having a shower with only like 3 people the bride actually knows. So to try and please my FMIL by letting her have the shower (wish I don't want) but also trying to please myself because lets face it I am the bride, I thought up having a holiday themed one around thanksgiving/christmas time so fiance and I could register for fun holiday things that we love but cannot afford right now. I have dropped some subtle hints and even got Fiance to do the same but FMIL has not listened... What do I do now? It's almost too late to plan one and I'm getting alittle P/Oed at her for ignoring me, the person she is throwing the shower for. PS she also did this with the reshearsal dinner, she dragged me and fiance to 6 different places and never asked my opinion (she did ask his though after each. literally it was "son what do you think of that one?" then nothing. sorry nothing to do with current problem but its a sore spot

Leah&Christian09

When she is hostessing, she can control these parties.  That goes for the shower and the RD.  If you don't want the shower, say "You know, my sister is throwing one, and with you being so kind as to host the RD, I just don't want to put you out" and skip it.  If she is going to host it, your job is to give her a list of dates that work for you, and then stay out of it.  Your wedding isn't until June, so your showers shouldn't be until April-May.  It's August.  There's no reason to even think of picking a date right now.With the RD, if she is paying, she can pick the place and call all the shots.  If you don't like it, say thanks but no thanks and pay for it yourself.  Then you can have it anywhere you want.

ffmaid

1. Tell FMIL thank you but that the timing of this does not work for you as you are attending teh other shower around this time and also you feel uncompftable with a shower that included guests that are not invited to teh wedding as that is a breach of ettiquette. You so hope she can make it to your other shower however 2. you can register for holiday stuff no matter when your showers/wedding are

JaimeeP

Definitely, let her know about the conflicting dates! She wouldn't want to plan a shower that you cannot attend.Don't worry about only having 3 friends in GA to invite. Maybe, you FMIL is planning to invite your Fi's family to the shower, since they probably won't be able to attend the shower in VA. This is such a lovely way to welcome you into the family. She is the hostess and is in charge. Same with the rehearsal dinner! Is it possible that your FMIL is listening to your 'hints' but still hoping to surprise you a little bit? Don't worry about the details, just enjoy and be thankful. You have enough to do with wedding planning.p.s. Does anyone think a December shower seems a little early for a June wedding?